It was a warm day. My eyes hurt when the morning sun fell all over. I could hear the shrieking voices of traffic and the whistles of cooker. My throat was dry. I opened my eyes and glanced around. It was my room. Every one of my things were in the correct spot. “What day it was?” I thought. I tried to get up, yet all of a sudden a deplorable idea made me fall.
“Amal… I am sorry to say this. Because of minor stun during the surgery you won’t almost certainly move your legs. Yet, I guarantee that it tends to be relieved by regular physios. I promise…Be bold and don’t lose trust.”
I tried to get up again. Goodness God! I can’t move my legs. I fell to the bed in a disheveled heap as my grief poured out in a flood of uncontrollable tears.
A half year ago I was diagnosed to have third stage cancer. I was completely devastated then.
“Doctor…Is this disease treatable? I need a precise picture of it.”
“Doctor…Please don’t hide things from me.”
“Umm…Amal dear please calm down. Our pro group is there to support you. All we need is your whole hearted co-operation. We promise that we would attempt our level best to make you survive.
From that day onward I was trying to cooperate with them. I had my first surgery a week ago, trusting that my doctors would keep up their promise. Each time they continue telling me that everything is going to be great. This surgery is going to change Amal’s life. I didn’t need them to give me any more hopes this time.
But they came up with a new hope and new promise.
I could hold the heartbreak no longer. Gut wrenching sobs tore through my chest. The sorrow, distress and misery hovered around me like a snake. Every one of the promises given to me were futile. Promises are like pie crust, made to be broken…
I am drained living this way. “Oh! God Please end my life…”
“Amal…Do you know there are total eighteen stairs to climb to reach my home. I am not going to lift you. You need to climb it yourself.”
I took my phone and read the message over and over again. It was from Aadhi…Adhithya…Love of my life.
I was erupted like a volcano when I read it for the first time. I was so frantic at my situation and he is feigning something.
Each time I read it, my anger paced down. “What did he really mean by it.”
Consider the possibility that I lost my life during the surgery. It didn’t occur. I recovered my life. So there was hope.
“I want to walk…”
“I want to live normally without the smell of medicines and tormenting chemos.”
“What more…I want to climb any number of stairs.”
“If you don’t get everything you want, change the way you think about it.”
The greatest lesson he taught me.
That is the reason I love him. Not just due to the intense love he gives me. He tossed light to my life. Never sympathizes my state. I didn’t need to explain anything. He comprehends through my single breathe. Taught me, happiness is an attitude. Whether make ourselves miserable or happy, the amount of work is the same.
When I proposed him the main thing he needed was, whatever is the situation, I ought to never leave him…
“Aadhi…I promise you that I will try my best to survive and stay with you forever…”
I texted back…
“No matter how devastating our struggles, disappointments and troubles are, they are only temporary. No matter what happens to you, no matter how death stalks you and your loved ones, the resurrection promises you a future…”
“While the resurrection promises us a new and perfect life in future, God loves you too much to leave us alone to contend with the pain, guilt and loneliness of our present life…”
I could understand that better, when I am here, sitting besides him in his home and composing this blog.
When he tied the nuptial knot around my neck I vowed to cherish him perpetually every day forever…
I put my diary back.
When he got up I gave him a card which read…
“I promise you to finish every one of my promises I gave you till date…”
“Happy Anniversary Baby…”