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The sound of a clanking sword is heard outside. MRS. BREWSTER
looks up, smiles to herself, and goes on reading. A knock--a
timid knock.
MRS. BREWSTER: Come in.
(Enter CAPTAIN MIKES STANDISH, whiskered and forty. In a later
generation, with that imposing mustache and his hatred of
Indians, Miles would undoubtedly have been a bank president. At
present he seems somewhat ill at ease, and obviously relieved to
find only PRISCILLA'S aunt at home.)
MRS. BREWSTER: Good evening, Captain Standish.
MILES: Good evening, Mrs. Brewster. It's--it's cool for June,
isn't it?
MRS. BREWSTER: Yes. I suppose we'll pay, for it with a hot
July, though.
MILES (nervously): Yes, but it--it is cool for June, isn't it?
MRS. BREWSTER: So you said, Captain.
MILES: Yes. So I said, didn't I? (Silence.)
MILES: Mistress Priscilla isn't home, then?
MRS. BREWSTER: Why, I don't think so, Captain But I never can
be sure where Priscilla is.
MILES (eagerly): She's a--a fine girl, isn't she? A fine girl.
MRS. BREWSTER: Why, yes. Of course, Priscilla has her faults
but she'd make some man a fine wife--some man who knew how to
handle her-- an older man, with experience.
MILES: Do you really think so, Mrs. Brewster? (After a minute.)
Do you think Priscilla is thinking about marrying anybody in
particular?
MRS. BREWSTER: Well, I can't say, Captain. You know--she's a
little wild. Her mother was wild, too, you know--that is, before
the Lord spoke to her. They say she used to be seen at the
Mermaid Tavern in London with all those play-acting people. She
always used to say that Priscilla would marry a military man.
MILES: A military man? Well, now tell me Mrs. Brewster, do you
think that a sweet delicate creature like Priscilla--
A VOICE (in the next room): Oh DAMN!
MRS. BREWSTER: That must be Priscilla now.
THE VOICE: Auntie!
MRS. BREWSTER: Yes, Priscilla dear.
THE VOICE: Where in hell did you put the vermouth?
MRS. BREWSTER: In the cupboard, dear. I do hope you aren't
going to get--er--"boiled" again tonight, Priscilla. (Enter
PRISCILLA, infinitely radiant, infinitely beautiful, with a
bottle of vermouth in one hand and a jug of gin in the other.)
PRISCILLA: Auntie, that was a dirty trick to hide the vermouth.
Hello Miles--shoot many Indians today?
MILES: Why--er er--no, Mistress Priscilla.
PRISCILLA: Wish you'd take me with you next time, Miles. I'd
love to shoot an Indian, wouldn't you, auntie?
MRS. BREWSTER: Priscilla! What an idea! And please dear, give
Auntie Brewster the gin. I--er--promised to take some to the
church social tonight and it's almost all gone now.
MILES: I didn't see you at church last night, Mistress
Priscilla.
PRISCILLA: Well I'll tell you, Miles. I started to go to
church-- really felt awfully religious. But just as I was
leaving I thought, "Priscilla, how about a drink--just one little
drink?" You know, Miles, church goes so much better when you're
just a little boiled-- the lights and everything just kind
of--oh, its glorious. Well last night, after I'd had a little
liquor, the funniest thing happened. I felt awfully good, not
like church at all-- so I just thought I'd take a walk in the
woods. And I came to a pool--a wonderful honest-to-God
pool--with the moon shining right into the middle of it. So I
just undressed and dove in and it was the most marvelous thing in
the world. And then I danced on the bank in the grass and the
moonlight-- oh, Lordy, Miles, you ought to have seen me.
MRS. BREWSTER: Priscilla!
PRISCILLA: 'Scuse me, Auntie Brewster. And then I just lay in
the grass and sang and laughed.
MRS. BREWSTER: Dear, you'll catch your death of cold one of
these nights. I hope you'll excuse me, Captain Standish; it's
time I was going to our social. I'll leave Priscilla to
entertain you. Now be a good girl, Priscilla, and please dear
don't drink straight vermouth--remember what happened last time.
Good night, Captain--good night, dear.
(Exit MRS. BREWSTER with gin.)
PRISCILLA: Oh damn! What'll we do, Miles--I'm getting awfully
sleepy.
MILES: Why--we might--er--pet a bit.
PRISCILLA (yawning): No. I'm too tired--besides, I hate whiskers.
MILES: Yes, that's so, I remember. (Ten minutes' silence, with
MILES looking sentimentally into the fireplace, PRISCILLA curled
up in a chair on the other side.)
MILES: I was--your aunt and I--we were talking about you before
you came in. It was a talk that meant a lot to me.
PRISCILLA: Miles, would you mind closing that window?
(MILES closes the window and returns to his chair by the
fireplace.)
MILES: And your aunt told me that your mother said you would
some day marry a military man.
PRISCILLA: Miles, would you mind passing me that pillow over
there?
(MILES gets up, takes the pillow to PRISCILLA and again sits
down.
MILES: And I thought that if you wanted a military man why--
well, I've always thought a great deal of you, Mistress
Priscilla-- and since my Rose died I've been pretty lonely, and
while I'm nothing but a rough old soldier yet--well, what I'm
driving at is-- you see, maybe you and I could sort of--well, I'm
not much of a hand at fancy love speeches and all that--but
(He is interrupted by a snore. He glances up and sees that
PRISCILLA has fallen fast asleep. He sits looking hopelessly
into the fireplace for a long time, then gets up, puts on his hat
and tiptoes out of the door.)
THE NEXT EVENING
PRISCILLA is sitting alone, lost in revery, before the fireplace.
It is almost as if she had not moved since the evening before.
A knock, and the door opens to admit JOHN ALDEN, nonchalant,
disillusioned, and twenty-one.
JOHN: Good evening. Hope I don't bother you.
PRISCILLA: The only people who bother me are women who tell me
I'm beautiful and men who don't.
JOHN: Not a very brilliant epigram--but still--yes, you ARE
beautiful.
PRISCILLA: Of course, if it's an effort for you to say--
JOHN: Nothing is worthwhile without effort.
PRISCILLA: Sounds like Miles Standish; many things I do without
effort are worthwhile; I am beautiful without the slightest
effort.
JOHN: Yes, you're right. I could kiss you without any effort--
and that would be worthwhile--perhaps.
PRISCILLA: Kissing me would prove nothing. I kiss as casually
as I breathe.
JOHN: And if you didn't breathe--or kiss--you would die.
PRISCILLA: Any woman would.
JOHN: Then you are like other women. How
unfortunate.
PRISCILLA: I am like no woman you ever knew.
JOHN: You arouse my curiosity.
PRISCILLA: Curiosity killed a cat.
JOHN: A cat may look at a--Queen.
PRISCILLA: And a Queen keeps cats for her amusement. They purr
so delightfully when she pets them.
JOHN: I never learned to purr; it must be amusing--for the
Queen.
PRISCILLA: Let me teach you. I'm starting a new class tonight.
JOHN: I'm afraid I couldn't afford to pay the tuition.
PRISCILLA: For a few exceptionally meritorious pupils, various
scholarships and fellowships have been provided.
JOHN: By whom? Old graduates?
PRISCILLA: NO--the institution has been endowed by God--
JOHN: With exceptional beauty--I'm afraid I'm going to kiss you.
NOW.
(They kiss.)
(Ten minutes pass.)
PRISCILLA: Stop smiling in that inane way.
JOHN: I just happened to think of something awfully funny. You
know the reason why I came over here tonight?
PRISCILLA: To see me. I wondered why you hadn't come months
ago.
JOHN: No. It's really awfully funny--but I came here tonight
because Miles Standish made me promise this morning to ask you to
marry him. Miles is an awfully good egg, really
Priscilla.
PRISCILLA: Speak for yourself, John. (They kiss.)
PRISCILLA: Again.
JOHN: Again--and again. Oh Lord, I'm gone.
(An hour later JOHN leaves. As the door closes behind him
PRISCILLA sinks back into her chair before the fireplace; an hour
passes, and she does not move; her aunt returns from the
Bradfords' and after a few ineffectual attempts at conversation
goes to bed alone; the candles gutter, flicker, and die out; the
room is filled of sacred silence. Once more the clock chimes
forth the hour--the hour of fluted peace, of dead desire and epic
love. Oh not for aye, Endymion, mayst thou unfold the purple
panoply of priceless years. She sleeps--PRISCILLA sleeps--and
down the palimpsest of age-old passion the lyres of night breathe
forth their poignant praise. She sleeps--eternal Helen--in the
moonlight of a thousand years; immortal symbol of immortal aeons,
flower of the gods transplanted on a foreign shore, infinitely
rare, infinitely erotic.[1])
[1] For the further adventures of Priscilla, see F. Scott
Fitzgerald's stories in the "Girl With the Yellow Hair" series,
notably "This Side of Paradise," "The Offshore Pirate," "The Ice
Palace," "Head and Shoulders," "Bernice Bobs Her Hair,"
"Benediction" and "The Beautiful and Damned."
CHAPTER FIVE
THE SPIRIT OF '75
LETTERS OF A MINUTE MAN
In the Manner of Ring Lardner
Friend Ethen--
Well Ethen you will be surprised O. K. to hear I & the wife took
a little trip down to Boston last wk. to a T. party & I guess
you are thinking we will be getting the swelt hed over being ast
to a T. party. In Boston.
Well Ethen if you think that why you will be a 100 mi. offen the
track because Ethen I and Prudence sent the kind that gets a
swelt hed over being ast any wares like some of are naybers up
here when they are ast any wares so you see Ethen even if we had
been ast any wares we wouldnt of had no swelt hed. On acct of
being ast any wares.
Well last Thurs. I and Prudence drove old Bessy down to Boston
Bessy is are horse see Ethen which is about 13 mi. from here
Boston I mean Ethen as the crow flys only no crow would ever fly
to Boston if he could help it because all the crows that ever
flew to Boston was shot by them lousie taverin keepers to make
meals out of Ethen I never tast it nothing so rotten in my life
as the meals they give us there & the priceis would knock your I
out. 3 shillings for a peace of stake about as big as your I,
and 4 pence for a cup of coffy. The streets sent the only thing
about Boston thats crook it. Them taverin keepers is crook it to
I mean see Ethen.
After supper I & her was walking a round giving the town the
double O when we seen that Fanny Ewell Hall was all lit up like
Charley Davis on Sat. night & I says to Prudence lets go inside I
think its free and she says I bet you knowed it was free al right
befor you ast me & sure enough it was free only I hadnt knowed it
before only I guess that Prudence knows that when I say a thing
it is generally O. K. Well Fanny Ewell Hall was pack jam full of
people & we couldnt see nothing because there was a cockide stiff
standing right in front of us & jumping up & down & yelling No T.
No T. at the top of his lunges & Prudence says well why dont you
take coffy or milk & for Gods sake stay offen my foot & he turns
to her & says maddam do you want T. & slavery & she says no coffy
& a hot dog just kidding him see Ethen & he says maddam no T.
shall ever land & she says no but my husbend will in a bout 1
min. & I was just going to plank him 1 when the door behint us
bust open & a lot of indyans come in yelling every body down to
Grifins worf there is going to be a T. party only Ethen they
wasnt indyans at all but jest wite men drest up to look like
indyans & I says to a fello those aint indyans & he say no how
did you guess it & I says because I have seen real indyans many a
time & he says to a nother fello say Bill here is a man who says
them sent real indyans & the other fello says gosh I dont believe
it & they laffed only the laff was on them Ethen because they
wasnt real indyans & that is only tipical of how you cant tell
these Boston swelt heds nothing & I guess if they had ever seen a
real indyan they would of known better than to laff. Well I and
Prudence follered the crowd down to Grifins worf & them indyans
which was only wite men drest up clumb onto a ship there & begun
throwing the cargo into Boston harber & I says to a fello what is
in them boxes & he says T. & I says well why are they throwing it
away & he says because they do not want to pay the tacks which is
about as sensable Ethen if I was to rite a lot of letters & then
as fast as I rote I would tare it up because I did not want to
pay for a stamp. Well I says somebody ought to catch he--ll for
this & he says are you a torie & I seen he was trying to kid me &
I says no I am a congregationalis & a loyal subject of king Geo.
Rex & he says o I thought you was a torie & a lot of fellos who
was with him give him the laff because he hadnt been abel to kid
me. Well after a whiles he says the indyans seem to be about
threw & I says yes only they sent indyans & the laff was on him
again & he seen it wasnt no use to try & kid me & Prudence says
come on lets beat it & on the way home I says I bet them Boston
birds will feel small when they find out that those wasnt indyans
at all & she act it like she was mad about something & says well
they cant blame you for not trying to tell them & its a wonder
you didnt hire Fanny Ewell Hall while you was about it & I says o
is it & I might know youd get sore because I was the 1st to find
out about the indyans being wite men in disgised & she says yes I
suppose if somebody was to paint stripes on a cow you would make
a speech about it & say that you had discovered that it wasnt no
tiger & I wish I had been 1 of them indyans tonight because I
would of loved to of beened you with a Tommy Hawk & I says o you
would would you & she seen it wasnt no use to argue with me &
anyway Ethen nobody would be fool enough to paint stripes on a
cow unless maybe they was born in Boston. Well Ethen thats the
way it goes & when you do put one over on the wife they want to
hit you with a Tommy Hawk with best rgds. Ed.
Friend Ethen--
No matter what a married man does in this world he gets in wrong
& I suppose if I was to die tonight Prudence would bawl me out
for not having let her know I was going to do it & just because I
joined the minit men the other eve. she has been acting like as
if I had joined the Baptis Church & I bet you are saying what in
the h--ll is a minit man. Well Ethen I will tell you. The other
night I says to Prudence I think I will drive over to Lexington
to get Bessy shodd. Bessy is are horse see Ethen. Well she says
you will do nothing of the kind because all you want to do in
Lexington is get a snoot ful & if you think I am going to wate up
all night while you get boiled well you have got another guess
coming. She says the last time you had Bessy shodd the naybers
are talking about it yet & I says do you mean because I & Charley
Davis was singing & having a little fun & she says no because
nobody wouldnt call that singing & do you call it a little fun
when you brought Bessy up stares with you to show me how well she
had been shodd at 3 A. M. in the morning answer me that which is
only her way of exagerating things Ethen because we didnt bring
Bessy only as far as the stares & I only did it because Charley
had been drinking a little to much & I didnt want to iritate him
because the way to handel drunks is to not iritate them they are
only worse only you cant tell a woman that & they think the way
to handel drunks is to look him in the eye & say arent you
ashamed of yourselves which only iritates him the moar. Well I
says I am not going to half no horse of mine going a round 1/2
shodd al the time & Prudence says well I am not going to half no
husband of mine going a round 1/2 shot al the time & I says I
will not go near Charley Davis this time because I have lernt my
lesson & she says al right if you will promise to not go near
Charley Davis you can go & when I got to Lexington I thought I
would stop in the taverin a min. just to say hulloh to the boys
because if a fello doesnt stop in the taverin to say hulloh to
the boys who are just as good as he is they are lible to say he
has a swelt hed & is to proud to stop in the taverin to say
hulloh to the boys. Who are just as good as he is. Well I didnt
have any i dear that Charley Davis would be there because I had
told Prudence I wasnt going to go near him & just because I said
that I cant be expect it to sneek into toun like as if I was a
convick can I Ethen. Well the taverin was crowd it & they had
all got a good start & the long & the short of it was that the
1st person I seen was Charley Davis & he says hulloh there pink
whiskers you are just in time to join the minit men which is only
a nicked name he has for me because my whiskers are red brown. No
I says I cannot join anything tonight fellos because I must go
right back home & he says if you dont join the minit men now some
day you wont have no home to go home to & I says what do you mean
I wont have no home to go home to & he says because the Brittish
are going to burn down all the homes of we farmers because we
will not sell them any food but first you had better have a
drink. Well Ethen a fello dont like to be a sissey about taking
1 drink does he & then I says now fellos I must go home & then a
couple of more fellos come in & they said Ed you wont go home
till we have brought you a drink & elect it you to the minit men
will you & I said no but I must go home right after that. Well
then we got to singing & we was going pretty good & after a while
I said now fellos I must go home & Charley Davis says to me Ed
before you go I want to have you shake hands with my friend Tom
Duffy who is here from Boston & he will tell you all about the
minit men & you can join tonight but look out or he will drink
you under the tabel because he is the worst fish in Boston & I
says sure only I have got to be going home soon because you
remember what hapend last time & I would like to see any body
from Boston drink me under the tabel & bet. you & I Ethen if that
fellow is a fish then my grandmother is the prince of whales &
let me tell you what hapend. After we had drank about 4 or 5 I
seen he was getting sort of wite & I says well Boston lets settle
down now to some good steady drinking & he says listen & I says
what & he says listen & I says what & he says do you know my wife
& I says no & he says listen & I says what & he says shes the
best little woman in the world & I says sure & he says what did
you say & I says when & he says you have insult it my wife the
best little woman in the world & he begun to cry & we had only
had a bout 1 qt & wouldnt that knock you for a cockide gool
Ethen, only I guess you arent surprised knowing how much I can
holt without feeling any affects. Well I was feeling pretty good
on acct. of drinking the pride of Boston under the tabel & not
feeling any affects only I was feeling good like a fello naturely
feels & the fellos kind of made a lot of fuss on acct. me
drinking him under the tabel so I couldnt very well of gone home
then & after a while Charley Davis made a speech & well comed me
into the minit men & so I am a minit man Ethen but I cant exackly
explain it to you until I see Charley again because he didnt make
it very clear that night. Well after a while we woke the Boston
fish up & we all went home & I was feeling pretty good on acct.
it being such a nice night & all the stars being out & etc. &
when I got home I said Prudence guess what hapend & she says I
can guess & I says Prudence I have been elect it a minit man &
she says well go on up stares & sleep it off & I says sleep what
off & she says stop talking so loud do you want the naybers to
wake up & I says whos talking loud & she says o go to bed & I
says I am talking in conversational tones & she says well you
must be conversing with somebody in Boston & I says o you mean
that little blond on Beecon St. & Ethen she went a 1,000,000 mi.
up in the air & I seen it wasnt no use to try & tell her that the
reason I was feeling good was on acct. having drank a Boston
swelt hed to sleep without feeling any affects & I bet the next
time I get a chanct I am going to get snooted right because a
fello gets blamed just as much if he doesnt feel the affects as
if he was brought home in a stuper & I was just kidding her about
that blond on Beecon St. Some women dont know when they are well
off Ethen & I bet that guy from Bostons Tom Duffy I mean wife
wishes she was in Prudences shoes instead of her having married a
man what cant holt no more than a qt. without being brought home
in a stuper. Best rgds.
Ed.
Friend Ethen--
Well Ethen this is a funny world & when I joined the minit men
last mo. how was I to know that they called them minit men
because they was lible to get shot any minit. & here I am
riteing to you in a tent outside Boston & any minit a canon ball
is lible to knock me for a continental loop & my house has been
burnt & Prudence is up in Conk Cord with her sister the one who
married that short skate dum bell Collins who has owed me 2 lbs.
for a yr. & 1/2 well Ethen it never ranes but it pores & you can
be glad you are liveing in a nice quiet place like Philly.
Well the other night I and Prudence was sound asleep when I heard
some body banging at the frt. door & I stuck my head out the up
stares window & I says who are you & he says I am Paul Revear & I
says well this is a h--ll of a time to be wakeing a peaceiful man
out of their bed what do you want & he says the Brittish are
comeing & I says o are they well this is the 19 of April not the
1st & I was going down stares to plank him 1 but he had rode away
tow wards Lexington before I had a chanct & as it turned out
after words the joke was on me O. K. Well who is it says Prudence
Charley Davis again because you might as well come back to bed if
it is & I says no it was some Boston smart alick trying to be
funny & I guess they are soar down there on acct. what hapened to
their prize fish up here last mo. & are trying to get even do you
know a Paul Revear & she says yes there was a boy at school named
Paul Revear who was crazy about me was he dark well Ethen if all
the fellos she says has been crazy about her was layed end to end
they would circum navygate the globe twicet & I says no he was
yello & that had her stopt so we went back to sleep only I
couldn't help laffing over the way I had slipt it across. About
Revear being yello. Well along a bout A. M. there was a lot of
gun firing tow wards Lexington & Prudence grabed me & says whets
the shooting for & I says probably that fello Revear who was so
crazy a bout you has got funny oncet to oft ten & it will teach
them Boston doodes a lesson. Well Ethen I was wrong for oncet &
the firing kept getting worse & I hitcht up old Bessy & drove
over to Lexington Bessy is are horse & Ethen there was the h--ll
to pay there because the g-- d d--m Brittish redcotes had marcht
nup from Boston & had fired on the Lexington fellos & Charley
Davis had been shot dead & a lot of the other fellos was wooned
it & they said you had better get your wife to the h--ll out of
your house because the g--d d-- m Brittish redcotes are coming
back & they will burn everything along the rode the ---- I guess
you know what word goes there Ethen & I was so d--m mad at those
g--d d--m Brittish redcotes on acct. shooting Charley Davis dead
that I said give me a gun & show me the ---- who done it & they
says no you had better get your wife to a safe place to go to &
then you can come back because the ---- will be along this way
again the ----. Well I drove as fast as I could back to the farm
& somebody had already told Prudence what had hapend & as soon as
I drove into the yd. she come out with my muskit & hand it it to
me & says dont you worry about me but you kill every d--m redcote
you can see & I says the ----s has killed Charley Davis & she
says I know it & here is all the bullits I could find. Well when
I got back to Lexington the redcotes was just coming along &
Ethen I guess they wont forget that march back to Boston for a
little whiles & I guess I wont either because the ----s burnt
down my house & barn & Prudence is gone to stay with her sister
in Conk Cord & here I am camping in a tent with a lot of other
minit men on the out skirts of Boston & there is a roomer a round
camp that to morrow we are going to move over to Bunker Hill
which is a good name for a Boston Hill Ill say & Ethen if you was
to of told me a mo. ago that I would be fighting to get Boston
away from the Brittish I would of planked you 1 because they
could of had Boston for all I cared. Well Ethen I must go out and
drill some more now & probably we will half to listen to some
Boston bird makeing a speech they are great fellos for speeches
about down with Brittish tirrany & give me liberty or give me
death but if you was to ast me Ethen I would say give me back
that house & barn what those lousie redcotes burnt & when this
excitement is all over what I want to know is Ethen where do I
get off at. Yrs
Ed.
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