The Magic Egg and Other Stories

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You can't take out no insurance at this office.' `All
right, then,' says Andy; `an' if I git stove in by floatin'
boxes, you an' Tom'll have to eat the rest of them salt
crackers.' `Now, boy,' says I,--an' he wasn't much more, bein'
only nineteen year old,--`you'd better keep out o' that hold.
You'll just git yourself smashed. An' as to movin' any of them
there heavy boxes, which must be swelled up as tight as if they
was part of the ship, you might as well try to pull out one of
the Mary Auguster's ribs.' `I'll try it,' says Andy, `fur
to-morrer is Christmas, an' if I kin help it I ain't goin' to be
floatin' atop of a Christmas dinner without eatin' any on it.' I
let him go, fur he was a good swimmer an' diver, an' I did hope
he might root out somethin' or other, fur Christmas is about the
worst day in the year fur men to be starvin' on, an' that's what
we was a-comin' to.

"Well, fur about two hours Andy swum, an' dove, an' come up
blubberin', an' dodged all sorts of floatin' an' pitchin' stuff,
fur the swell was still on. But he couldn't even be so much as
sartin that he'd found the canned vittles. To dive down through
hatchways, an' among broken bulkheads, to hunt fur any partiklar
kind o' boxes under seven foot of sea-water, ain't no easy job.
An' though Andy said he got hold of the end of a box that felt to
him like the big uns he'd noticed as havin' the meat-pies in, he
couldn't move it no more'n if it had been the stump of the
foremast. If we could have pumped the water out of the hold we
could have got at any part of the cargo we wanted, but as it was,
we couldn't even reach the ship's stores, which, of course, must
have been mostly sp'iled anyway, whereas the canned vittles was
just as good as new. The pumps was all smashed or stopped
up, for we tried 'em, but if they hadn't 'a' been we three
couldn't never have pumped out that ship on three biscuit a day,
an' only about two days' rations at that.

"So Andy he come up, so fagged out that it was as much as he
could do to get his clothes on, though they wasn't much, an' then
he stretched himself out under the canvas an' went to sleep, an'
it wasn't long afore he was talkin' about roast turkey an'
cranberry sass, an' punkin-pie, an' sech stuff, most of which we
knowed was under our feet that present minnit. Tom Simmons he
just b'iled over, an' sung out: `Roll him out in the sun an' let
him cook! I can't stand no more of this!' But I wasn't goin' to
have Andy treated no sech way as that, fur if it hadn't been fur
Tom Simmons' wife an' young uns, Andy'd been worth two of him to
anybody who was consid'rin' savin' life. But I give the boy a
good punch in the ribs to stop his dreamin', fur I was as hungry
as Tom was, an' couldn't stand no nonsense about Christmas
dinners.

"It was a little arter noon when Andy woke up, an' he went
outside to stretch himself. In about a minute he give a yell
that made Tom an' me jump. `A sail!' he hollered. `A sail!' An'
you may bet your life, young man, that 'twasn't more'n half a
second afore us two had scuffled out from under that canvas, an'
was standin' by Andy. `There she is!' he shouted, `not a mile to
win'ard.' I give one look, an' then I sings out: `'Tain't a
sail! It's a flag of distress! Can't you see, you land-lubber,
that that's the Stars and Stripes upside down?' `Why, so it is,'
says Andy, with a couple of reefs in the joyfulness of his
voice. An' Tom he began to growl as if somebody had cheated
him out of half a year's wages.

"The flag that we saw was on the hull of a steamer that had
been driftin' down on us while we was sittin' under our canvas.
It was plain to see she'd been caught in the typhoon, too, fur
there wasn't a mast or a smoke-stack on her. But her hull was
high enough out of the water to catch what wind there was, while
we was so low sunk that we didn't make no way at all. There was
people aboard, and they saw us, an' waved their hats an' arms,
an' Andy an' me waved ours; but all we could do was to wait till
they drifted nearer, fur we hadn't no boats to go to 'em if we'd
wanted to.

"`I'd like to know what good that old hulk is to us,' says
Tom Simmons. `She can't take us off.' It did look to me
somethin' like the blind leadin' the blind. But Andy he sings
out: `We'd be better off aboard of her, fur she ain't water-
logged, an', more'n that, I don't s'pose her stores are all
soaked up in salt water.' There was some sense in that, an' when
the steamer had got to within half a mile of us, we was glad to
see a boat put out from her with three men in it. It was a queer
boat, very low an' flat, an' not like any ship's boat I ever see.

But the two fellers at the oars pulled stiddy, an' pretty soon
the boat was 'longside of us, an' the three men on our deck. One
of 'em was the first mate of the other wreck, an' when he found
out what was the matter with us, he spun his yarn, which was a
longer one than ours. His vessel was the Water Crescent,
nine hundred tons, from 'Frisco to Melbourne, an' they had sailed
about six weeks afore we did. They was about two weeks out
when some of their machinery broke down, an' when they got it
patched up it broke ag'in, worse than afore, so that they
couldn't do nothin' with it. They kep' along under sail for
about a month, makin' mighty poor headway till the typhoon struck
'em, an' that cleaned their decks off about as slick as it did
ours, but their hatches wasn't blowed off, an' they didn't ship
no water wuth mentionin', an' the crew havin' kep' below, none of
'em was lost. But now they was clean out of provisions an'
water, havin' been short when the breakdown happened, fur they
had sold all the stores they could spare to a French brig in
distress that they overhauled when about a week out. When they
sighted us they felt pretty sure they'd git some provisions out
of us. But when I told the mate what a fix we was in his jaw
dropped till his face was as long as one of Andy's hands.
Howsomdever, he said he'd send the boat back fur as many men as
it could bring over, an' see if they couldn't git up some of our
stores. Even if they was soaked with salt water, they'd be
better than nothin'. Part of the cargo of the Water Crescent
was tools an, things fur some railway contractors out in
Australier, an' the mate told the men to bring over some of them
irons that might be used to fish out the stores. All their
ship's boats had been blowed away, an' the one they had was a
kind of shore boat for fresh water, that had been shipped as part
of the cargo, an' stowed below. It couldn't stand no kind of a
sea, but there wasn't nothin' but a swell on, an' when it come
back it had the cap'n in it, an' five men, besides a lot of
chains an' tools.

"Them fellers an' us worked pretty nigh the rest of the
day, an' we got out a couple of bar'ls of water, which was all
right, havin' been tight bunged, an' a lot of sea-biscuit, all
soaked an sloppy, but we only got a half-bar'l of meat, though
three or four of the men stripped an' dove fur more'n an hour.
We cut up some of the meat an' eat it raw, an' the cap'n sent
some over to the other wreck, which had drifted past us to
leeward, an' would have gone clean away from us if the cap'n
hadn't had a line got out an' made us fast to it while we was a-
workin' at the stores.

"That night the cap'n took us three, as well as the
provisions we'd got out, on board his hull, where the
'commodations was consid'able better than they was on the half-
sunk Mary Auguster. An' afore we turned in he took me aft
an' had a talk with me as commandin' off'cer of my vessel. `That
wreck o' yourn,' says he, `has got a vallyble cargo in it, which
isn't sp'iled by bein' under water. Now, if you could get that
cargo into port it would put a lot of money in your pocket, fur
the owners couldn't git out of payin' you fur takin' charge of it
an' havin' it brung in. Now I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll
lie by you, an' I've got carpenters aboard that'll put your pumps
in order, an' I'll set my men to work to pump out your vessel.
An' then, when she's afloat all right, I'll go to work ag'in at
my vessel--which I didn't s'pose there was any use o' doin', but
whilst I was huntin' round amongst our cargo to-day I found that
some of the machinery we carried might be worked up so's to take
the place of what is broke in our engine. We've got a forge
aboard, an' I believe we can make these pieces of machinery fit,
an' git goin' ag'in. Then I'll tow you into Sydney, an' we'll
divide the salvage money. I won't git nothin' fur savin' my
vessel, coz that's my business, but you wasn't cap'n o' yourn,
an' took charge of her a-purpose to save her, which is another
thing.'

"I wasn't at all sure that I didn't take charge of the
Mary Auguster to save myself an' not the vessel, but I didn't
mention that, an' asked the cap'n how he expected to live all
this time.

"`Oh, we kin git at your stores easy enough,' says he, when
the water's pumped out.' `They'll be mostly sp'iled,' says I.
`That don't matter' says he. `Men'll eat anything when they
can't git nothin' else.' An' with that he left me to think it
over.

"I must say, young man, an' you kin b'lieve me if you know
anything about sech things, that the idee of a pile of money was
mighty temptin' to a feller like me, who had a girl at home ready
to marry him, and who would like nothin' better'n to have a
little house of his own, an' a little vessel of his own, an' give
up the other side of the world altogether. But while I was goin'
over all this in my mind, an' wonderin' if the cap'n ever could
git us into port, along comes Andy Boyle, an' sits down beside
me. `It drives me pretty nigh crazy,' says he, `to think that
to-morrer's Christmas, an' we've got to feed on that sloppy stuff
we fished out of our stores, an' not much of it, nuther, while
there's all that roast turkey an' plum-puddin' an' mince-pie a-
floatin' out there just afore our eyes, an' we can't have none of
it.' `You hadn't oughter think so much about eatin', Andy,' says
I,`but if I was talkin' about them things I wouldn't leave out
canned peaches. By George! On a hot Christmas like this is
goin' to be, I'd be the jolliest Jack on the ocean if I could git
at that canned fruit.' `Well, there's a way,' says Andy,
`that we might git some of 'em. A part of the cargo of this ship
is stuff far blastin' rocks--ca'tridges, 'lectric bat'ries, an'
that sort of thing; an' there's a man aboard who's goin' out to
take charge of 'em. I've been talkin' to this bat'ry man, an'
I've made up my mind it'll be easy enough to lower a little
ca'tridge down among our cargo an' blow out a part of it.' `What
'u'd be the good of it,' says I, `blowed into chips?' `It might
smash some,' says he, `but others would be only loosened, an'
they'd float up to the top, where we could git 'em, specially
them as was packed with pies, which must be pretty light.' `Git
out, Andy,' says I, `with all that stuff!' An' he got out.

"But the idees he'd put into my head didn't git out, an' as I
laid on my back on the deck, lookin' up at the stars, they
sometimes seemed to put themselves into the shape of a little
house, with a little woman cookin' at the kitchin fire, an' a
little schooner layin' at anchor just off shore. An' then ag'in
they'd hump themselves up till they looked like a lot of new tin
cans with their tops off, an' all kinds of good things to eat
inside, specially canned peaches--the big white kind, soft an'
cool, each one split in half, with a holler in the middle filled
with juice. By George, sir! the very thought of a tin can like
that made me beat my heels ag'in the deck. I'd been mighty
hungry, an' had eat a lot of salt pork, wet an' raw, an' now the
very idee of it, even cooked, turned my stomach. I looked up to
the stars ag'in, an' the little house an' the little schooner was
clean gone, an' the whole sky was filled with nothin' but bright
new tin cans.

"In the mornin' Andy he come to me ag'in. `Have you made up
your mind,' says he, `about gittin' some of them good things
fur Christmas dinner?' `Confound you!' says I, `you talk as if
all we had to do was to go an' git 'em.' `An' that's what I
b'lieve we kin do,' says he, `with the help of that bat'ry man.'
`Yes,' says I, `an' blow a lot of the cargo into flinders, an'
damage the Mary Auguster so's she couldn't never be took into
port.' An' then I told him what the cap'n had said to me, an'
what I was goin' to do with the money. `A little ca'tridge,'
says Andy, `would do all we want, an' wouldn't hurt the vessel,
nuther. Besides that, I don't b'lieve what this cap'n says about
tinkerin' up his engine. 'Tain't likely he'll ever git her
runnin' ag'in, nor pump out the Mary Auguster, nuther. If I
was you I'd a durned sight ruther have a Christmas dinner in hand
than a house an' wife in the bush.' `I ain't thinkin' o'
marryin' a girl in Australier,' says I. An' Andy he grinned, an'
said I wouldn't marry nobody if I had to live on sp'iled vittles
till I got her.

"A little arter that I went to the cap'n an' I told him about
Andy's idee, but he was down on it. `It's your vessel, an' not
mine,' says he, `an' if you want to try to git a dinner out of
her I'll not stand in your way. But it's my 'pinion you'll just
damage the ship, an' do nothin'.' Howsomdever, I talked to the
bat'ry man about it, an' he thought it could be done, an' not
hurt the ship, nuther. The men was all in favor of it, fur none
of 'em had forgot it was Christmas day. But Tom Simmons he was
ag'in' it strong, fur he was thinkin' he'd git some of the money
if we got the Mary Auguster into port. He was a selfish-
minded man, was Tom, but it was his nater, an' I s'pose he
couldn't help it.

"Well, it wasn't long afore I began to feel pretty empty an'
mean, an' if I'd wanted any of the prog we got out the day afore,
I couldn't have found much, fur the men had eat it up nearly all
in the night. An' so I just made up my mind without any more
foolin', an' me an' Andy Boyle an' the bat'ry man, with some
ca'tridges an' a coil of wire, got into the little shore boat,
an' pulled over to the Mary Auguster. There we lowered a
small ca'tridge down the main hatchway, an' let it rest down
among the cargo. Then we rowed back to the steamer, uncoilin'
the wire as. we went. The bat'ry man clumb up on deck, an' fixed
his wire to a 'lectric machine, which he'd got all ready afore we
started. Andy an' me didn't git out of the boat. We had too
much sense fur that, with all them hungry fellers waitin' to jump
in her. But we just pushed a little off, an' sot waitin', with
our mouths awaterin', fur him to touch her off. He seemed to be
a long time about it, but at last he did it, an' that instant
there was a bang on board the Mary Auguster that made my
heart jump. Andy an' me pulled fur her like mad, the others a-
hollerin' arter us, an' we was on deck in no time. The deck was
all covered with the water that had been throwed up. But I tell
you, sir, that we poked an' fished about, an' Andy stripped an'
went down an' swum all round, an' we couldn't find one floatin'
box of canned goods. There was a lot of splinters, but where
they come from we didn't know. By this time my dander was up,
an' I just pitched around savage. That little ca'tridge wasn't
no good, an' I didn't intend to stand any more foolin'. We just
rowed back to the other wreck, an' I called to the ba'try man to
come down, an' bring some bigger ca'tridges with him, fur if
we was goin' to do anything we might as well do it right. So he
got down with a package of bigger ones, an' jumped into the boat.

The cap'n he called out to us to be keerful, an' Tom Simmons
leaned over the rail an' swored; but I didn't pay no 'tention to
nuther of 'em, an' we pulled away.

"When I got aboard the Mary Auguster, I says to the
bat'ry man: `We don't want no nonsense this time, an' I want you
to put in enough ca'tridges to heave up somethin' that'll do fur
a Christmas dinner. I don't know how the cargo is stored, but
you kin put one big ca'tridge 'midship, another for'ard, an'
another aft, an' one or nuther of 'em oughter fetch up
somethin'.' Well, we got the three ca'tridges into place. They
was a good deal bigger than the one we fust used, an' we j'ined
'em all to one wire, an' then we rowed back, carryin' the long
wire with us. When we reached the steamer, me an' Andy was a-
goin' to stay in the boat as we did afore, but the cap'n sung out
that he wouldn't allow the bat'ry to be touched off till we come
aboard. `Ther's got to be fair play,' says he. `It's your
vittles, but it's my side that's doin' the work. After we've
blasted her this time you two can go in the boat an' see what
there is to git hold of, but two of my men must go along.' So me
an' Andy had to go on deck, an' two big fellers was detailed to
go with us in the little boat when the time come, an' then the
bat'ry man he teched her off.

"Well, sir, the pop that followed that tech was somethin' to
remember. It shuck the water, it shuck the air, an' it shuck the
hull we was on. A reg'lar cloud of smoke an' flyin' bits of
things rose up out of the Mary Auguster; an' when that smoke
cleared away, an' the water was all b'ilin' with the splash
of various-sized hunks that come rainin' down from the sky, what
was left of the Mary Auguster was sprinkled over the sea like
a wooden carpet fur water-birds to walk on.

"Some of the men sung out one thing, an' some another, an' I
could hear Tom Simmons swear; but Andy an' me said never a word,
but scuttled down into the boat, follered close by the two men
who was to go with us. Then we rowed like devils fur the lot of
stuff that was bobbin' about on the water, out where the Mary
Auguster had been. In we went among the floatin' spars and
ship's timbers, I keepin' the things off with an oar, the two men
rowin', an' Andy in the bow.

"Suddenly Andy give a yell, an' then he reached himself
for'ard with sech a bounce that I thought he'd go overboard. But
up he come in a minnit, his two 'leven-inch hands gripped round a
box. He sot down in the bottom of the boat with the box on his
lap an' his eyes screwed on some letters that was stamped on one
end. `Pidjin-pies!' he sings out. "Tain't turkeys, nor 'tain't
cranberries but, by the Lord Harry, it's Christmas pies all the
same!' After that Andy didn't do no more work, but sot holdin'
that box as if it had been his fust baby. But we kep' pushin' on
to see what else there was. It's my 'pinion that the biggest
part of that bark's cargo was blowed into mince-meat, an' the
most of the rest of it was so heavy that it sunk. But it wasn't
all busted up, an' it didn't all sink. There was a big piece of
wreck with a lot of boxes stove into the timbers, and some of
these had in 'em beef ready b'iled an' packed into cans, an'
there was other kinds of meat, an' dif'rent sorts of
vegetables, an' one box of turtle soup. I looked at every one of
'em as we took 'em in, an' when we got the little boat pretty
well loaded I wanted to still keep on searchin'; but the men they
said that shore boat 'u'd sink if we took in any more cargo, an'
so we put back, I feelin' glummer'n I oughter felt, fur I had
begun to be afeared that canned fruit, sech as peaches, was
heavy, an' li'ble to sink.

"As soon as we had got our boxes aboard, four fresh men put
out in the boat, an' after a while they come back with another
load. An' I was mighty keerful to read the names on all the
boxes. Some was meat-pies, an' some was salmon, an' some was
potted herrin's, an' some was lobsters. But nary a thing could I
see that ever had growed on a tree.

"Well, sir, there was three loads brought in altogether, an'
the Christmas dinner we had on the for'ard deck of that steamer's
hull was about the jolliest one that was ever seen of a hot day
aboard of a wreck in the Pacific Ocean. The cap'n kept good
order, an' when all was ready the tops was jerked off the boxes,
and each man grabbed a can an' opened it with his knife. When he
had cleaned it out, he tuk another without doin' much questionin'
as to the bill of fare. Whether anybody got pidjin-pie 'cept
Andy, I can't say, but the way we piled in Delmoniker prog would
'a' made people open their eyes as was eatin' their Christmas
dinners on shore that day. Some of the things would 'a' been
better cooked a little more, or het up, but we was too fearful
hungry to wait fur that, an' they was tiptop as they was.

"The cap'n went out afterwards, an' towed in a couple of
bar'ls of flour that was only part soaked through, an' he got
some other plain prog that would do fur future use. But none of
us give our minds to stuff like this arter the glorious Christmas
dinner that we'd quarried out of the Mary Auguster. Every
man that wasn't on duty went below and turned in fur a snooze--
all 'cept me, an' I didn't feel just altogether satisfied. To be
sure, I'd had an A1 dinner, an', though a little mixed, I'd never
eat a jollier one on any Christmas that I kin look back at. But,
fur all that, there was a hanker inside o' me. I hadn't got all
I'd laid out to git when we teched off the Mary Auguster.
The day was blazin' hot, an' a lot of the things I'd eat was
pretty peppery. `Now,' thinks I, `if there had been just one can
o' peaches sech as I seen shinin' in the stars last night!' An'
just then, as I was walkin' aft, all by myself, I seed lodged on
the stump of the mizzenmast a box with one corner druv down among
the splinters. It was half split open, an' I could see the tin
cans shinin' through the crack. I give one jump at it, an'
wrenched the side off. On the top of the first can I seed was a
picture of a big white peach with green leaves. That box had
been blowed up so high that if it had come down anywhere 'cept
among them splinters it would 'a' smashed itself to flinders, or
killed somebody. So fur as I know, it was the only thing that
fell nigh us, an' by George, sir, I got it! When I had finished
a can of 'em I hunted up Andy, an' then we went aft an' eat some
more. `Well,' says Andy, as we was a-eatin', `how d'ye feel now
about blowin' up your wife, an' your house, an' that little
schooner you was goin' to own?'

"`Andy,' says I, `this is the joyfulest Christmas I've
had yit, an' if I was to live till twenty hundred I don't b'lieve
I'd have no joyfuler, with things comin' in so pat; so don't you
throw no shadders.'

"`Shadders!' says Andy. `That ain't me. I leave that sort
of thing fur Tom Simmons.'

"`Shadders is cool,' says I, `an' I kin go to sleep under all
he throws.'

"Well, sir," continued old Silas, putting his hand on the
tiller and turning his face seaward, "if Tom Simmons had kept
command of that wreck, we all would 'a' laid there an' waited an'
waited till some of us was starved, an' the others got nothin'
fur it, fur the cap'n never mended his engine, an' it wasn't
more'n a week afore we was took off, an' then it was by a sailin'
vessel, which left the hull of the Water Crescent behind her,
just as she would 'a' had to leave the Mary Auguster if that
jolly old Christmas wreck had been there.

"An' now, sir," said Silas, "d'ye see that stretch o' little
ripples over yander, lookin' as if it was a lot o' herrin'
turnin' over to dry their sides? Do you know what that is?
That's the supper wind. That means coffee, an' hot cakes, an' a
bit of br'iled fish, an' pertaters, an' p'r'aps, if the old woman
feels in a partiklar good humor, some canned peaches--big white
uns, cut in half, with a holler place in the middle filled with
cool, sweet juice."

MY WELL AND WHAT CAME
OUT OF IT

Early in my married life I bought a small country estate which my
wife and I looked upon as a paradise. After enjoying its delight
for a little more than a year our souls were saddened by the
discovery that our Eden contained a serpent. This was an
insufficient water-supply.

It had been a rainy season when we first went there, and for
a long time our cisterns gave us full aqueous satisfaction, but
early this year a drought had set in, and we were obliged to be
exceedingly careful of our water.

It was quite natural that the scarcity of water for domestic
purposes should affect my wife much more than it did me, and
perceiving the discontent which was growing in her mind, I
determined to dig a well. The very next day I began to look for
a well-digger. Such an individual was not easy to find, for in
the region in which I lived wells had become unfashionable; but I
determined to persevere in my search, and in about a week I found
a well-digger.

He was a man of somewhat rough exterior, but of an
ingratiating turn of mind. It was easy to see that it was his
earnest desire to serve me.

"And now, then," said he, when we had had a little
conversation about terms, "the first thing to do is to find out
where there is water. Have you a peach-tree on the place?" We
walked to such a tree, and he cut therefrom a forked twig.

"I thought," said I, "that divining-rods were always of hazel
wood."

"A peach twig will do quite as well," said he, and I have
since found that he was right. Divining-rods of peach will turn
and find water quite as well as those of hazel or any other kind
of wood.

He took an end of the twig in each hand, and, with the point
projecting in front of him, he slowly walked along over the grass
in my little orchard. Presently the point of the twig seemed to
bend itself downward toward the ground.

"There," said he, stopping, "you will find water here."

"I do not want a well here," said I. "This is at the bottom
of a hill, and my barn-yard is at the top. Besides, it is too
far from the house."

"Very good," said he. "We will try somewhere else."

His rod turned at several other places, but I had objections
to all of them. A sanitary engineer had once visited me, and he
had given me a great deal of advice about drainage, and I knew
what to avoid.

We crossed the ridge of the hill into the low ground on the
other side. Here were no buildings, nothing which would
interfere with the purity of a well. My well-digger walked
slowly over the ground with his divining-rod. Very soon he
exclaimed: "Here is water!" And picking up a stick, he
sharpened one end of it and drove it into the ground. Then
he took a string from his pocket, and making a loop in one end,
he put it over the stick.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I am going to make a circle four feet in diameter," he said.
"We have to dig the well as wide as that, you know."

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