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Edgar Rice Burroughs - "The Mucker by Edgar Rice Burroughs"

Frank B. Linderman - "Indian Why Stories"

Bret Harte - "Condensed Novels"

Carry A. Nation - "Project Gutenberg surfs with a modem donated by Supra."

The Emerald City of Oz

L >> L. Frank Baum >> The Emerald City of Oz




"The Land of Oz is ruled by a namby-pamby girl who is disgustingly
kind and good," he continued. "Her people are all happy and contented
and have no care or worries whatever."

"Go on!" growled the Grand Gallipoot.

"Once the Nome King enslaved the Royal Family of Ev--another
goody-goody lot that we detest," said the General. "But Ozma
interfered, although it was none of her business, and marched her army
against us. With her was a Kansas girl named Dorothy, and a Yellow
Hen, and they marched directly into the Nome King's cavern. There
they liberated our slaves from Ev and stole King Roquat's Magic Belt,
which they carried away with them. So now our King is making a tunnel
under the deadly desert, so we can march through it to the Emerald
City. When we get there we mean to conquer and destroy all the land
and recapture the Magic Belt."

Again he paused, and again the Grand Gallipoot growled:

"Go on!"

Guph tried to think what to say next, and a happy thought soon
occurred to him.

"We want you to help us in this conquest," he announced, "for we need
the mighty aid of the Growleywogs in order to make sure that we shall
not be defeated. You are the strongest people in all the world, and
you hate good and happy creatures as much as we Nomes do. I am sure
it will be a real pleasure to you to tear down the beautiful Emerald
City, and in return for your valuable assistance we will allow you to
bring back to your country ten thousand people of Oz, to be your slaves."

"Twenty thousand!" growled the Grand Gallipoot.

"All right, we promise you twenty thousand," agreed the General.

The Gallipoot made a signal and at once his attendants picked up
General Guph and carried him away to a prison, where the jailer amused
himself by sticking pins in the round fat body of the old Nome, to see
him jump and hear him yell.

But while this was going on the Grand Gallipoot was talking with his
counselors, who were the most important officials of the Growleywogs.
When he had stated to them the proposition of the Nome King, he said:

"My advice is to offer to help them. Then, when we have conquered the
Land of Oz, we will take not only our twenty thousand prisoners but
all the gold and jewels we want."

"Let us take the Magic Belt, too," suggested one counselor.

"And rob the Nome King and make him our slave," said another.

"That is a good idea," declared the Grand Gallipoot. "I'd like King
Roquat for my own slave. He could black my boots and bring me my
porridge every morning while I am in bed."

"There is a famous Scarecrow in Oz. I'll take him for my slave," said
a counselor.

"I'll take Tiktok, the machine man," said another.

"Give me the Tin Woodman," said a third.

They went on for some time, dividing up the people and the treasure of
Oz in advance of the conquest. For they had no doubt at all that they
would be able to destroy Ozma's domain. Were they not the strongest
people in all the world?

"The deadly desert has kept us out of Oz before," remarked the Grand
Gallipoot, "but now that the Nome King is building a tunnel we shall
get into the Emerald City very easily. So let us send the little fat
General back to his King with our promise to assist him. We will not
say that we intend to conquer the Nomes after we have conquered Oz,
but we will do so, just the same."

This plan being agreed upon, they all went home to dinner, leaving
General Guph still in prison. The Nome had no idea that he had
succeeded in his mission, for finding himself in prison he feared the
Growleywogs intended to put him to death.

By this time the jailer had tired of sticking pins in the General, and
was amusing himself by carefully pulling the Nome's whiskers out by
the roots, one at a time. This enjoyment was interrupted by the Grand
Gallipoot sending for the prisoner.

"Wait a few hours," begged the jailer. "I haven't pulled out a
quarter of his whiskers yet."

"If you keep the Grand Gallipoot waiting, he'll break your back,"
declared the messenger.

"Perhaps you're right," sighed the jailer. "Take the prisoner away,
if you will, but I advise you to kick him at every step he takes. It
will be good fun, for he is as soft as a ripe peach."

So Guph was led away to the royal castle, where the Grand Gallipoot
told him that the Growleywogs had decided to assist the Nomes in
conquering the Land of Oz.

"Whenever you are ready," he added, "send me word and I will march
with eighteen thousand of my most powerful warriors to your aid."

Guph was so delighted that he forgot all the smarting caused by the
pins and the pulling of whiskers. He did not even complain of the
treatment he had received, but thanked the Grand Gallipoot and hurried
away upon his journey.

He had now secured the assistance of the Whimsies and the Growleywogs;
but his success made him long for still more allies. His own life
depended upon his conquering Oz, and he said to himself:

"I'll take no chances. I'll be certain of success. Then, when Oz is
destroyed, perhaps I shall be a greater man than old Roquat, and I can
throw him away and be King of the Nomes myself. Why not? The
Whimsies are stronger than the Nomes, and they also are my friends.
There are some people still stronger than the Growleywogs, and if I
can but induce them to aid me I shall have nothing more to fear."



9. How the Wogglebug Taught Athletics


It did not take Dorothy long to establish herself in her new home, for
she knew the people and the manners and customs of the Emerald City
just as well as she knew the old Kansas farm.

But Uncle Henry and Aunt Em had some trouble in getting used to the
finery and pomp and ceremony of Ozma's palace, and felt uneasy because
they were obliged to be "dressed up" all the time. Yet every one was
very courteous and kind to them and endeavored to make them happy.
Ozma, especially, made much of Dorothy's relatives, for her little
friend's sake, and she well knew that the awkwardness and strangeness
of their new mode of life would all wear off in time.

The old people were chiefly troubled by the fact that there was no
work for them to do.

"Ev'ry day is like Sunday, now," declared Aunt Em, solemnly, "and I
can't say I like it. If they'd only let me do up the dishes after
meals, or even sweep an' dust my own rooms, I'd be a deal happier.
Henry don't know what to do with himself either, and once when he
stole out an' fed the chickens Billina scolded him for letting 'em
eat between meals. I never knew before what a hardship it is to be
rich and have everything you want."

These complaints began to worry Dorothy; so she had a long talk with
Ozma upon the subject.

"I see I must find them something to do," said the girlish Ruler of
Oz, seriously. "I have been watching your uncle and aunt, and I
believe they will be more contented if occupied with some light tasks.
While I am considering this matter, Dorothy, you might make a trip
with them through the Land of Oz, visiting some of the odd corners and
introducing your relatives to some of our curious people."

"Oh, that would be fine!" exclaimed Dorothy, eagerly.

"I will give you an escort befitting your rank as a Princess,"
continued Ozma; "and you may go to some of the places you have not yet
visited yourself, as well as some others that you know. I will mark
out a plan of the trip for you and have everything in readiness for
you to start to-morrow morning. Take your time, dear, and be gone as
long as you wish. By the time you return I shall have found some
occupation for Uncle Henry and Aunt Em that will keep them from being
restless and dissatisfied."

Dorothy thanked her good friend and kissed the lovely Ruler gratefully.
Then she ran to tell the joyful news to her uncle and aunt.

Next morning, after breakfast, everything was found ready for
their departure.

The escort included Omby Amby, the Captain General of Ozma's army,
which consisted merely of twenty-seven officers besides the Captain
General. Once Omby Amby had been a private soldier--the only private
in the army--but as there was never any fighting to do Ozma saw no
need of a private, so she made Omby Amby the highest officer of them
all. He was very tall and slim and wore a gay uniform and a fierce
mustache. Yet the mustache was the only fierce thing about Omby Amby,
whose nature was as gentle as that of a child.

The wonderful Wizard had asked to join the party, and with him came
his friend the Shaggy Man, who was shaggy but not ragged, being
dressed in fine silks with satin shags and bobtails. The Shaggy Man
had shaggy whiskers and hair, but a sweet disposition and a soft,
pleasant voice.

There was an open wagon, with three seats for the passengers, and the
wagon was drawn by the famous wooden Sawhorse which had once been
brought to life by Ozma by means of a magic powder. The Sawhorse wore
wooden shoes to keep his wooden legs from wearing away, and he was
strong and swift. As this curious creature was Ozma's own favorite
steed, and very popular with all the people of the Emerald City,
Dorothy knew that she had been highly favored by being permitted to
use the Sawhorse on her journey.

In the front seat of the wagon sat Dorothy and the Wizard. Uncle
Henry and Aunt Em sat in the next seat and the Shaggy Man and Omby
Amby in the third seat. Of course Toto was with the party, curled up
at Dorothy's feet, and just as they were about to start, Billina came
fluttering along the path and begged to be taken with them. Dorothy
readily agreed, so the Yellow Hen flew up and perched herself upon the
dashboard. She wore her pearl necklace and three bracelets upon each
leg, in honor of the occasion.

Dorothy kissed Ozma good-bye, and all the people standing around waved
their handkerchiefs, and the band in an upper balcony struck up a
military march. Then the Wizard clucked to the Sawhorse and said:
"Gid-dap!" and the wooden animal pranced away and drew behind him the
big red wagon and all the passengers, without any effort at all. A
servant threw open a gate of the palace enclosure, that they might
pass out; and so, with music and shouts following them, the journey
was begun.

"It's almost like a circus," said Aunt Em, proudly. "I can't help
feelin' high an' mighty in this kind of a turn-out."

Indeed, as they passed down the street, all the people cheered them
lustily, and the Shaggy Man and the Wizard and the Captain General all
took off their hats and bowed politely in acknowledgment.

When they came to the great wall of the Emerald City, the gates were
opened by the Guardian who always tended them. Over the gateway hung
a dull-colored metal magnet shaped like a horse-shoe, placed against a
shield of polished gold.

"That," said the Shaggy Man, impressively, "is the wonderful Love
Magnet. I brought it to the Emerald City myself, and all who pass
beneath this gateway are both loving and beloved."

"It's a fine thing," declared Aunt Em, admiringly. "If we'd had it
in Kansas I guess the man who held a mortgage on the farm wouldn't
have turned us out."

"Then I'm glad we didn't have it," returned Uncle Henry. "I like Oz
better than Kansas, even; an' this little wood Sawhorse beats all the
critters I ever saw. He don't have to be curried, or fed, or watered,
an' he's strong as an ox. Can he talk, Dorothy?"

"Yes, Uncle," replied the child. "But the Sawhorse never says much.
He told me once that he can't talk and think at the same time, so he
prefers to think."

"Which is very sensible," declared the Wizard, nodding approvingly.
"Which way do we go, Dorothy?"

"Straight ahead into the Quadling Country," she answered. "I've got a
letter of interduction to Miss Cuttenclip."

"Oh!" exclaimed the Wizard, much interested. "Are we going there?
Then I'm glad I came, for I've always wanted to meet the Cuttenclips."

"Who are they?" inquired Aunt Em.

"Wait till we get there," replied Dorothy, with a laugh; "then you'll
see for yourself. I've never seen the Cuttenclips, you know, so I
can't 'zactly 'splain 'em to you."

Once free of the Emerald City the Sawhorse dashed away at tremendous
speed. Indeed, he went so fast that Aunt Em had hard work to catch
her breath, and Uncle Henry held fast to the seat of the red wagon.

"Gently--gently, my boy!" called the Wizard, and at this the Sawhorse
slackened his speed.

"What's wrong?" asked the animal, slightly turning his wooden head to
look at the party with one eye, which was a knot of wood.

"Why, we wish to admire the scenery, that's all," answered the Wizard.

"Some of your passengers," added the Shaggy Man, "have never been out
of the Emerald City before, and the country is all new to them."

"If you go too fast you'll spoil all the fun," said Dorothy.
"There's no hurry."

"Very well; it is all the same to me," observed the Sawhorse;
and after that he went at a more moderate pace.

Uncle Henry was astonished.

"How can a wooden thing be so intelligent?" he asked.

"Why, I gave him some sawdust brains the last time I fitted his head
with new ears," explained the Wizard. "The sawdust was made from hard
knots, and now the Sawhorse is able to think out any knotty problem he
meets with."

"I see," said Uncle Henry.

"I don't," remarked Aunt Em; but no one paid any attention
to this statement.

Before long they came to a stately building that stood upon a green
plain with handsome shade trees grouped here and there.

"What is that?" asked Uncle Henry.

"That," replied the Wizard, "is the Royal Athletic College of Oz,
which is directed by Professor H. M. Wogglebug, T.E."

"Let's stop and make a call," suggested Dorothy.

So the Sawhorse drew up in front of the great building and they were
met at the door by the learned Wogglebug himself. He seemed fully as
tall as the Wizard, and was dressed in a red and white checked vest
and a blue swallow-tailed coat, and had yellow knee breeches and purple
silk stockings upon his slender legs. A tall hat was jauntily set
upon his head and he wore spectacles over his big bright eyes.

"Welcome, Dorothy," said the Wogglebug; "and welcome to all your friends.
We are indeed pleased to receive you at this great Temple of Learning."

"I thought it was an Athletic College," said the Shaggy Man.

"It is, my dear sir," answered the Wogglebug, proudly. "Here it
is that we teach the youth of our great land scientific College
Athletics--in all their purity."

"Don't you teach them anything else?" asked Dorothy. "Don't they get
any reading, writing and 'rithmetic?"

"Oh, yes; of course. They get all those, and more," returned the
Professor. "But such things occupy little of their time. Please
follow me and I will show you how my scholars are usually occupied.
This is a class hour and they are all busy."

They followed him to a big field back of the college building, where
several hundred young Ozites were at their classes. In one place they
played football, in another baseball. Some played tennis, some golf;
some were swimming in a big pool. Upon a river which wound through
the grounds several crews in racing boats were rowing with great
enthusiasm. Other groups of students played basketball and cricket,
while in one place a ring was roped in to permit boxing and wrestling
by the energetic youths. All the collegians seemed busy and there
was much laughter and shouting.

"This college," said Professor Wogglebug, complacently, "is a great
success. Its educational value is undisputed, and we are turning out
many great and valuable citizens every year."

"But when do they study?" asked Dorothy.

"Study?" said the Wogglebug, looking perplexed at the question.

"Yes; when do they get their 'rithmetic, and jogerfy, and such things?"

"Oh, they take doses of those every night and morning," was the reply.

"What do you mean by doses?" Dorothy inquired, wonderingly.

"Why, we use the newly invented School Pills, made by your friend the
Wizard. These pills we have found to be very effective, and they save
a lot of time. Please step this way and I will show you our
Laboratory of Learning."

He led them to a room in the building where many large bottles were
standing in rows upon shelves.

"These are the Algebra Pills," said the Professor, taking down one of
the bottles. "One at night, on retiring, is equal to four hours of
study. Here are the Geography Pills--one at night and one in the
morning. In this next bottle are the Latin Pills--one three times a
day. Then we have the Grammar Pills--one before each meal--and the
Spelling Pills, which are taken whenever needed."

"Your scholars must have to take a lot of pills," remarked Dorothy,
thoughtfully. "How do they take 'em, in applesauce?"

"No, my dear. They are sugar-coated and are quickly and easily
swallowed. I believe the students would rather take the pills than
study, and certainly the pills are a more effective method. You see,
until these School Pills were invented we wasted a lot of time in
study that may now be better employed in practicing athletics."

"Seems to me the pills are a good thing," said Omby Amby,
who remembered how it used to make his head ache as a boy
to study arithmetic.

"They are, sir," declared the Wogglebug, earnestly. "They give us an
advantage over all other colleges, because at no loss of time our boys
become thoroughly conversant with Greek and Latin, Mathematics and
Geography, Grammar and Literature. You see they are never obliged to
interrupt their games to acquire the lesser branches of learning."

"It's a great invention, I'm sure," said Dorothy, looking admiringly
at the Wizard, who blushed modestly at this praise.

"We live in an age of progress," announced Professor Wogglebug,
pompously. "It is easier to swallow knowledge than to acquire it
laboriously from books. Is it not so, my friends?"

"Some folks can swallow anything," said Aunt Em, "but to me this seems
too much like taking medicine."

"Young men in college always have to take their medicine, one way or
another," observed the Wizard, with a smile; "and, as our Professor
says, these School Pills have proved to be a great success. One day
while I was making them I happened to drop one of them, and one of
Billina's chickens gobbled it up. A few minutes afterward this chick
got upon a roost and recited 'The Boy Stood on the Burning Deck'
without making a single mistake. Then it recited 'The Charge of the
Light Brigade' and afterwards 'Excelsior.' You see, the chicken had
eaten an Elocution Pill."

They now bade good-bye to the Professor, and thanking him for his kind
reception mounted again into the red wagon and continued their journey.



10. How the Cuttenclips Lived


The travelers had taken no provisions with them because they knew that
they would be welcomed wherever they might go in the Land of Oz, and
that the people would feed and lodge them with genuine hospitality.
So about noon they stopped at a farm-house and were given a delicious
luncheon of bread and milk, fruits and wheat cakes with maple syrup.
After resting a while and strolling through the orchards with their
host--a round, jolly farmer--they got into the wagon and again started
the Sawhorse along the pretty, winding road.

There were signposts at all the corners, and finally they came to one
which read:


TAKE THIS ROAD TO THE CUTTENCLIPS


There was also a hand pointing in the right direction, so they turned
the Sawhorse that way and found it a very good road, but seemingly
little traveled.

"I've never seen the Cuttenclips before," remarked Dorothy.

"Nor I," said the Captain General.

"Nor I," said the Wizard.

"Nor I," said Billina.

"I've hardly been out of the Emerald City since I arrived in this
country," added the Shaggy Man.

"Why, none of us has been there, then," exclaimed the little girl.
"I wonder what the Cuttenclips are like."

"We shall soon find out," said the Wizard, with a sly laugh.
"I've heard they are rather flimsy things."

The farm-houses became fewer as they proceeded, and the path was at
times so faint that the Sawhorse had hard work to keep in the road.
The wagon began to jounce, too; so they were obliged to go slowly.

After a somewhat wearisome journey they came in sight of a high wall,
painted blue with pink ornaments. This wall was circular, and seemed
to enclose a large space. It was so high that only the tops of the
trees could be seen above it.

The path led up to a small door in the wall, which was closed and
latched. Upon the door was a sign in gold letters reading as follows:


VISITORS are requested to MOVE SLOWLY and CAREFULLY,
and to avoid COUGHING or making any BREEZE or DRAUGHT.


"That's strange," said the Shaggy Man, reading the sign aloud. "Who
ARE the Cuttenclips, anyhow?"

"Why, they're paper dolls," answered Dorothy. "Didn't you know that?"

"Paper dolls! Then let's go somewhere else," said Uncle Henry.
"We're all too old to play with dolls, Dorothy."

"But these are different," declared the girl. "They're alive."

"Alive!" gasped Aunt Em, in amazement.

"Yes. Let's go in," said Dorothy.

So they all got out of the wagon, since the door in the wall was not
big enough for them to drive the Sawhorse and wagon through it.

"You stay here, Toto!" commanded Dorothy, shaking her finger at the
little dog. "You're so careless that you might make a breeze if I
let you inside."

Toto wagged his tail as if disappointed at being left behind; but he
made no effort to follow them. The Wizard unlatched the door, which
opened outward, and they all looked eagerly inside.

Just before the entrance was drawn up a line of tiny soldiers, with
uniforms brightly painted and paper guns upon their shoulders. They
were exactly alike, from one end of the line to the other, and all were
cut out of paper and joined together in the centers of their bodies.

As the visitors entered the enclosure the Wizard let the door swing
back into place, and at once the line of soldiers tumbled over, fell
flat upon their backs, and lay fluttering upon the ground.

"Hi there!" called one of them; "what do you mean by slamming the
door and blowing us over?"

"I beg your pardon, I'm sure," said the Wizard, regretfully. "I didn't
know you were so delicate."

"We're not delicate!" retorted another soldier, raising his head from
the ground. "We are strong and healthy; but we can't stand draughts."

"May I help you up?" asked Dorothy.

"If you please," replied the end soldier. "But do it gently,
little girl."

Dorothy carefully stood up the line of soldiers, who first dusted
their painted clothes and then saluted the visitors with their paper
muskets. From the end it was easy to see that the entire line had
been cut out of paper, although from the front the soldiers looked
rather solid and imposing.

"I've a letter of introduction from Princess Ozma to Miss Cuttenclip,"
announced Dorothy.

"Very well," said the end soldier, and blew upon a paper whistle that
hung around his neck. At once a paper soldier in a Captain's uniform
came out of a paper house near by and approached the group at the
entrance. He was not very big, and he walked rather stiffly and
uncertainly on his paper legs; but he had a pleasant face, with very
red cheeks and very blue eyes, and he bowed so low to the strangers
that Dorothy laughed, and the breeze from her mouth nearly blew the
Captain over. He wavered and struggled and finally managed to remain
upon his feet.

"Take care, Miss!" he said, warningly. "You're breaking the rules,
you know, by laughing."

"Oh, I didn't know that," she replied.

"To laugh in this place is nearly as dangerous as to cough," said the
Captain. "You'll have to breathe very quietly, I assure you."

"We'll try to," promised the girl. "May we see Miss Cuttenclip, please?"

"You may," promptly returned the Captain. "This is one of her
reception days. Be good enough to follow me."

He turned and led the way up a path, and as they followed slowly,
because the paper Captain did not move very swiftly, they took the
opportunity to gaze around them at this strange paper country.

Beside the path were paper trees, all cut out very neatly and painted
a brilliant green color. And back of the trees were rows of cardboard
houses, painted in various colors but most of them having green
blinds. Some were large and some small, and in the front yards were
beds of paper flowers quite natural in appearance. Over some of the
porches paper vines were twined, giving them a cozy and shady look.

As the visitors passed along the street a good many paper dolls came
to the doors and windows of their houses to look at them curiously.
These dolls were nearly all the same height, but were cut into various
shapes, some being fat and some lean. The girl dolls wore many
beautiful costumes of tissue paper, making them quite fluffy; but
their heads and hands were no thicker than the paper of which they
were made.

Some of the paper people were on the street, walking along or
congregated in groups and talking together; but as soon as they saw
the strangers they all fluttered into the houses as fast as they
could go, so as to be out of danger.

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