Miss Civilization
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Richard Harding Davis >> Miss Civilization
ALICE:
Yes, it's a free life until you go to jail. It's this way. You're
barbarians, and there's no place for you in a civilized community--
except in jail. Everybody is working against you. Every city has
its police force;almost every house nowadays has a private
watchman. And if we want to raise a hue and cry after you, there
are the newspapers, and the telegraph, and the telephone
(nods at telephone)
and the cables all over the--
HATCH:
(Grimly)
Thank you. One moment, please.
(Throws open overcoat, showing that it is lined with burglars'
jimmies, chisels, and augers..)
ALICE:
My! What an interesting coat. It looks like a tool chest. Just
the coat for an automobile trip.
HATCH:
Harry, cut those telephone wires.
(Hands barbed-wire cutter to HARRY. To ALICE)
Thank you for reminding me.
ALICE:
Oh, not at all. You've nothing to thank me for.
(HARRY goes to telephone. To HARRY)
Don't make a noise doing that. Don't wake my mother.
(To HATCH)
She's nervous, and she's ill, and if you wake her, or frighten her,
I'll keep the police after you until every one of you is in jail.
HATCH:
You won't keep after us very far when I've tied you up. Bring me
those curtain cords, Harry.
ALICE:
Oh, really, that's too ridiculous.
(Listens apprehensively)
HATCH:
Sorry I had to bust up your still alarm, but after we go, we can't
have you chatting with the police. If you hadn't so kindly given
me a tip about the telephone, I might have gone off and clean
forgot that.
(HARRY takes curtain cords from window curtains.)
REDDY:
I'm afraid pretty polly talked too much that time. We ain't all
stupid.
ALICE:
No, so I see, so I see. It was careless of me. But everybody you
call upon may not be so careless.
HATCH:
Well, I've won out for twenty years. I've never been in jail.
ALICE:
Don't worry. You're young. I told you you looked young. Your
time is coming. In these days there's no room for burglars. You
belong to the days of stage-coaches. You're old-fashioned now.
You're trying to fight civilization, that's what you're trying to
do. You may keep ahead for a time, but in a long race I'll back
civilization to win.
HATCH:
Is that so? Well, Miss Civilization, you've had your say, and I
hope you feel better.
(To HARRY)
Give me that silk muffler of yours.
(To ALICE)
If civilization is going to help you, it's got to hurry.
ALICE:
You don't mean to say you really are going to gag me?
HATCH:
I am.
ALICE:
My! But I shall look silly.
(With her face turned right she listens apprehensively.)
HARRY:
(Coming down with curtain cords, and taking muffler from his
pocket)
I've got the stuff in this muffler.
HATCH:
Well, give me that, too.
(Shows inside coat pocket)
I'll put it in the safe.
(HARRY places muffler on table, exposing jewelry.)
HATCH:
(begins placing the ornaments one at a time in his pocket. To
ALICE.)
What is it? What did you hear?
ALICE:
I--I thought I heard my mother moving about.
HATCH:
Well, she'd better not move about.
ALICE:
(Fiercely)
You'd better not wake her.
(Sees the jewels.)
Oh! Look at the "graft," or is it "swag?" Which is it?
HATCH:
(To HARRY)
Cover em up; cover it up.
(HARRY tries to hide the jewels with one hand, while he passes a
lady's watch to HATCH.)
HARRY:
(to ALICE)
That's YOUR watch. I'm sorry it has to go.
ALICE:
I'm not. It's the first time it ever did go. And, oh, thank you
for taking that big brooch. It's a gift of father's, so I had to
wear it, but it's so unbecoming.
(She listens covertly.)
HATCH:
Put your hat on them. Cover them up.
(HARRY partly covers jewels with his hat.
HATCH lifts a diamond necklace.)
ALICE:
I suppose you know your own business--but THAT IS PASTE.
HATCH:
Do you want to be gagged NOW?
ALICE:
Pardon me, of course you know what you want.
(Notices another necklace.)
Oh, that Mrs. Warren's necklace! So you called on her, too, did
you? Isn't she attractive!
REDDY:
We didn't ask for the lady of the house. They ain't always as
sociable as you are.
ALICE:
Well, that's her necklace. You got that at the house on the hill
with the red roof--the house has the red roof, not the hill.
(She recognizes, with an exclamation, a gold locket and chain which
HATCH is about to place in his pocket.)
Oh! That's Mrs. Lowell's locket! How could you!
(She snatches locket from HATCH, and clasps it in both hands. She
rises indignantly.)
How dared you take that!
HATCH:
Put that down!
ALICE:
(wildly and rapidly)
No, I will not. Do you know what that means to that woman? She
cares more for that than for anything in this world. Her husband
used to wear this.
(Points.)
That's a lock of their child's hair. The child's dead, and the
husband's dead, and that's all she has left of either of them. And
you TOOK it, YOU BRUTES!
REDDY:
Of course we took it. Why does she wear it where everybody can see
it?
HATCH:
(savagely)
Keep quiet, you fool.
ALICE:
She WORE it? You took it--FROM HER?
HATCH:
We didn't hurt her. We only frightened her a bit.
(Angrily.)
And we'll frighten you before we're done with you, Miss
Civilization!
ALICE:
(defiantly, her voice rising)
Frighten me! You--you with your faces covered! You're not men
enough. You're afraid to even steal from men. You rob WOMEN when
they're alone--at night.
(Holds up locket.)
Try to take that from me!
VOICE:
(calling)
Alice--Alice!
ALICE:
Mother! Oh, I forgot, I forgot.
(The burglars rise and move toward her menacingly.)
Please, please keep quiet. For God's sake, don't--let--her--know!
VOICE:
Alice, what's wrong? Who are you talking to?
(ALICE runs to the curtains, with one hand held out to the
burglars, entreating silence.)
ALICE:
I'm--I'm talking to James, the coachman. One of the horses is ill.
Don't come down, mother. Don't come down. Go back to bed. He's
going now, right away. He came for some medicine. It's all right.
Good night, mother.
VOICE:
Can't I help?
ALICE:
(Vehemently)
No, no. Good night, mother.
VOICE:
Good night.
HATCH:
(fiercely, to HARRY)
That's enough of this! We can't leave here with the whole house
awake. And there's a coachman, too. She'll wake him next. He'll
have the whole damned village after us.
(To ALICE)
That woman upstairs and you have got to have your tongues stopped.
ALICE:
(standing in front of curtains)
You try to go near that woman! She's ill, she's feeble, she's my--
mother! You dare to touch her.
HATCH:
Get out of my way.
ALICE:
She's ill, you cowards. It will kill her. You'll have to kill me
before you get through this door.
HATCH:
(savagely)
Well, then, if it comes to that--
(Three locomotive whistles are heard from just outside the house.
ALICE throws up her hands hysterically.)
ALICE:
Ah! At last! They've come. They've come!
HATCH:
(fiercely)
They've come! What is it? What does that mean?
(REDDY runs to window and opens the shutters.)
ALICE:
(jubilantly)
It means--it means that twenty men are crossing that lawn. It
means that while you sat drinking there, Civilization was racing
toward you at seventy miles an hour!
HATCH:
Damnation! We're trapped. Get to the wagon--quick! No. Leave
the girl alone. We've no time for that. Drop that stuff. That
way. That way.
REDDY:
(at window)
No. Get back! Get back! It's too late. There's hundreds of them
out there.
HATCH:
(running to centre door)
Out here! This way! Quick!
ALICE:
(mockingly)
Yes, come! You don't dare come this way NOW!
(She drags open the curtains, disclosing CAPTAIN LUCAS and two
other policemen. For an instant they stand, covering the burglars
with revolvers. REDDY runs to window. He is seized by an entering
crowd of men in the oil-stained blue jeans of engineers and
brakemen.)
CAPTAIN LUCAS:
Hold up your hands, all of you! I guess I know you.
(With his left hand he tears off HATCH'S mask.)
"Joe" Hatch--at last.
(Pulls off HARRY'S mask.)
And Harry Hayes. I thought so. And that's--the "Kid." The whole
gang.
(To the police.)
Good work, boys.
(To ALICE)
My congratulations, Miss Gardner. They're the worst lot in the
country. You're a brave young lady. You ought--
ALICE:
(speaking with an effort and swaying slightly)
Hush, please. Don't--don't alarm my mother. Mother's not as
strong as--as I am.
(Her eyes close, and she faints across the arm of the Chief of
Police as the CURTAIN FALLS.)