Two Years in the Forbidden City

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Early in the morning I put on full Court dress, and made myself
look as nice as possible and went to wish Her Majesty good
morning. When she had finished dressing, the eunuchs brought in
the presents and, kneeling, I presented them to Her Majesty,
bowing to the ground nine times. She thanked me and wished me a
happy birthday. She then made me a present of a pair of sandalwood
bracelets, beautifully carved, also a few rolls of brocade silk.
She also informed me that she had ordered some macaroni in honor
of my birthday. This macaroni is called (Chang Shou Me'en) long
life macaroni. This was the custom. I again bowed and thanked her
for her kindness and thoughtfulness. After bowing to the Young
Empress and receiving in return two pairs of shoes and several
embroidered neckties, I returned to my room, where I found
presents from all the Court ladies.

Altogether I had a very happy birthday.

I can never forget the fifteenth day of the fifth moon as long as
I live, for that was a bad day for everyone. As usual we went to
Her Majesty's bedroom quite early that morning. She could not get
up and complained that her back ached so much. We rubbed her back,
in turns, and finally she got up, though a little late. She was
not satisfied. The Emperor came in and knelt down to wish her good
morning, but she scarcely took any notice of him. I noticed that
when the Emperor saw that Her Majesty was not well, he said very
little to her. The eunuch who dressed her hair every morning was
ill, and had ordered another one to help her. Her Majesty told us
to watch him very closely to see that he did not pull her hair
off. She could not bear to see even one or two hairs fall out.
This eunuch was not used to trickery, for instance, in case the
hair was falling off, he could not hide it like the other one did.
This poor man did not know what to do with any that came out. He
was frightened, and Her Majesty, seeing him through the mirror,
asked him whether he had pulled her hair out. He said that he had.
This made her furious, and she told him to replace it. I almost
laughed, but the eunuch was very much frightened and started to
cry. Her Majesty ordered him to leave the room, and said she would
punish him later. We helped her to fix up her hair. I must say it
was not an easy job, for she had very long hair and it was
difficult to comb.

She went to the morning audience, as usual, and after that she
told the head eunuch what had happened. This Li was indeed a bad
and cruel man, and said: "Why not beat him to death?" Immediately
she ordered Li to take this man to his own quarters to receive
punishment. Then Her Majesty said the food was bad, and ordered
the cooks to be punished also. They told me that whenever Her
Majesty was angry everything went wrong, so I was not surprised
that so many things happened that day. Her Majesty said that we
all looked too vain with our hair too low down at the back of the
head. (This Manchu headdress is placed right in the center of
one's head and the back part is called the swallow's tail, and
must reach the bottom part of one's collar.) We had our hair done
up the same way every day, and she had previously never said a
word about it. She looked at us, and said: "Now I am going to the
audience, and don't need you all here. Go back to your rooms and
fix your hair all over again. If I ever see you all like that
again I am going to cut your hair off." I was never more surprised
in my life when I heard her speak so sharply to us. I don't know
whether I was spoken to or not, but I thought it well to be wise,
and I answered I would. We were all ready to go and Her Majesty
stood there watching us. When we were about five or six feet away
we heard her scolding Chun Shou (the girl who was neither a Court
lady nor a servant). Her Majesty said she was pretending she was
all right, and Her Majesty ordered her to go also. When we were
walking towards our own place, some of them laughed at Chun Shou,
which made her angry. When Her Majesty was angry with anyone, she
would say that we were all doing something on purpose to make her
angry. I must say that everyone of us was scared, and wondered who
would have dared to do that. On the contrary, we tried our best to
please her in every way.

But that day she was furious all day and I tried to stay away from
her. I noticed some of the eunuchs went to her to ask questions
concerning important matters, but she would not look at them, but
kept on reading her book. To tell the truth, I felt miserable that
day. At the beginning I thought all the eunuchs were faithful
servants, but seeing them every day, I got to know them. It did
not do them any harm to be punished once in a while.

The Young Empress told me to go in and wait on Her Majesty as
usual. She said that probably if I would suggest playing dice with
her, she might forget her troubles. At first I did not want to go,
for I was afraid that she might say something to me, but seeing
that the poor Young Empress spoke to me so nicely, I told her I
would try. When I entered Her Majesty's sitting room I found her
reading a book. She looked at me and said: "Come over here, I
would like to tell you something. You know these people at the
Palace are no good and I don't like them at all. I don't want them
to poison your ears by telling you how wicked I am. Don't talk to
them. You must not fix your hair too low down at the back of your
head. I was not angry with you this morning. I know you are
different. Don't let them influence you. I want you to be on my
side, and do as I tell you." Her Majesty spoke very kindly to me,
and her face changed also--not at all the same face she had that
morning. Of course I promised her that I would be only too happy
to do all I could to please her. She spoke to me just like a good
mother would speak to a dear child. I changed my opinion and
thought that perhaps after all she was right, but I had often
heard from the officials that one cannot be good to a eunuch, as
he would do all he could to injure you without any reason
whatsoever.

I noticed that day they all seemed to be more careful in doing
their work. I was told that when once Her Majesty got angry, she
would never finish. On the contrary, she talked to me very nicely,
just as if there had been no troubles at all. She was not
difficult to wait upon, only one had to watch her moods. I thought
how fascinating she was, and I had already forgotten that she had
been angry. She seemed to have guessed what I was thinking, and
said: "I can make people hate me worse than poison, and can also
make them love me. I have that power." I thought she was right
there.

CHAPTER TWELVE

THE EMPRESS AND MRS. CONGER

ON the twenty-sixth day of the fifth moon, during the morning
audience, Prince Ching told Her Majesty that Mrs. Conger, the wife
of the American Minister to Peking, had asked for a private
audience, and would Her Majesty please mention a day. She told him
not to give any answer until the next day, just to give her time
to think it over. I was sitting behind the large screen,
listening, but the other Court ladies made too much noise, so Her
Majesty ordered them not to say a word during audience. I was very
glad myself, because I could listen to some of the interesting
conversations between the Empress Dowager and her Ministers. After
the audience, Her Majesty ordered her lunch to be served on the
top of the hill at Pai Yuen Dien (Spreading Cloud Pavilion). She
said that she preferred to walk, so we followed her very slowly.
To get to this place we had to mount two hundred and seventy-two
steps, besides ten minutes' climbing over rough stones. She did
not seem to mind the climbing part at all. It was the funniest
thing to see two little eunuchs on either side, to support her
arms, trying to keep pace with her. I noticed that she was very
much preoccupied, and did not speak to any of us. When we arrived
at our destination we were very tired and quite exhausted. Her
Majesty, who was a good walker herself, laughed at us. She was
always very much pleased when she excelled in games of skill or
endurance. She said: "You see I am old, and can walk much faster
than you young people. You are all no use. What is the matter with
you?" Her Majesty was very fond of receiving compliments. I had
been there long enough to know and had learned to say things which
would please her. She also hated anyone to pay her compliments at
the wrong moment, so one had to be very careful even in paying her
compliments.

This "spreading cloud" pavilion was a beautiful Palace. It had an
open space in front of the building, just like one of the
courtyards, with pink and white oleanders all over the place.
There was a porcelain table and several porcelain stools. Her
Majesty sat on her own yellow satin stool and was drinking her tea
in silence. It was very windy that day, although the sky was blue
with warm sunshine. Her Majesty sat there just for a few minutes,
and then said it was too windy and went into the building. I was
more than glad to go in, too, and whispered to the Young Empress
that I thought the wind might blow off my headdress. The eunuchs
brought the luncheon and placed everything upon the table. The
Young Empress made a sign for us to follow her, which we did. When
we came to the back veranda we sat down on the window seats. I
will explain about these seats. All the windows were built low at
the Palace, and on the veranda there was something like a bench
built along the window, about a foot wide. There were no chairs to
be seen excepting Her Majesty's thrones. The Young Empress asked
me whether I had noticed that Her Majesty had something on her
mind. I told her that perhaps she was thinking about the private
audience which Prince Ching had mentioned that morning. She said
that I had guessed right, and asked: "Do you know anything about
this audience? When will it take place?" I said that Her Majesty
had not yet given her answer.

By this time Her Majesty had finished eating and was walking up
and down the room, watching us eating. She came over to my mother
and said: "I am just wondering why Mrs. Conger asks for a private
audience. Perhaps she has something to say to me. I would like to
know just what it is so I can prepare an answer." My mother said
that probably Mrs. Conger had someone visiting her who wished to
be presented to Her Majesty. "No, it can't be that, because they
must give the list of names of those who wish to come to the
Palace. I don't mind the formal audiences, but I don't think that
I should have private ones at all. I don't like to be questioned,
as you all know. The foreigners are, of course, very nice and
polite, according to their own way, but they cannot compare with
us, so far as etiquette is concerned. I may be conservative in
saying that I admire our custom and will not change it as long as
I live. You see our people are taught to be polite from their
earliest childhood, and just look back at the oldest teachings and
compare them with the new. People seem to like the latter the
best. I mean that the new idea is to be Christians, to chop up
their Ancestral Tablets and burn them. I know many families here
who have broken up because of the missionaries, who are always
influencing the young people to believe their religion. Now I tell
you why I feel uneasy about this audience is because we are too
polite to refuse anyone who asks any favors in person. The
foreigners don't seem to understand that. I'll tell you what I
will do. Whenever they ask me anything, I'll simply tell them that
I am not my own boss, but have to consult with my Ministers; that
although I am the Empress Dowager of China, I must also obey the
law. To tell the truth, I like Madame Uchida (wife of the Japanese
Minister to Peking) very much. She is always very nice and doesn't
ask any silly questions. Of course the Japanese are very much like
ourselves, not at all forward. Last year, before you came to the
Court, a missionary lady came with Mrs. Conger, and suggested that
I should establish a school for girls at the Palace. I did not
like to offend her, and said that I would take it into
consideration. Now, just imagine it for a moment. Wouldn't it be
foolish to have a school at the Palace; besides, where am I going
to get so many girls to study? I have enough to do as it is. I
don't want all the children of the Imperial family studying at my
Palace."

Her Majesty laughed while she was telling us this, and everyone
else laughed, too. She said: "I am sure you will laugh. Mrs.
Conger is a very nice lady. America is always very friendly
towards China, and I appreciate their nice behavior at the Palace
during the twenty-sixth year of Kwang Hsu (1900), but I cannot say
that I love the missionaries, too. Li Lien Ying told me that these
missionaries here give the Chinese a certain medicine, and that
after that they wish to become Christians, and then they would
pretend to tell the Chinese to think it over very carefully, for
they would never force anyone to believe their religion against
their own will. Missionaries also take the poor Chinese children
and gouge their eyes out, and use them as a kind of medicine." I
told her that that was not true; that I had met a great many
missionaries, and that they were very kind-hearted and willing to
do anything to help the poor Chinese. I also told her what they
had done for the poor orphans--given them a home, food and
clothing; that sometimes they went into the interior and found the
blind children who might be useless to their parents, and when
they get them they have to support them. I know several cases like
that. These country people offer their deformed children to the
missionaries, as they are too poor to feed and take care of them.
I told her about their schools, and how they helped the poor
people. Her Majesty then laughed, and said: "Of course I believe
what you say, but why don't these missionaries stay in their own
country and be useful to their own people?" I thought it would be
of no use for me to talk too much, but at the same time I would
like her to know of the dreadful times some of the missionaries
had in China. Some time ago, two of them were murdered at Wu
Shuih, in June, 1892 (a little below Hankow), the church being
burnt down by the mob. My father was appointed by Viceroy Chang
Chih Tung to investigate the matter. After much trouble he caught
three of the murderers and, according to the Chinese law, they
were put to death by hanging in wooden cages, and the Government
paid an indemnity to the families of the murdered missionaries.
The year after, 1893, a Catholic church was burnt down at Mar
Cheng, on the Yangtse, near Ichang. The mob said they saw many
blind children at the church, who were made to work after having
their eyes gouged out. The Prefect of Ichang Province said it was
true that missionaries did get the Chinese childrens' eyes for
making medicine, so my father suggested having those blind
children brought into the Yamen and ask them. The Prefect was a
most wicked man, and was very anti-foreign also. He gave the poor
children plenty of food, and taught them to say that the
missionaries did gouge their eyes out, but when they were brought
in the next day they said that the missionaries treated them very
kindly and gave them a nice home, good food and clothing. They
said they were blind long before they became Catholics, and also
said that the Prefect had taught them to say that the missionaries
were cruel to them, which was not true. The blind children begged
to go back to the school and said that they were very happy there.

Her Majesty said: "That may be all right for them to help the poor
and relieve their suffering. For instance, like our great Buddha
Ju Lai, who fed the hungry birds with his own flesh. I would love
them if they would leave my people alone. Let us believe our own
religion. Do you know how the Boxer rising began? Why, the Chinese
Christians were to blame. The Boxers were treated badly by them,
and wanted revenge. Of course that is always the trouble with the
low class of people. They went too far, and at the same time
thought to make themselves rich by setting fire to every house in
Peking. It made no difference whose house. They wanted to burn so
long as they could get money. These Chinese Christians are the
worst people in China. They rob the poor country people of their
land and property, and the missionaries, of course, always protect
them, in order to get a share themselves. Whenever a Chinese
Christian is taken to the Magistrate's Yamen, he is not supposed
to kneel down on the ground and obey the Chinese law, as others
do, and is always very rude to his own Government Officials. Then
these missionaries do the best they can to protect him, whether he
is wrong or not, and believe everything he says and make the
magistrate set the prisoner free. Do you remember that your father
established rules in the twenty-fourth year of Kwang Hsu, how the
Chinese officials should treat the Bishops whenever they had
dealings with each other? I know the common class of people become
Christians--also those who are in trouble--but I don't believe
that any of the high officials are Christians." Her Majesty looked
around and whispered: "Kang Yue Wai (the reformer in 1898) tried
to make the Emperor believe that religion. No one shall believe as
long as I live. I must say that I admire the foreigners in some
ways. For instance, their navies and armies, and engineers, but as
regards civilization I should say that China is the first country
by all means. I know that many people believe that the Government
had connections with the Boxers, but that is not true. As soon as
we found out the trouble we issued several Edicts, and ordered the
soldiers to drive them out, but they had gone too far already. I
made up my mind not to go out of the Palace at all. I am an old
woman, and did not care whether I died or not, but Prince Tuang
and Duke Lan suggested that we should go at once. They also
suggested that we should go in disguise, which made me very angry,
and I refused. After the return of the Court to Peking, I was told
that many people believed that I did go in disguise, and said that
I was dressed in one of my servant's clothes, and rode in a broken
cart drawn by a mule, and that this old woman servant of mine was
dressed as the Empress Dowager, and rode in my sedan chair. I
wonder who made that story up? Of course everyone believed it, and
such a story would get to the foreigners in Peking without any
trouble.

"Now to come back to the question of the Boxer Rising. How badly I
was treated by my own servants. No one seemed anxious to go with
me, and a great many ran away before the Court had any idea of
leaving the Capital at all, and those who stayed would not work,
but stood around and waited to see what was going to happen. I
made up my mind to ask and see how many would be willing to go, so
I said to everyone: `If you servants are willing to go with me,
you can do so, and those who are not willing, can leave me.' I was
very much surprised to find that there were very few standing
around listening. Only seventeen eunuchs, two old women servants
and one servant girl, that was Sho Chu. Those people said they
would go with me, no matter what happened. I had 3,000 eunuchs,
but they were nearly all gone before I had the chance of counting
them. Some of the wicked ones were even rude to me, and threw my
valuable vases on the stone floor, and smashed them. They knew
that I could not punish them at that important moment, for we were
leaving. I cried very much and prayed for our Great Ancestors'
Souls to protect us. Everyone knelt with me and prayed. The Young
Empress was the only one of my family who went with me. A certain
relative of mine, whom I was very fond of, and gave her everything
she asked, refused to go with me. I knew that the reason she would
not go was because she thought the foreign soldiers would catch up
the runaway Court, and kill everyone.

"After we had been gone about seven days, I sent one eunuch back,
to find out who was still in Peking. She asked this eunuch whether
there were any foreign soldiers chasing us, and whether I was
killed. Soon after the Japanese soldiers took her Palace, and
drove her out. She thought she was going to die anyway, and as I
was not yet assassinated, she might catch up with the Court, and
go with us. I could not understand how she traveled so fast. One
evening we were staying at a little country house, when she came
in with her husband, a nice man. She was telling me how much she
had missed me, and how very anxious she had been all that time to
know whether I was safe or not, and cried. I refused to listen to
what she was saying and told her plainly that I did not believe a
word. From that time she was finished for me. I had a very hard
time, traveling in a sedan chair, from early morning, before the
sun rose, until dark and in the evening had to stop at some
country place. I am sure you would pity me, old as I am, that I
should have had to suffer in that way.

"The Emperor went all the way in a cart, drawn by a mule, also the
Empress. I went along, and was praying to our Great Ancestors for
protection, but the Emperor was very quiet, and never opened his
mouth. One day something happened. It rained so much and some of
the chair carriers ran away. Some of the mules died suddenly. It
was very hot, and the rain was pouring down on our heads. Five
small eunuchs ran away also, because we were obliged to punish
them the night before on account of their bad behavior to the
Magistrate, who did all he could to make me comfortable, but of
course food was scarce. I heard these eunuchs quarreling with the
Magistrate, who bowed to the ground, begging them to keep quiet,
and promised them everything. I was of course very angry.
Traveling under such circumstances one ought to be satisfied that
one was provided for.

"It took us more than a month before we reached Shi An. I cannot
tell you how fatigued I was, and was of course worrying very much,
which made me quite ill for almost three months. So long as I live
I cannot forget it.

"We returned to Peking early in the twenty-eighth year of Kwang
Hsu and I had another dreadful feeling when I saw my own Palace
again. Oh! it was quite changed; a great many valuable ornaments
broken or stolen. All the valuable things at the Sea Palace had
been taken away, and someone had broken the fingers of my white
jade Buddha, to whom I used to worship every day. Several
foreigners sat on my throne and had their photos taken. When I was
at the Shi An I was just like being sent into exile, although the
Viceroy's Yamen was prepared for us, but the building was very
old, damp and unhealthy. The Emperor became ill. It would take a
long time to tell you everything; I thought I had enough trouble,
but this last was the worst. When I have time, I will tell you
more about it. I want you to know the absolute truth.

"Now let us come back to the question of Mrs. Conger's private
audience. There must be something special, but I hope that she
will not ask for anything, for I hate to refuse her. Can you guess
what it is?" I told Her Majesty that there could not be anything
special; besides, Mrs. Conger considered herself to be a person
who knew Chinese etiquette very well, and I didn't believe she
would ask for anything at all. Her Majesty said: "The only
objection I have is that Mrs. Conger always brings one of the
missionaries as her interpreter, when I have your mother, your
sister and yourself, which I think should be sufficient. I don't
think it is right for her to do that; besides, I cannot understand
their Chinese very well. I like to see the ladies of the
Diplomatic body sometimes, but not the missionaries. I will stop
that when the opportunity comes."

The next morning Prince Ching told Her Majesty that the American
Admiral, and Mrs. Evans, and suite wished to be presented to her.
The American Minister asked two private audiences. He said he had
made a mistake by telling her that Mrs. Conger had asked an
audience for herself, the day before.

After the regular morning audience was over Her Majesty laughed
and said: "Didn't I tell you yesterday that there must be a reason
for asking an audience? I rather would like to meet the American
Admiral and his wife." Turning to us she said: "Be sure and fix
everything up pretty, change everything in my bedroom, so as not
to show them our daily life." We all said "Jur" (yes), but we knew
it was going to be a hard task to turn the Palace upside down.

It was just the night before the appointed audience. We started to
work taking off the pink silk curtains from every window, and
changing them for sky blue (the color she hated); then we changed
the cushions on the chairs to the same color. While we were
watching the eunuchs doing the work, several of them came into the
room, carrying a large tray full of clocks. By this time her
Majesty had come into the room, and ordered us to remove all her
white and green jade Buddhas and take some of the jade ornaments
away, for those things were sacred, and no foreigners should see
them, so we replaced them with these clocks, instead. We also took
away the three embroidered door curtains, and changed them for
ordinary blue satin ones. I must explain that these three curtains
were sacred, too. They were embroidered to represent five hundred
Buddhist deities, on old gold satin, and had been used by Emperor
Tou Kwang. Her Majesty believed that by hanging these curtains at
her door they would guard against evil spirits entering her room.
The order was that one of us should remember to place them back
again when the audience was over. We fixed every piece of
furniture in her bedroom. Her toilet table was the most important
thing. She would not let anyone see it-not even the wives of the
Officials who came in, so of course we had to put it in a safe
place, and lock it up. We changed her bed from pink color into
blue. All her furniture was made of sandalwood, also carvings on
her bed. This sandalwood, before it was made into furniture, was
placed in different temples, to be sanctified, so of course no
foreigner could see it. As we could not take this carving from her
bed, we covered it up with embroidered hangings. While we were
working Her Majesty came in and told us not to hurry in her
bedroom, because the audience the next day would only be for
Admiral Robley Evans and his staff, and they would not visit the
private rooms. The audience for Mrs. Evans and the other ladies
would be the day after. She said it was important to see that the
Audience Hall was fixed up properly. She said: "Place the only
carpet we have here in the hall. I don't like carpets anyway, but
it cannot be helped."

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