The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

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Jery accompanied her ladyship to her house, that he might have an
opportunity to restore the etuis to Barton, and advise him to
give up his suit, which was so disagreeable to his sister,
against whom, however, he returned much irritated -- Lady Griskin
had assured him that Liddy's heart was pre-occupied; and
immediately the idea of Wilson recurring to his imagination, his
family-pride took the alarm. He denounced vengeance against the
adventurer, and was disposed to be very peremptory with his
sister; but I desired he would suppress his resentment, until I
should have talked with her in private.

The poor girl, when I earnestly pressed her on this head, owned
with a flood of tears, that Wilson had actually come to the Hot
Well at Bristol, and even introduced himself into our lodgings as
a Jew pedlar; but that nothing had passed betwixt them, further
than her begging him to withdraw immediately, if he had any
regard for her peace of mind: that he had disappeared
accordingly, after having attempted to prevail upon my sister's
maid, to deliver a letter; which, however, she refused to
receive, though she had consented to carry a message, importing
that he was a gentleman of a good family; and that, in a very
little time, he would avow his passion in that character -- She
confessed, that although he had not kept his word in this
particular, he was not yet altogether indifferent to her
affection; but solemnly promised, she would never carry on any
correspondence with him, or any other admirer, for the future,
without the privity and approbation of her brother and me.

By this declaration, she made her own peace with Jery; but the
hot-headed boy is more than ever incensed against Wilson, whom he
now considers as an impostor, that harbours some infamous design
upon the honour of his family -- As for Barton he was not a little
mortified to find his present returned, and his addresses so
unfavourably received; but he is not a man to be deeply affected
by such disappointments; and I know not whether he is not as well
pleased with being discarded by Liddy, as he would have been with
a permission to prosecute his pretensions, at the risque of being
every day exposed to the revenge or machinations of Tabby, who is
not to be slighted with impunity. -- I had not much time to
moralize on these occurrences; for the house was visited by a
constable and his gang, with a warrant from Justice Buzzard, to
search the box of Humphry Clinker, my footman, -- who was just
apprehended as a highwayman. This incident threw the whole family
into confusion. My sister scolded the constable for presuming to
enter the lodgings of a gentleman on such an errand, without
having first asked, and obtained permission; her maid was
frightened into fits, and Liddy shed tears of compassion for the
unfortunate Clinker, in whose box, however, nothing was found to
confirm the suspicion of robbery.

For my own part, I made no doubt of the fellow's being mistaken
for some other person, and I went directly to the justice, in
order to procure his discharge; but there I found the matter much
more serious than I expected -- Poor Clinker stood trembling at the
bar, surrounded by thief-takers; and at a little distance, a
thick, squat fellow, a postilion, his accuser, who had seized him
on the street, and swore positively to his person, that the said
Clinker had, on the 15th day of March last, on Blackheath, robbed
a gentleman in a post-chaise, which he (the postilion) drove --
This deposition was sufficient to justify his commitment; and he
was sent accordingly to Clerkenwell prison, whither Jery
accompanied him in the coach, in order to recommend him properly
to the keeper, that he may want for no convenience which the
place affords.

The spectators, who assembled to see this highwayman, were
sagacious enough to discern something very villainous in his
aspect; which (begging their pardon) is the very picture of
simplicity; and the justice himself put a very unfavourable
construction upon some of his answers, which, he said, savoured
of the ambiguity and equivocation of an old offender; but, in my
opinion, it would have been more just and humane to impute them
to the confusion into which we may suppose a poor country lad to
be thrown on such an occasion. I am still persuaded he is
innocent; and, in this persuasion, I can do no less than use my
utmost endeavours that he may not be oppressed -- I shall, to-morrow,
send my nephew to wait on the gentleman who was robbed,
and beg; he will have the humanity to go and see the prisoner;
that, in case he should find him quite different from the person
of the highwayman, he may bear testimony in his behalf -- Howsoever
it may fare with Clinker, this cursed affair will be to me
productive of intolerable chagrin -- I have already caught a
dreadful cold, by rushing into the open air from the justice's
parlour, where I had been stewing in the crowd; and though I
should not be laid up with the gout, as I believe I shall, I must
stay at London for some weeks, till this poor devil comes to his
trial at Rochester; so that, in all probability, my northern
expedition is blown up.

If you can find any thing in your philosophical budget, to
console me in the midst of these distresses and apprehensions,
pray let it be communicated to

Your unfortunate friend,
MATT. BRAMBLE
LONDON, June 12.

To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS, of Jesus college, Oxon.

DEAR WAT,

The farce is finished, and another piece of a graver cast brought
upon the stage. -- Our aunt made a desperate attack upon Barton,
who had no other way of saving himself, but by leaving her in
possession of the field, and avowing his pretensions to Liddy, by
whom he has been rejected in his turn. -- Lady Griskin acted as his
advocate and agent on this occasion, with such zeal as embroiled
her with Mrs Tabitha, and a high scene of altercation passed
betwixt these two religionists, which might have come to action,
had not my uncle interposed. They are however reconciled, in
consequence of an event which hath involved us all in trouble and
disquiet. You must know, the poor preacher, Humphry Clinker, is
now exercising his ministry among the felons in Clerkenwell
prison -- A postilion having sworn a robbery against him, no bail
could be taken, and he was committed to jail, notwithstanding all
the remonstrances and interest my uncle could make in his behalf.

All things considered, the poor fellow cannot possibly be guilty,
and yet, I believe, he runs some risque of being hanged. Upon his
examination, he answered with such hesitation and reserve as
persuaded most of the people, who crowded the place, that he was
really a knave, and the justice's remarks confirmed their
opinion. Exclusive of my uncle and myself, there was only one
person who seemed inclined to favour the culprit. -- He was a young
man, well dressed, and, from the manner in which he cross-examined
the evidence, we took it for granted, that he was a
student in one of the inns of court. -- He freely checked the
justice for some uncharitable inferences he made to the prejudice
of the prisoner, and even ventured to dispute with his worship on
certain points of law.

My uncle, provoked at the unconnected and dubious answers of
Clinker, who seemed in danger of falling a sacrifice to his own
simplicity, exclaimed, 'In the name of God, if you are innocent,
say so.' 'No (cried he) God forbid that I should call myself
innocent, while my conscience is burthened with sin.' 'What then,
you did commit this robbery?' resumed his master. 'No, sure (said
he) blessed be the Lord, I'm free of that guilt.'

Here the justice interposed, observing, that the man seemed
inclined to make a discovery by turning king's evidence, and
desired the clerk to take his confession; upon which Humphry
declared, that he looked upon confession to be a popish fraud,
invented by the whore of Babylon. The Templar affirmed, that the
poor fellow was non compos; and exhorted the justice to discharge
him as a lunatic. -- 'You know very well (added he) that the
robbery in question was not committed by the prisoner.'

The thief-takers grinned at one another; and Mr Justice Buzzard
replied with great emotion, 'Mr Martin, I desire you will mind
your own business; I shall convince you one of these days that I
understand mine.' In short, there was no remedy; the mittimus was
made out, and poor Clinker sent to prison in a hackney-coach,
guarded by the constable, and accompanied by your humble servant.
By the way, I was not a little surprised to hear this retainer to
justice bid the prisoner to keep up his spirits, for that he did
not at all doubt but that he would get off for a few weeks
confinement -- He said, his worship knew very well that Clinker was
innocent of the fact, and that the real highwayman who robbed the
chaise, was no other than that very individual Mr Martin, who had
pleaded so strenuously for honest Humphry.

Confounded at this information, I asked, 'Why then is he suffered
to go about at his liberty, and this poor innocent fellow treated
as a malefactor?' 'We have exact intelligence of all Mr Martin's
transactions (said he); but as yet there is not evidence
sufficient for his conviction; and as for this young man, the
justice could do no less than commit him, as the postilion swore
point-blank to his identity.' 'So if this rascally postilion
should persist in the falsity to which he is sworn (said I), this
innocent lad may be brought to the gallows.'

The constable observed, that he would have time enough to prepare
for his trial, and might prove an alibi; or, perhaps, Martin
might be apprehended and convicted for another fact; in which
case, he might be prevailed upon to take this affair upon
himself; or, finally, if these chances should fail, and the
evidence stand good against Clinker, the jury might recommend him
to mercy, in consideration of his youth, especially if this
should appear to be the first fact of which he had been guilty.

Humphry owned he could not pretend to recollect where he had been
on the day when the robbery was committed, much less prove a
circumstance of that kind so far back as six months, though he
knew he had been sick of the fever and ague, which, however, did
not prevent him from going about -- then, turning up his eyes, he
ejaculated, 'The Lord's will be done! if it be my fate to suffer,
I hope I shall not disgrace the faith of which, though unworthy,
I make profession.'

When I expressed my surprize that the accuser should persist in
charging Clinker, without taking the least notice of the real
robber who stood before him, and to whom, indeed, Humphry bore
not the smallest resemblance; the constable (who was himself a
thief-taker) gave me to understand, that Mr Martin was the best
qualified for business of all the gentlemen on the road he had
ever known; that he had always acted on his own bottom, without
partner or correspondent, and never went to work but when he was
cool and sober; that his courage and presence of mind never
failed him; that his address was genteel, and his behaviour void
of all cruelty and insolence; that he never encumbered himself
with watches or trinkets, nor even with bank-notes, but always
dealt for ready money, and that in the current coin of the
kingdom; and that he could disguise himself and his horse in such
a manner, that, after the action, it was impossible to recognize
either the one or the other -- 'This great man (said he) has
reigned paramount in all the roads within fifty miles of London
above fifteen months, and has done more business in that time,
than all the rest of the profession put together; for those who
pass through his hands are so delicately dealt with, that they
have no desire to give him the least disturbance; but for all
that, his race is almost run -- he is now fluttering about justice,
like a moth about a candle -- there are so many lime-twigs laid in
his way, that I'll bet a cool hundred, he swings before
Christmas.'

Shall I own to you, that this portrait, drawn by a ruffian,
heightened by what I myself had observed in his deportment, has
interested me warmly in the fate of poor Martin, whom nature
seems to have intended for a useful and honourable member of that
community upon which he now preys for subsistence? It seems, he
lived some time as a clerk to a timber-merchant, whose daughter
Martin having privately married, was discarded, and his wife
turned out of doors. She did not long survive her marriage; and
Martin, turning fortune-hunter, could not supply his occasions
any other way, than by taking to the road, in which he has
travelled hitherto with uncommon success. -- He pays his respects
regularly to Mr Justice Buzzard, the thief-catcher-general of
this metropolis, and sometimes they smoke a pipe together very
lovingly, when the conversation generally turns upon the nature
of evidence. -- The justice has given him fair warning to take care
of himself, and he has received his caution in good part. --
Hitherto he has baffled all the vigilance, art, and activity of
Buzzard and his emissaries, with such conduct as would have done
honour to the genius of a Caesar or a Turenne; but he has one
weakness, which has proved fatal to all the heroes of his tribe,
namely, an indiscreet devotion to the fair sex, and in all
probability, he will be attacked on this defenceless quarter.

Be that as it may, I saw the body of poor Clinker consigned to
the gaoler of Clerkenwell, to whose indulgence I recommended him
so effectually, that he received him in the most hospitable
manner, though there was a necessity for equipping him with a
suit of irons, in which he made a very rueful appearance. The
poor creature seemed as much affected by my uncle's kindness, as
by his own misfortune. When I assured him, that nothing should be
left undone for procuring his enlargement, and making his
confinement easy in the mean time, he fell down on his knees, and
kissing my hand, which he bathed with his tears, '0 'squire!
(cried he, sobbing) what shall I say? -- I can't -- no, I can't
speak -- my poor heart is bursting with gratitude to you and my
dear -- dear generous -- noble benefactor.'

I protest, the scene became so pathetic, that I was fain to force
myself away, and returned to my uncle, who sent me in the
afternoon with a compliment to one Mr Mead, the person who had
been robbed on Black-heath. As I did not find him at home, I left
a message, in consequence of which he called at our lodgings this
morning, and very humanely agreed to visit the prisoner. By this
time, lady Griskin had come to make her formal compliments of
condolance to Mrs Tabitha, on this domestic calamity; and that
prudent maiden, whose passion was now cooled, thought proper to
receive her ladyship so civilly, that a reconciliation
immediately ensued. These two ladies resolved to comfort the poor
prisoner in their own persons, and Mr Mead and I 'squired them to
Clerkenwell, my uncle being detained at home by some slight
complaints in his stomach and bowels.

The turnkey, who received us at Clerkenwell, looked remarkably
sullen; and when we enquired for Clinker, 'I don't care, if the
devil had him (said he); here has been nothing but canting and
praying since the fellow entered the place. -- Rabbit him! the tap
will be ruined -- we han't sold a cask of beer, nor a dozen of
wine, since he paid his garnish -- the gentlemen get drunk with
nothing but your damned religion. -- For my part, I believe as how
your man deals with the devil. -- Two or three as bold hearts as
ever took the air upon Hounslow have been blubbering all night;
and if the fellow an't speedily removed by Habeas Corpus, or
otherwise, I'll be damn'd if there's a grain of true spirit left
within these walls we shan't have a soul to do credit to the
place, or make his exit like a true born Englishman -- damn my
eyes! there will be nothing but snivelling in the cart -- we shall
all die like so many psalm-singing weavers.'

In short, we found that Humphry was, at that very instant,
haranguing the felons in the chapel; and that the gaoler's wife
and daughter, together with my aunt's woman, Win Jenkins, and
our house-maid, were among the audience, which we immediately
joined. I never saw any thing so strongly picturesque as this
congregation of felons clanking their chains, in the midst of
whom stood orator Clinker, expatiating in a transport of fervor,
on the torments of hell, denounced in scripture against evil-doers,
comprehending murderers, robbers, thieves, and whore
mongers. The variety of attention exhibited in the faces of those
ragamuffins, formed a groupe that would not have disgraced the
pencil of a Raphael. In one, it denoted admiration; in another,
doubt; in a third, disdain; in a fourth, contempt; in a fifth,
terror; in a sixth, derision; and in a seventh, indignation. -- As
for Mrs Winifred Jenkins, she was in tears, overwhelmed with
sorrow; but whether for her own sins, or the misfortune of
Clinker, I cannot pretend to say. The other females seemed to
listen with a mixture of wonder and devotion. The gaoler's wife
declared he was a saint in trouble, saying, she wished from her
heart there was such another good soul, like him, in every gaol
in England.

Mr Mead, having earnestly surveyed the preacher, declared his
appearance was so different from that of the person who robbed
him on Black-heath, that he could freely make oath he was not the
man: but Humphry himself was by this time pretty well rid of all
apprehensions of being hanged; for he had been the night before
solemnly tried and acquitted by his fellow prisoners, some of
whom he had already converted to methodism. He now made proper
acknowledgments for the honour of our visit, and was permitted to
kiss the hands of the ladies, who assured him, he might depend
upon their friendship and protection. Lady Griskin, in her great
zeal, exhorted his fellow-prisoners to profit by the precious
opportunity of having such a saint in bonds among them, and turn
over a new leaf for the benefit of their poor souls; and, that
her admonition might have the greater effect, she reinforced it
with her bounty.

While she and Mrs Tabby returned in the coach with the two
maidservants, I waited on Mr Mead to the house of justice
Buzzard, who, having heard his declaration, said his oath could
be of no use at present, but that he would be a material evidence
for the prisoner at his trial; so that there seems to be no
remedy but patience for poor Clinker; and, indeed, the same
virtue, or medicine, will be necessary for us all, the squire in
particular, who had set his heart upon his excursion to the
northward.

While we were visiting honest Humphry in Clerkenwell prison, my
uncle received a much more extraordinary visit at his own
lodgings. Mr Martin, of whom I have made such honourable mention,
desired permission to pay him his respects, and was admitted
accordingly. He told him, that having observed him, at Mr
Buzzard's, a good deal disturbed by what had happened to his
servant, he had come to assure him he had nothing to apprehend
for Clinker's life; for, if it was possible that any jury could
find him guilty upon such evidence, he, Martin himself, would
produce in court a person, whose deposition would bring him off
clear as the sun at noon. -- Sure, the fellow would not be so
romantic as to take the robbery upon himself! -- He said, the
postilion was an infamous fellow, who had been a dabbler in the
same profession, and saved his life at the Old Bailey by
impeaching his companions; that being now reduced to great
poverty, he had made this desperate push, to swear away the life
of an innocent man, in hopes of having the reward upon his
conviction; but that he would find himself miserably
disappointed, for the justice and his myrmidons were determined
to admit of no interloper in this branch of business; and that he
did not at all doubt but that they would find matter enough to
shop the evidence himself before the next gaol-delivery. He
affirmed, that all these circumstances were well known to the
justice; and that his severity to Clinker was no other than a
hint to his master to make him a present in private, as an
acknowledgment of his candour and humanity.

This hint, however, was so unpalatable to Mr Bramble, that he
declared, with great warmth, he would rather confine himself for
life to London, which he detested, than be at liberty to leave it
tomorrow, in consequence of encouraging corruption in a
magistrate. Hearing, however, how favourable Mr Mead's report had
been for the prisoner, he is resolved to take the advice of
counsel in what manner to proceed for his immediate enlargement.
I make no doubt, but that in a day or two this troublesome
business may be discussed; and in this hope we are preparing for
our journey. If our endeavours do not miscarry, we shall have
taken the field before you hear again from

Yours,
J. MELFORD
LONDON, June 11

To Dr LEWIS.

Thank Heaven! dear Lewis, the clouds are dispersed, and I have
now the clearest prospect of my summer campaign, which, I hope, I
shall be able to begin to-morrow. I took the advice of counsel
with respect to the case of Clinker, in whose favour a lucky
incident has intervened. The fellow who accused him, has had his
own battery turned upon himself. -- Two days ago he was apprehended
for a robbery on the highway, and committed, on the evidence of
an accomplice. Clinker, having moved for a writ of habeas corpus,
was brought before the lord chief justice, who, in consequence of
an affidavit of the gentleman who had been robbed, importing that
the said Clinker was not the person who stopped him on the
highway, as well as in consideration of the postilion's character
and present circumstances, was pleased to order, that my servant
should be admitted to bail, and he has been discharged
accordingly, to the unspeakable satisfaction of our whole family,
to which he has recommended himself in an extraordinary manner,
not only by his obliging deportment, but by his talents of
preaching, praying, and singing psalms, which he has exercised
with such effect, that even Tabby respects him as a chosen
vessel. If there was any thing like affectation or hypocrisy in
this excess of religion, I would not keep him in my service, but,
so far as I can observe, the fellow's character is downright
simplicity, warmed with a kind of enthusiasm, which renders him
very susceptible of gratitude and attachment to his benefactors.

As he is an excellent horseman, and understands farriery, I have
bought a stout gelding for his use, that he may attend us on the
road, and have an eye to our cattle, in case the coachman should
not mind his business. My nephew, who is to ride his own saddle-horse,
has taken, upon trial, a servant just come from abroad
with his former master, Sir William Strollop, who vouches for his
honesty. The fellow, whose name is Dutton, seems to be a petit
maitre. -- He has got a smattering of French, bows, and grins, and
shrugs, and takes snuff a la mode de France, but values himself
chiefly upon his skill and dexterity in hair-dressing. -- If I am
not much deceived by appearance, he is, in all respects, the very
contrast of Humphry Clinker.

My sister has made up matters with lady Griskin; though, I must
own, I should not have been sorry to see that connexion entirely
destroyed: but Tabby is not of a disposition to forgive Barton,
who, I understand, is gone to his seat in Berkshire for the
summer season. I cannot help suspecting, that in the treaty of
peace, which has been lately ratified betwixt those two females,
it is stipulated, that her ladyship shall use her best endeavours
to provide an agreeable help-mate for our sister Tabitha, who
seems to be quite desperate in her matrimonial designs. Perhaps,
the match-maker is to have a valuable consideration in the way of
brokerage, which she will most certainly deserve, if she can find
any man in his senses, who will yoke with Mrs Bramble from
motives of affection or interest.

I find my spirits and my health affect each other reciprocally
that is to say, every thing that discomposes my mind, produces a
correspondent disorder in my body; and my bodily complaints are
remarkably mitigated by those considerations that dissipate the
clouds of mental chagrin. -- The imprisonment of Clinker brought on
those symptoms which I mentioned in my last, and now they are
vanished at his discharge. -- It must be owned, indeed, I took some
of the tincture of ginseng, prepared according to your
prescription, and found it exceedingly grateful to the stomach;
but the pain and sickness continued to return, after short
intervals, till the anxiety of my mind was entirely removed, and
then I found myself perfectly at case. We have had fair weather
these ten days, to the astonishment of the Londoners, who think
it portentous. If you enjoy the same indulgence in Wales, I hope
Barns has got my hay made, and safe cocked by this time. As we
shall be in motion for some weeks, I cannot expect to hear from
you as usual; but I shall continue to write from every place at
which we make any halt, that you may know our track, in case it
should be necessary to communicate any thing to

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