The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

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In short, I have lived so riotously for some weeks, that my uncle
begins to be alarmed on the score of my constitution, and very
seriously observes, 'that all his own infirmities are owing to
such excesses indulged in his youth -- Mrs Tabitha says it would be
more to the advantage of my soul as well as body, if, instead of
frequenting these scenes of debauchery, I would accompany Mr
Moffat and her to hear a sermon of the reverend Mr M'Corkindale. --
Clinker often exhorts me, with a groan, to take care of my
precious health; and even Archy M'Alpine, when he happens to be
overtaken (which is oftener the case than I could wish), reads me
a long lecture upon temperance and sobriety; and is so very wise
and sententious, that, if I could provide him with a professor's
chair, I would willingly give up the benefit of his amonitions
and service together; for I was tutor-sick at alma mater.

I am not, however, so much engrossed by the gaieties of
Edinburgh, but that I find time to make parties in the family
way. We have not only seen all the villas and villages within ten
miles of the capital, but we have also crossed the Firth, which
is an arm of the sea seven miles broad, that divides Lothian from
the shire, or, as the Scots call it, the kingdom of Fife. There
is a number of large open sea-boats that ply on this passage
from Leith to Kinghorn, which is a borough on the other side.
In one of these our whole family embarked three days ago, excepting
my sister, who, being exceedingly fearful of the water, was left
to the care of Mrs Mitchelson. We had an easy and quick passage
into Fife, where we visited a number of poor towns on the sea-side,
including St Andrew's, which is the skeleton of a venerable city;
but we were much better pleased with some noble and elegant seats
and castles, of which there is a great number in that part of
Scotland. Yesterday we took boat again on our return to Leith,
with fair wind and agreeable weather; but we had not advanced
half-way when the, sky was suddenly overcast, and the wind
changing, blew directly in our teeth so that we were obliged to
turn, or tack the rest of the way. In a word, the gale increased
to a storm of wind and rain, attended with such a fog, that we
could not see the town of Leith, to which we were bound, nor even
the castle of Edinburgh, notwithstanding its high situation. It
is not to be doubted but that we were all alarmed on this
occasion. And at the same time, most of the passengers were
seized with a nausea that produced violent retchings. My aunt
desired her brother to order the boatmen, to put back to
Kinghorn, and this expedient he actually proposed; but they
assured him there was no danger. Mrs Tabitha finding them
obstinate, began to scold, and insisted upon my uncle's exerting
his authority as a justice of the peace. Sick and peevish as he
was, he could not help laughing at this wise proposal, telling
her, that his commission did not extend so far, and, if it did,
he should let the people take their own way; for he thought it
would be great presumption in him to direct them in the exercise
of their own profession. Mrs Winifred Jenkins made a general
clearance with the assistance of Mr Humphry Clinker, who joined
her both in prayer and ejaculation. -- As he took it for granted
that we should not be long in this world, he offered some
spiritual consolation to Mrs Tabitha, who rejected it with great
disgust, bidding him keep his sermons for those who had leisure
to hear such nonsense. -- My uncle sat, collected in himself,
without speaking; my man Archy had recourse to a brandy-bottle,
with which he made so free, that I imagined he had sworn to die
of drinking any thing rather than sea-water: but the brandy had
no more effect upon him in the way of intoxication, than if it
had been sea-water in good earnest. -- As for myself, I was too
much engrossed by the sickness at my stomach, to think of any
thing else. Meanwhile the sea swelled mountains high, the boat
pitched with such violence, as if it had been going to pieces;
the cordage rattled, the wind roared; the lightning flashed, the
thunder bellowed, and the rain descended in a deluge -- Every time
the vessel was put about, we ship'd a sea that drenched us all to
the skin. -- When, by dint of turning, we thought to have cleared
the pier head, we were driven to leeward, and then the boatmen
themselves began to fear that the tide would fail before we
should fetch up our lee-way: the next trip, however, brought us
into smooth water, and we were safely landed on the quay, about
one o'clock in the afternoon. -- 'To be sure (cried Tabby, when she
found herself on terra firma), we must all have perished, if we
had not been the particular care of Providence.' 'Yes (replied my
uncle), but I am much of the honest highlander's mind -- after he
had made such a passage as this: his friend told him he was much
indebted to Providence; -- "Certainly (said Donald), but, by my
saul, mon, I'se ne'er trouble Providence again, so long as the
brig of Stirling stands."' -- You must know the brig, or bridge of
Stirling, stands above twenty miles up the river Forth, of which
this is the outlet -- I don't find that our 'squire has suffered in
his health from this adventure; but poor Liddy is in a peaking
way -- I'm afraid this unfortunate girl is uneasy in her mind; and
this apprehension distracts me, for she is really an amiable
creature.

We shall set out to-morrow or next day for Stirling and Glasgow;
and we propose to penetrate a little way into the Highlands,
before we turn our course to the southward -- In the mean time,
commend me to all our friends round Carfax, and believe me to be,
ever yours,

EDINBURGH, Aug. 8.
J. MELFORD

To Dr LEWIS.

I should be very ungrateful, dear Lewis, if I did not find myself
disposed to think and speak favourably of this people, among whom
I have met with more kindness, hospitality, and rational
entertainment, in a few weeks, than ever I received in any other
country during the whole course of my life. -- Perhaps, the
gratitude excited by these benefits may interfere with the
impartiality of my remarks; for a man is as apt to be
prepossessed by particular favours as to be prejudiced by private
motives of disgust. If I am partial, there is, at least, some
merit in my conversion from illiberal prejudices which had grown
up with my constitution.

The first impressions which an Englishman receives in this
country, will not contribute to the removal of his prejudices;
because he refers every thing he sees to a comparison with the
same articles in his own country; and this comparison is
unfavourable to Scotland in all its exteriors, such as the face
of the country in respect to cultivation, the appearance of the
bulk of the people, and the language of conversation in general. --
I am not so far convinced by Mr Lismahago's arguments, but that
I think the Scots would do well, for their own sakes, to adopt
the English idioms and pronunciation; those of them especially,
who are resolved to push their fortunes in South-Britain -- I know,
by experience, how easily an Englishman is influenced by the ear,
and how apt he is to laugh, when he hears his own language spoken
with a foreign or provincial accent -- I have known a member of the
house of commons speak with great energy and precision, without
being able to engage attention, because his observations were
made in the Scotch dialect, which (no offence to lieutenant
Lismahago) certainly gives a clownish air even to sentiments of
the greatest dignity and decorum. -- I have declared my opinion on
this head to some of the most sensible men of this country,
observing, at the same time, that if they would employ a few
natives of England to teach the pronunciation of our vernacular
tongue, in twenty years there would be no difference, in point of
dialect, between the youth of Edinburgh and of London.

The civil regulations of this kingdom and metropolis are taken
from very different models from those of England, except in a few
particular establishments, the necessary consequences of the
union. -- Their college of justice is a bench of great dignity,
filled with judges of character and ability. -- I have heard some
causes tried before this venerable tribunal; and was very much
pleased with the pleadings of their advocates, who are by no
means deficient either in argument or elocution. The Scottish
legislation is founded, in a great measure, on the civil law;
consequently, their proceedings vary from those of the English
tribunals; but, I think, they have the advantage of us in their
method of examining witnesses apart, and in the constitution of
their jury, by which they certainly avoid the evil which I
mentioned in my last from Lismahago's observation.

The university of Edinburgh is supplied with excellent professors
in all the sciences; and the medical school, in particular, is
famous all over Europe. -- The students of this art have the best
opportunity of learning it to perfection, in all its branches, as
there are different courses for the theory of medicine and the
practice of medicine; for anatomy, chemistry, botany, and the
materia medica, over and above those of mathematics and
experimental philosophy; and all these are given by men of
distinguished talents. What renders this part of education still
more complete, is the advantage of attending the infirmary, which
is the best instituted charitable foundation that I ever knew.
Now we are talking of charities, here are several hospitals,
exceedingly well endowed, and maintained under admirable
regulations; and these are not only useful, but ornamental to the
city. Among these, I shall only mention the general work-house,
in which all the poor, not otherwise provided for, are employed,
according to their different abilities, with such judgment and
effect, that they nearly maintain themselves by their labour, and
there is not a beggar to be seen within the precincts of this
metropolis. It was Glasgow that set the example of this
establishment, about thirty years ago. -- Even the kirk of
Scotland, so long reproached with fanaticism and canting, abounds
at present with ministers celebrated for their learning, and
respectable for their moderation. -- I have heard their sermons
with equal astonishment and pleasure. -- The good people of
Edinburgh no longer think dirt and cobwebs essential to the house
of God. -- Some of their churches have admitted such ornaments as
would have excited sedition, even in England, a little more than
a century ago; and Psalmody is here practised and taught by a
professor from the cathedral of Durham: -- I should not be
surprised, in a few years, to hear it accompanied with an organ.

Edinburgh is a hot-bed of genius. -- I have had the good fortune to
be made acquainted with many authors of the first distinction;
such as the two Humes, Robertson, Smith, Wallace, Blair,
Ferguson, Wilkie, &c. and I have found them all as agreeable in
conversation as they are instructive and entertaining in their
writings. These acquaintances I owe to the friendship of Dr
Carlyle, who wants nothing but inclination to figure with the
rest upon paper. The magistracy of Edinburgh is changed every
year by election, and seems to be very well adapted both for
state and authority. -- The lord provost is equal in dignity to the
lord mayor of London; and the four bailies are equivalent to the
rank of aldermen. -- There is a dean of guild, who takes cognizance
of mercantile affairs; a treasurer; a town-clerk; and the council
is composed of deacons, one of whom is returned every year, in
rotation, as representative of every company of artificers or
handicraftsmen. Though this city, from the nature of its
situation, can never be made either very convenient or very
cleanly, it has, nevertheless, an air of magnificence that
commands respect. -- The castle is an instance of the sublime in
scite and architecture. -- Its fortifications are kept in good
order, and there is always in it a garrison of regular soldiers,
which is relieved every year; but it is incapable of sustaining a
siege carried on according to the modern operations of war. -- The
castle hill, which extends from the outward gate to the upper end
of the high street, is used as a public walk for the citizens,
and commands a prospect, equally extensive and delightful, over
the county of Fife, on the other side of the Frith, and all along
the sea-coast, which is covered with a succession of towns that
would seem to indicate a considerable share of commerce; but, if
the truth must be told, these towns have been falling to decay
ever since the union, by which the Scots were in a great measure
deprived of their trade with France. -- The palace of Holyrood-house
is a jewel in architecture, thrust into a hollow where it
cannot be seen; a situation which was certainly not chosen by the
ingenious architect, who must have been confined to the site of
the old palace, which was a convent. Edinburgh is considerably
extended on the south side, where there are divers little elegant
squares built in the English manner; and the citizens have
planned some improvements on the north, which, when put in
execution, will add greatly to the beauty and convenience of this
capital.

The sea-port is Leith, a flourishing town, about a mile from the
city, in the harbour of which I have seen above one hundred ships
lying all together. You must know, I had the curiosity to cross
the Frith in a passage boat, and stayed two days in Fife, which
is remarkably fruitful in corn, and exhibits a surprising number
of fine seats, elegantly built, and magnificently furnished.
There is an incredible number of noble houses in every part of
Scotland that I have seen. -- Dalkeith, Pinkie, Yester, and lord
Hopton's [Hopetoun's], all of them within four or five miles of
Edinburgh, are princely palaces, in every one of which a
sovereign might reside at his case. -- I suppose the Scots affect
these monuments of grandeur. -- If I may be allowed to mingle
censure with my remarks upon a people I revere, I must observe,
that their weak side seems to be vanity. -- I am afraid that even
their hospitality is not quite free of ostentation. I think I
have discovered among them uncommon pains taken to display their
fine linen, of which, indeed, they have great plenty, their
furniture, plate, housekeeping, and variety of wines, in which
article, it must be owned, they are profuse, if not prodigal -- A
burgher of Edinburgh, not content to vie with a citizen of
London, who has ten times his fortune, must excel him in the
expence as well as elegance of his entertainments.

Though the villas of the Scotch nobility and gentry have
generally an air of grandeur and state, I think their gardens and
parks are not comparable to those of England; a circumstance the
more remarkable, as I was told by the ingenious Mr Phillip Miller
of Chelsea, that almost all the gardeners of South-Britain were
natives of Scotland. The verdure of this country is not equal to
that of England. -- The pleasure-grounds are, in my opinion, not so
well laid out according to the genius loci; nor are the lawns,
and walks, and hedges kept in such delicate order. -- The trees are
planted in prudish rows, which have not such an agreeable natural
effect, as when they are thrown into irregular groupes, with
intervening glades; and firs, which they generally raise around
their houses, look dull and funereal in the summer season. -- I
must confess, indeed, that they yield serviceable timber, and
good shelter against the northern blasts; that they grow and
thrive in the most barren soil, and continually perspire a fine
balsam of turpentine, which must render the air very salutary and
sanative to lungs of a tender texture.

Tabby and I have been both frightened in our return by sea from
the coast of Fife -- She was afraid of drowning, and I of catching
cold, in consequence of being drenched with sea-water; but my
fears as well as hers, have been happily disappointed. She is now
in perfect health; I wish I could say the same of Liddy --
Something uncommon is the matter with that poor girl; her colour
fades, her appetite fails, and her spirits flag -- She is become
moping and melancholy, and is often found in tears -- Her brother
suspects internal uneasiness on account of Wilson, and denounces
vengeance against that adventurer. -- She was, it seems, strongly
affected at the ball by the sudden appearance of one Mr Gordon,
who strongly resembles the said Wilson; but I am rather
suspicious that she caught cold by being overheated with
dancing. -- I have consulted Dr Gregory, an eminent physician of an
amiable character, who advises the highland air, and the use of
goat-milk whey, which, surely, cannot have a bad effect upon a
patient who was born and bred among the mountains of Wales -- The
doctors opinion is the more agreeable, as we shall find those
remedies in the very place which I proposed as the utmost extent
of our expedition -- I mean the borders of Argyle.

Mr Smollett, one of the judges of the commissary court, which is
now sitting, has very kindly insisted upon our lodging at his
country-house, on the banks of Lough-Lomond, about fourteen miles
beyond Glasgow. For this last city we shall set out in two days,
and take Stirling in our way, well provided with recommendations
from our friends at Edinburgh, whom, I protest, I shall leave
with much regret. I am so far from thinking it any hardship to
live in this country, that, if I was obliged to lead a town life,
Edinburgh would certainly be the headquarters of

Yours always,
MATT. BRAMBLE
EDIN., August 8.

To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS, Bart. of Jesus college, Oxon.

DEAR KNIGHT,

I am now little short of the Ultima Thule, if this appellation
properly belongs to the Orkneys or Hebrides. These last are now
lying before me, to the amount of some hundreds, scattered up and
down the Deucalidonian sea, affording the most picturesque and
romantic prospect I ever beheld -- I write this letter in a
gentleman's house, near the town of Inverary which may be deemed
the capital of the West Highlands, famous for nothing so much as
for the stately castle begun, and actually covered in by the late
duke of Argyle, at a prodigious expence -- Whether it will ever be
completely finished is a question. --

But, to take things in order -- We left Edinburgh ten days ago; and
the further North we proceed, we find Mrs Tabitha the less
manageable; so that her inclinations are not of the nature of the
loadstone; they point not towards the pole. What made her leave
Edinburgh with reluctance at last, if we may believe her own
assertions, was a dispute which she left unfinished with Mr
Moffat, touching the eternity of hell torments. That gentleman,
as he advanced in years, began to be sceptical on this head,
till, at length, he declared open war against the common
acceptation of the word eternal. He is now persuaded, that
eternal signifies no more than an indefinite number of years; and
that the most enormous sinner may be quit for nine millions, nine
hundred thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine years of hell-
fire; which term or period, as he very well observes, forms but
an inconsiderable drop, as it were, in the ocean of eternity -- For
this mitigation he contends, as a system agreeable to the ideas
of goodness and mercy, which we annex to the supreme Being -- Our
aunt seemed willing to adopt this doctrine in favour of the
wicked; but he hinted that no person whatever was so righteous as
to be exempted entirely from punishment in a future state; and
that the most pious Christian upon earth might think himself very
happy to get off for a fast of seven or eight thousand years in
the midst of fire and brimstone. Mrs Tabitha revolted at this
dogma, which filled her at once with horror and indignation -- She
had recourse to the opinion of Humphry Clinker, who roundly
declared it was the popish doctrine of purgatory, and quoted
scripture in defence of the fire everlasting, prepared for the
devil and his angels -- The reverend master Mackcorkendal, and all
the theologists and saints of that persuasion were consulted, and
some of them had doubts about the matter; which doubts and
scruples had begun to infect our aunt, when we took our departure
from Edinburgh.

We passed through Linlithgow, where there was an elegant royal
palace, which is now gone to decay, as well as the town itself --
This too is pretty much the case with Stirling, though it still
boasts of a fine old castle in which the kings of Scotland were
wont to reside in their minority -- But Glasgow is the pride of
Scotland, and, indeed, it might very well pass for an elegant and
flourishing city in any part of Christendom. There we had the
good fortune to be received into the house of Mr Moore, an
eminent surgeon, to whom we were recommended by one of our
friends at Edinburgh; and, truly, he could not have done us more
essential service -- Mr Moore is a merry facetious companion,
sensible and shrewd, with a considerable fund of humour; and his
wife an agreeable woman, well bred, kind, and obliging. Kindness,
which I take to be the essence of good-nature and humanity, is
the distinguishing characteristic of the Scotch ladies in their
own country -- Our landlord shewed us every thing, and introduced
us to all the world at Glasgow; where, through his
recommendation, we were complimented with the freedom of the
town. Considering the trade and opulence of this place, it cannot
but abound with gaiety and diversions. Here is a great number of
young fellows that rival the youth of the capital in spirit and
expence; and I was soon convinced, that all the female beauties
of Scotland were not assembled at the hunters ball in Edinburgh --
The town of Glasgow flourishes in learning as well as in
commerce -- Here is an university, with professors in all the
different branches of science, liberally endowed, and judiciously
chosen -- It was vacation time when I passed, so that I could not
entirely satisfy my curiosity; but their mode of education is
certainly preferable to ours in some respects. The students are
not left to the private instruction of tutors; but taught in
public schools or classes, each science by its particular
professor or regent.

My uncle is in raptures with Glasgow -- He not only visited all the
manufactures of the place, but made excursions all round to
Hamilton, Paisley, Renfrew, and every other place within a dozen
miles, where there was any thing remarkable to be seen in art or
nature. I believe the exercise, occasioned by those jaunts, was
of service to my sister Liddy, whose appetite and spirits begin
to revive -- Mrs Tabitha displayed her attractions as usual, and
actually believed she had entangled one Mr Maclellan, a rich
inkle-manufacturer, in her snares; but when matters came to an
explanation, it appeared that his attachment was altogether
spiritual, founded upon an intercourse of devotion, at the
meeting of Mr John Wesley; who, in the course of his evangelical
mission, had come hither in person -- At length, we set out for the
banks of Lough-Lomond, passing through the little borough of
Dumbarton, or (as my uncle will have it) Dunbritton, where there
is a castle, more curious than any thing of the kind I had ever
seen. It is honoured with a particular description by the elegant
Buchanan, as an arx inexpugnabilis, and, indeed, it must have
been impregnable by the antient manner of besieging. It is a rock
of considerable extent, rising with a double top, in an angle
formed by the confluence of two rivers, the Clyde and the Leven;
perpendicular and inaccessible on all sides, except in one place
where the entrance is fortified; and there is no rising ground in
the neighbourhood from whence it could be damaged by any kind of
battery.

From Dumbarton, the West Highlands appear in the form of huge,
dusky mountains, piled one over another; but this prospect is not
at all surprising to a native of Glamorgan -- We have fixed our
headquarters at Cameron, a very neat country-house belonging to
commissary Smollet, where we found every sort of accommodation we
could desire -- It is situated like a Druid's temple, in a grove of
oak, close by the side of Lough-Lomond, which is a surprising
body of pure transparent water, unfathomably deep in many places,
six or seven miles broad, four and twenty miles in length,
displaying above twenty green islands, covered with wood; some of
them cultivated for corn, and many of them stocked with red deer --
They belong to different gentlemen, whose seats are scattered
along the banks of the lake, which are agreeably romantic beyond
all conception. My uncle and I have left the women at Cameron, as
Mrs Tabitha would by no means trust herself again upon the water,
and to come hither it was necessary to cross a small inlet of the
sea, in an open ferry-boat -- This country appears more and more
wild and savage the further we advance; and the People are as
different from the Low-land Scots, in their looks, garb, and
language, as the mountaineers of Brecknock are from the
inhabitants of Herefordshire.

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