The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

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When the Lowlanders want to drink a chearupping-cup, they go to
the public house, called the Change-house, and call for a chopine
of two-penny, which is a thin, yeasty beverage, made of malt; not
quite so strong as the table-beer of England, -- This is brought in
a pewter stoop, shaped like a skittle, from whence it is emptied
into a quaff; that is, a curious cup made of different pieces of
wood, such as box and ebony, cut into little staves, joined
alternately, and secured with delicate hoops, having two cars or
handles -- It holds about a gill, is sometimes tipt round the mouth
with silver, and has a plate of the same metal at bottom, with
the landlord's cypher engraved. -- The Highlanders, on the
contrary, despise this liquor, and regale themselves with whisky;
a malt spirit, as strong as geneva, which they swallow in great
quantities, without any signs of inebriation. They are used to it
from the cradle, and find it an excellent preservative against
the winter cold, which must be extreme on these mountains -- I am
told that it is given with great success to infants, as a cordial
in the confluent smallpox, when the eruption seems to flag, and
the symptoms grow unfavourable -- The Highlanders are used to eat
much more animal food than falls to the share of their neighbours
in the Low-country -- They delight in hunting; have plenty of deer
and other game, with a great number of sheep, goats, and black-cattle
running wild, which they scruple not to kill as vension,
without being much at pains to ascertain the property.

Inverary is but a poor town, though it stands immediately under
the protection of the duke of Argyle, who is a mighty prince in
this part of Scotland. The peasants live in wretched cabins, and
seem very poor; but the gentlemen are tolerably well lodged, and
so loving to strangers, that a man runs some risque of his life
from their hospitality -- It must be observed that the poor
Highlanders are now seen to disadvantage. They have been not only
disarmed by act of parliament, but also deprived of their ancient
garb, which was both graceful and convenient; and what is a
greater hardship still, they are compelled to wear breeches; a
restraint which they cannot bear with any degree of patience:
indeed, the majority wear them, not in the proper place, but on
poles or long staves over their shoulders -- They are even debarred
the use of their striped stuff called Tartane, which was their
own manufacture, prized by them above all the velvets, brocades,
and tissues of Europe and Asia. They now lounge along in loose
great coats, of coarse russet, equally mean and cumbersome, and
betray manifest marks of dejection -- Certain it is, the government
could not have taken a more effectual method to break their
national spirit.

We have had princely sport in hunting the stag on these mountains.
These are the lonely hills of Morven, where Fingal and his heroes
enjoyed the same pastime; I feel an enthusiastic pleasure when I
survey the brown heath that Ossian wont to tread; and hear the
wind whistle through the bending grass -- When I enter our
landlord's hall, I look for the suspended harp of that divine
bard, and listen in hopes of hearing the aerial sound of his
respected spirit -- The poems of Ossian are in every mouth -- A
famous antiquarian of this country, the laird of Macfarlane, at
whose house we dined a few days ago, can repeat them all in the
original Gallick, which has a great affinity to the Welch, not
only in the general sound, but also in a great number of radical
words; and I make no doubt that they are both sprung from the
same origin. I was not a little surprised, when asking a
Highlander one day, if he knew where we should find any game? he
replied, 'hu niel Sassenagh', which signifies no English: the
very same answer I should have received from a Welchman, and
almost in the same words. The Highlanders have no other name for
the people of the Low-country, but Sassenagh, or Saxons; a strong
presumption, that the Lowland Scots and the English are derived
from the same stock -- The peasants of these hills strongly
resemble those of Wales in their looks, their manners, and
habitations; every thing I see , and hear, and feel, seems Welch --
The mountains, vales, and streams; the air and climate; the
beef, mutton, and game, are all Welch -- It must be owned, however,
that this people are better Provided than we in some articles --
They have plenty of red deer and roebuck, which are fat and
delicious at this season of the year. Their sea teems with amazing
quantities of the finest fish in the world. and they find means
to procure very good claret at a very small expence.

Our landlord is a man of consequence in this part of the country;
a cadet from the family of Argyle and hereditary captain of one
of his castles -- His name, in plain English, is Dougal Campbell;
but as there is a great number of the same appellation, they are
distinguished (like the Welch) by patronimics; and as I have
known an antient Briton called Madoc ap-Morgan ap-Jenkin, ap-Jones,
our Highland chief designs himself Dou'l Mac-amish mac-'oul ichian,
signifying Dougal, the son of James, the son of
Dougal, the son of John. He has travelled in the course of his
education, and is disposed to make certain alterations in his
domestic oeconomy; but he finds it impossible to abolish the
ancient customs of the family; some of which are ludicrous
enough -- His piper for example, who is an hereditary officer of
the household, will not part with the least particle of his
privileges. He has a right to wear the kilt, or ancient Highland
dress, with the purse, pistol, and durk -- a broad yellow ribbon,
fixed to the chanter-pipe, is thrown over his shoulder, and
trails along the ground, while he performs the function of his
minstrelsy; and this, I suppose, is analogous to the pennon or
flag which was formerly carried before every knight in battle. --
He plays before the laird every Sunday in his way to the kirk,
which he circles three times, performing the family march which
implies defiance to all the enemies of the clan; and every
morning he plays a full hour by the clock, in the great hall,
marching backwards and forwards all the time, with a solemn pace,
attended by the laird's kinsmen, who seem much delighted with the
music -- In this exercise, he indulges them with a variety of
pibrochs or airs, suited to the different passions, which he
would either excite or assuage.

Mr Campbell himself, who performs very well on the violin, has an
invincible antipathy to the sound of the Highland bagpipe, which
sings in the nose with a most alarming twang, and, indeed, is
quite intolerable to ears of common sensibility, when aggravated
by the echo of a vaulted hall -- He therefore begged the piper
would have some mercy upon him, and dispense with this part of
the morning service -- A consultation of the clan being held on
this occasion, it was unanimously agreed, that the laird's
request could not be granted without a dangerous encroachment
upon the customs of the family -- The piper declared, he could not
give up for a moment the privilege he derived from his ancestors;
nor would the laird's relations forego an entertainment which
they valued above all others -- There was no remedy; Mr Campbell,
being obliged to acquiesce, is fain to stop his ears with cotton;
to fortify his head with three or four night-caps and every
morning retire into the penetralia of his habitation, in order to
avoid this diurnal annoyance. When the music ceases, he produces
himself at an open window that looks into the courtyard, which is
by this time filled with a crowd of his vassals and dependents,
who worship his first appearance, by uncovering their heads, and
bowing to the earth with the most humble prostration. As all
these people have something to communicate in the way of
proposal, complaint, or petition, they wait patiently till the
laird comes forth, and, following him in his walks, are favoured
each with a short audience in his turn. Two days ago, he
dispatched above an hundred different sollicitors, in walking
with us to the house of a neighbouring gentleman, where we dined
by invitation. Our landlord's housekeeping is equally rough and
hospitable, and savours much of the simplicity of ancient times:
the great hall, paved with flat stones, is about forty-five feet
by twenty-two, and serves not only for a dining-room, but also
for a bedchamber, to gentlemen-dependents and hangers-on of the
family. At night, half a dozen occasional beds are ranged on each
side along the wall. These are made of fresh heath, pulled up by
the roots, and disposed in such a manner as to make a very
agreeable couch, where they lie, without any other covering than
the plaid -- My uncle and I were indulged with separate chambers
and down beds which we begged to exchange for a layer of heath;
and indeed I never slept so much to my satisfaction. It was not
only soft and elastic, but the plant, being in flower, diffused
an agreeable fragrance, which is wonderfully refreshing and
restorative.

Yesterday we were invited to the funeral of an old lady, the
grandmother of a gentleman in this neighbourhood, and found
ourselves in the midst of fifty people, who were regaled with a
sumptuous feast, accompanied by the music of a dozen pipers. In
short, this meeting had all the air of a grand festival; and the
guests did such honour to the entertainment, that many of them
could not stand when we were reminded of the business on which
we had met. The company forthwith taking horse, rode in a very
irregular cavalcade to the place of interment, a church, at the
distance of two long miles from the castle. On our arrival,
however, we found we had committed a small oversight, in leaving
the corpse behind; so we were obliged to wheel about, and met the
old gentlewoman half way, being carried upon poles by the nearest
relations of her family, and attended by the coronach, composed
of a multitude of old hags, who tore their hair, beat their
breasts, and howled most hideously. At the grave, the orator, or
senachie, pronounced the panegyric of the defunct, every period
being confirmed by a yell of the coronach. The body was committed
to the earth, the pipers playing a pibroch all the time; and all
the company standing uncovered. The ceremony was closed with the
discharge of pistols; then we returned to the castle, resumed the
bottle, and by midnight there was not a sober person in the
family, the females excepted. The 'squire and I were, with some
difficulty, permitted to retire with our landlord in the evening;
but our entertainer was a little chagrined at our retreat; and
afterwards seemed to think it a disparagement to his family, that
not above a hundred gallons of whisky had been drunk upon such a
solemn occasion. This morning we got up by four, to hunt the
roebuck, and, in half an hour, found breakfast ready served in
the hall. The hunters consisted of Sir George Colquhoun and me,
as strangers (my uncle not chusing to be of the party), of the
laird in person, the laird's brother, the laird's brother's son,
the laird's sister's son, the laird's father's brother's son, and
all their foster brothers, who are counted parcel of the family:
but we were attended by an infinite number of Gaelly's, or ragged
Highlanders without shoes or stockings.

The following articles formed our morning's repast: one kit of
boiled eggs; a second, full of butter; a third full of cream; an
entire cheese, made of goat's milk; a large earthen pot full of
honey; the best part of a ham; a cold venison pasty; a bushel of
oat meal, made in thin cakes and bannocks, with a small wheaten
loaf in the middle for the strangers; a large stone bottle full
of whisky, another of brandy, and a kilderkin of ale. There was
a ladle chained to the cream kit, with curious wooden bickers to
be filled from this reservoir. The spirits were drank out of a
silver quaff, and the ale out of hems: great justice was done to
the collation by the guest in general; one of them in particular
ate above two dozen of hard eggs, with a proportionable quantity
of bread, butter, and honey; nor was one drop of liquor left upon
the board. Finally, a large roll of tobacco was presented by way
of desert, and every individual took a comfortable quid, to
prevent the bad effects of the morning air. We had a fine chace
over the mountains, after a roebuck, which we killed, and I got
home time enough to drink tea with Mrs Campbell and our 'squire.
To-morrow we shall set out on our return for Cameron. We propose
to cross the Frith of Clyde, and take the towns of Greenock and
Port-Glasgow in our way. This circuit being finished, we shall
turn our faces to the south, and follow the sun with augmented
velocity, in order to enjoy the rest of the autumn in England,
where Boreas is not quite so biting as he begins already to be on
the tops of these northern hills. But our progress from place to
place shall continue to be specified in these detached journals of

Yours always,
J. MELFORD
ARGYLSHIRE, Sept. 3.

To Dr LEWIS.

DEAR DICK,

About a fortnight is now elapsed, since we left the capital of
Scotland, directing our course towards Stirling, where we lay. The
castle of this place is such another as that of Edinburgh, and
affords a surprising prospect of the windings of the river Forth,
which are so extraordinary, that the distance from hence to Alloa
by land, is but forty miles, and by water it is twenty-four.
Alloa is a neat thriving town, that depends in a great measure on
the commerce of Glasgow, the merchants of which send hither
tobacco and other articles, to be deposited in warehouses for
exportation from the Frith of Forth. In our way hither we visited
a flourishing iron-work, where, instead of burning wood, they use
coal, which they have the art of clearing in such a manner as
frees it from the sulphur, that would otherwise render the metal
too brittle for working. Excellent coal is found in almost every
part of Scotland.

The soil of this district produces scarce any other grain but
oats, lid barley; perhaps because it is poorly cultivated, and
almost altogether uninclosed. The few inclosures they have
consist of paultry walls of loose stones gathered from the
fields, which indeed they cover, as if they had been scattered on
purpose. When I expressed my surprize that the peasants did not
disencumber their grounds of these stones; a gentleman, well
acquainted with the theory as well as practice of farming,
assured me that the stones, far from being prejudicial, were
serviceable to the crop. This philosopher had ordered a field of
his own to be cleared, manured and sown with barley, and the
produce was more scanty than before. He caused the stones to be
replaced, and next year the crop was as good as ever. The stones
were removed a second time, and the harvest failed; they were
again brought back, and the ground retrieved its fertility. The
same experiment has been tried in different parts of Scotland
with the same success--Astonished at this information, I desired
to know in what manner he accounted for this strange phenomenon;
and he said there were three ways in which the stones might be
serviceable. They might possibly restrain an excess in the
perspiration of the earth, analogous to colliquative sweats, by
which the human body is sometimes wasted and consumed. They might
act as so many fences to protect the tender blade from the
piercing winds of the spring; or, by multiplying the reflexion of
the sun, they might increase the warmth, so as to mitigate the
natural chilness of the soil and climate -- But, surely this
excessive perspiration might be more effectually checked by
different kinds of manure, such as ashes, lime, chalk, or marl,
of which last it seems there are many pits in this kingdom: as
for the warmth, it would be much more equally obtained by
inclosures; the cultivation would require less labour; and the
ploughs, harrows, and horses, would not suffer half the damage
which they now sustain.

These north-western parts are by no means fertile in corn. The
ground is naturally barren and moorish. The peasants are poorly
lodged, meagre in their looks, mean in their apparel, and
remarkably dirty. This last reproach they might easily wash off,
by means of those lakes, rivers, and rivulets of pure water, with
which they are so liberally supplied by nature. Agriculture
cannot be expected to flourish where the farms are small, the
leases short, and the husbandman begins upon a rack rent, without
a sufficient stock to answer the purposes of improvement. The
granaries of Scotland are the banks of the Tweed, the counties of
East and Mid-Lothian, the Carse of Gowrie, in Perthshire, equal
in fertility to any part of England, and some tracts in
Aberdeenshire and Murray, where I am told the harvest is more
early than in Northumberland, although they lie above two degrees
farther north. I have a strong curiosity to visit many places
beyond the Forth and the Tay, such as Perth, Dundee, Montrose,
and Aberdeen, which are towns equally elegant and thriving; but
the season is too far advanced to admit of this addition to my
original plan.

I am so far happy as to have seen Glasgow, which, to the best of
my recollection and judgment, is one of the prettiest towns in
Europe; and, without all doubt, it is one of the most flourishing
in Great Britain. In short, it is a perfect bee-hive in point of
industry. It stands partly on a gentle declivity; but the
greatest part of it is in a plain, watered by the river Clyde.
The streets are straight, open, airy, and well paved; and the
houses lofty and well built of hewn stone. At the upper end of
the town, there is a venerable cathedral, that may be compared
with York-minster or West-minster; and, about the middle of the
descent from this to the Cross, is the college, a respectable
pile of building, with all manner of accommodation for the
professors and students, including an elegant library, and a
observatory well provided with astronomical instruments. The
number of inhabitants is said to amount to thirty thousand; and
marks of opulence and independency appear in every quarter of
this commercial city, which, however, is not without its
inconveniences and defects. The water of their public pumps is
generally hard and brackish, an imperfection the loss excusable,
as the river Clyde runs by their doors, in the lower part of the
town; and there are rivulets and springs above the cathedral,
sufficient to fill a large reservoir with excellent water, which
might be thence distributed to all the different parts of the
city. It is of more consequence to consult the health of the
inhabitants in this article than to employ so much attention in
beautifying their town with new streets, squares, and churches.
Another defect, not so easily remedied, is the shallowness of the
river, which will not float vessels of any burthen within ten or
twelve miles of the city; so that the merchants are obliged to
load and unload their ships at Greenock and Port-Glasgow,
situated about fourteen miles nearer the mouth of the Frith,
where it is about two miles broad.

The people of Glasgow have a noble spirit of enterprise -- Mr
Moore, a surgeon, to whom I was recommended from Edinburgh,
introduced me to all the principal merchants of the place. Here I
became acquainted with Mr Cochran, who may be stiled one of the
sages of this kingdom. He was first magistrate at the time of the
last rebellion. I sat as member when he was examined in the house
of commons, upon which occasion Mr P-- observed he had never
heard such a sensible evidence given at that bar. I was also
introduced to Dr John Gordon, a patriot of a truly Roman spirit,
who is the father of the linen manufacture in this place, and was
the great promoter of the city workhouse, infirmary, and other
works of public utility. Had he lived in ancient Rome, he would
have been honoured with a statue at the public expence. I
moreover conversed with one Mr G--ssf--d, whom I take to be one
of the greatest merchants in Europe. In the last war, he is said
to have had at one time five and twenty ships with their cargoes,
his own property, and to have traded for above half a million
sterling a-year. The last war was a fortunate period for the
commerce of Glasgow -- The merchants, considering that their ships
bound for America, launching out at once into the Atlantic by the
north of Ireland, pursued a track very little frequented by
privateers, resolved to insure one another, and saved a very
considerable sum by this resolution, as few or none of their
ships were taken -- You must know I have a sort of national
attachment to this part of Scotland -- The great church dedicated
to St Mongah, the river Clyde, and other particulars that smack
of our Welch language and customs, contribute to flatter me with
the notion, that these people are the descendants of the Britons,
who once possessed this country. Without all question, this was a
Cumbrian kingdom: its capital was Dumbarton (a corruption of
Dunbritton) which still exists as a royal borough, at the influx
of the Clyde and Leven, ten miles below Glasgow. The same
neighbourhood gave birth to St Patrick, the apostle of Ireland,
at a place where there is still a church and village, which
retain his name. Hard by are some vestiges of the famous Roman
wall, built in the reign of Antonine, from the Clyde to the
Forth, and fortified with castles, to restrain the incursions of
the Scots or Caledonians, who inhabited the West-Highlands. In a
line parallel to this wall, the merchants of Glasgow have
determined to make a navigable canal betwixt the two Firths which
will be of incredible advantage to their commerce, in
transporting merchandize from one side of the island to the
other.

From Glasgow we travelled along the Clyde, which is a delightful
stream, adorned on both sides with villas, towns, and villages.
Here is no want of groves, and meadows, and corn-fields
interspersed; but on this side of Glasgow, there is little other
grain than oats and barley; the first are much better, the last
much worse, than those of the same species in England. I wonder,
there is so little rye, which is a grain that will thrive in
almost any soil; and it is still more surprising, that the
cultivation of potatoes should be so much neglected in the
Highlands, where the poor people have not meal enough to supply
them with bread through the winter. On the other side of the
river are the towns of Paisley and Renfrew. The first, from an
inconsiderable village, is become one of the most flourishing
places of the kingdom, enriched by the linen, cambrick, flowered
lawn, and silk manufactures. It was formerly noted for a rich
monastery of the monks of Clugny, who wrote the famous Scoti-Chronicon,
called The Black Book of Paisley. The old abbey still
remains, converted into a dwelling-house, belonging to the earl
of Dundonald. Renfrew is a pretty town, on the banks of Clyde,
capital of the shire, which was heretofore the patrimony of the
Stuart family, and gave the title of baron to the king's eldest
son, which is still assumed by the prince of Wales.

The Clyde we left a little on our left-hand at Dunbritton, where
it widens into an aestuary or frith, being augmented by the
influx of the Leven. On this spot stands the castle formerly
called Alcluyd, washed, by these two rivers on all sides, except
a narrow isthmus, which at every spring-tide is overflowed. The
whole is a great curiosity, from the quality and form of the
rock, as well as from the nature of its situation -- We now crossed
the water of Leven, which, though nothing near so considerable as
the Clyde, is much more transparent, pastoral, and delightful.
This charming stream is the outlet of Lough-Lomond, and through a
tract of four miles pursues its winding course, murmuring over a
bed of pebbles, till it joins the Frith at Dunbritton. A very
little above its source, on the lake, stands the house of
Cameron, belonging to Mr Smollett, so embosomed in an oak wood,
that we did not see it till we were within fifty yards of the
door. I have seen the Lago di Garda, Albano, De Vico, Bolsena,
and Geneva, and, upon my honour, I prefer Lough-Lomond to them
all, a preference which is certainly owing to the verdant islands
that seem to float upon its surface, affording the most
inchanting objects of repose to the excursive view. Nor are the
banks destitute of beauties, which even partake of the sublime.
On this side they display a sweet variety of woodland, cornfield,
and pasture, with several agreeable villas emerging as it were
out of the lake, till, at some distance, the prospect terminates
in huge mountains covered with heath, which being in the bloom,
affords a very rich covering of purple. Every thing here is
romantic beyond imagination. This country is justly stiled the
Arcadia of Scotland; and I don't doubt but it may vie with
Arcadia in every thing but climate. -- I am sure it excels it in
verdure, wood, and water. -- What say you to a natural bason of
pure water, near thirty miles long, and in some places seven
miles broad, and in many above a hundred fathom deep, having four
and twenty habitable islands, some of them stocked with deer, and
all of them covered with wood; containing immense quantities of
delicious fish, salmon, pike, trout, perch, flounders, eels, and
powans, the last a delicate kind of fresh-water herring peculiar
to this lake; and finally communicating with the sea, by sending
off the Leven, through which all those species (except the powan)
make their exit and entrance occasionally?

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