The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

T >> Tobias Smollett >> The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

Pages:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33

Another gentleman of the company, addressing himself to me,
'Without all doubt (said he), a diseased imagination is very apt
to produce visions; but we must find some other method to account
for something of this kind, that happened within these eight days
in my neighbourhood -- A gentleman of a good family, who cannot be
deemed a visionary in any sense of the word, was near his own
gate, in the twilight, visited by his grandfather, who has been
dead these fifteen years -- The spectre was mounted seemingly on
the very horse he used to ride, with an angry and terrible
countenance, and said something, which his grandson, in the
confusion of fear, could not understand. But this was not all -- He
lifted up a huge horse whip, and applied it with great violence
to his back and shoulders, on which I saw the impression with my
own eyes. The apparition was afterwards seen by the sexton of the
parish, hovering about the tomb where his body lies interred; as
the man declared to several persons in the village, before he
knew what had happened to the gentleman -- Nay, he actually came to
me as a justice of the peace, in order to make oath of these
particulars, which, however, I declined administering. As for the
grandson of the defunct, he is a sober, sensible, worldly minded
fellow, too intent upon schemes of interest to give in to
reveries. He would have willingly concealed the affair; but he
bawled out in the first transport of his fear, and, running into
the house, exposed his back and his sconce to the whole family;
so that there was no denying it in the sequel. It is now the
common discourse of the country, that this appearance and
behaviour of the old man's spirit, portends some great calamity
to the family, and the good-woman has actually taken to her bed
in this apprehension.'

Though I did not pretend to explain this mystery, I said, I did
not at all doubt, but it would one day appear to be a deception;
and, in all probability, a scheme executed by some enemy of the
person who had sustained the assault; but still the gentleman
insisted upon the clearness of the evidence, and the concurrence
of testimony, by which two creditable witnesses, without any
communication one with another, affirmed the appearance of the
same man, with whose person they were both well acquainted -- From
Drumlanrig we pursued the course of the Nid to Dumfries, which
stands seven miles above the place where the river falls into the
sea; and is, after Glasgow, the handsomest town I have seen in
Scotland. The inhabitants, indeed, seem to have proposed that city
as their model; not only in beautifying their town and regulating
its police, but, also in prosecuting their schemes of commerce
and manufacture, by which they are grown rich and opulent.

We re-entered England, by the way of Carlisle, where we
accidentally met with our friend Lismahago, whom we had in vain
inquired after at Dumfries and other places -- It would seem that
the captain, like the prophets of old, is but little honoured in
his own country, which he has now renounced for ever -- He gave me
the following particulars of his visit to his native soil -- In his
way to the place of his nativity, he learned that his nephew had
married the daughter of a burgeois, who directed a weaving
manufacture, and had gone into partnership with his father-in-law:
chagrined with this information, he had arrived at the gate
in the twilight, where he heard the sound of treddles in the
great hall, which had exasperated him to such a degree, that he
had like to have lost his senses: while he was thus transported
with indignation, his nephew chanced to come forth, when, being
no longer master of his passion, he cried, 'Degenerate rascal!
you have made my father's house a den of thieves;' and at the
same time chastised him with his horse-whip; then, riding round
the adjoining village, he had visited the burying-ground of his
ancestors by moon-light; and, having paid his respects to their
manes, travelled all night to another part of the country --
Finding the head of the family in such a disgraceful situation,
all his own friends dead or removed from the places of their
former residence, and the expence of living increased to double
of what it had been, when he first left his native country, he
had bid it an eternal adieu, and was determined to seek for
repose among the forests of America.

I was no longer at a loss to account for the apparition, which
had been described at Drumlanrig; and when I repeated the story
to the lieutenant, he was much pleased to think his resentment
had been so much more effectual than he intended; and he owned,
he might at such an hour, and in such an equipage, very well pass
for the ghost of his father, whom he was said greatly to
resemble -- Between friends, I fancy Lismahago will find a retreat
without going so far as the wigwams of the Miamis. My sister
Tabby is making continual advances to him, in the way of
affection; and, if I may trust to appearances, the captain is
disposed to take opportunity by the forelock. For my part, I
intend to encourage this correspondence, and shall be glad to see
them united -- In that case, we shall find a way to settle them
comfortably in our own neighbourhood. I, and my servants, will
get rid of a very troublesome and tyrannic gouvernante; and I
shall have the benefit of Lismahago's conversation, without being
obliged to take more of his company than I desire; for though an
olla is a high-flavoured dish, I could not bear to dine upon it
every day of my life.

I am much pleased with Manchester, which is one of the most
agreeable and flourishing towns in Great-Britain; and I perceive
that this is the place which hath animated the spirit, and
suggested the chief manufactures of Glasgow. We propose to visit
Chatsworth, the Peak, and Buxton, from which last place we shall
proceed directly homewards, though by easy journies. If the
season has been as favourable in Wales as in the North, your
harvest is happily finished; and we have nothing left to think of
but our October, of which let Barns be properly reminded. You
will find me much better in flesh than I was at our parting; and
this short separation has given a new edge to those sentiments of
friendship with which I always have been, and ever shall be,

Yours,
MATT. BRAMBLE
MANCHESTER, Sept. 15.

To Mrs GWILLIM, house-keeper at Brambleton-hall.

MRS GWYLLIM,

It has pleased Providence to bring us safe back to England, and
partake us in many pearls by land and water, in particular the
Devil's Harse a pike, and Hoyden's Hole, which hath got no
bottom; and, as we are drawing huomwards, it may be proper to
uprise you, that Brambleton-hall may be in condition to receive
us, after this long gurney to the islands of Scotland. By the
first of next month you may begin to make constant fires in my
brother's chamber and mine; and burn a fagget every day in the
yellow damask room: have the tester and curtains dusted, and the
featherbed and matrosses well haired, because, perhaps, with the
blissing of haven, they may be yoosed on some occasion. Let the
ould hogsheads be well skewred and seasoned for bear, as Mat is
resolved to have his seller choak fool.

If the house was mine, I would turn over a new leaf -- I don't see
why the sarvants of Wales shouldn't drink fair water, and eat hot
cakes and barley cale, as they do in Scotland, without troubling
the botcher above once a quarter -- I hope you keep accunt of
Roger's purseeding in reverence to the buttermilk. I expect my
dew when I come huom, without baiting an ass, I'll assure you. --
As you must have layed a great many more eggs than would be
eaten, I do suppose there is a power of turks, chickings, and
guzzling about the house; and a brave kergo of cheese ready for
market; and that the owl has been sent to Crickhowel, saving what
the maids spun in the family.

Pray let the whole house and furniture have a thorough cleaning
from top to bottom, for the honour of Wales; and let Roger search
into, and make a general clearance of the slit holes, which the
maids have in secret; for I know they are much given to sloth and
uncleanness. I hope you have worked a reformation among them, as
I exhorted you in my last, and set their hearts upon better
things than they can find in junkitting and caterwauling with the
fellows of the country.

As for Win Jenkins, she has undergone a perfect metamurphysis,
and is become a new creeter from the ammunition of Humphry
Clinker, our new footman, a pious young man, who has laboured
exceedingly, that she may bring forth fruits of repentance. I
make no doubt but he will take the same pains with that pert
hussey Mary Jones, and all of you; and that he may have power
given to penetrate and instill his goodness, even into your most
inward parts, is the fervent prayer of

Your friend in the spirit,
TAB. BRAMBLE
Septr. 18.

To Dr LEWIS.

DEAR LEWIS,

Lismahago is more paradoxical than ever. -- The late gulp he had of
his native air, seems to have blown fresh spirit into all his
polemical faculties. I congratulated him the other day on the
present flourishing state of his country, observing that the
Scots were now in a fair way to wipe off the national reproach of
poverty, and expressing my satisfaction at the happy effects of
the union, so conspicuous in the improvement of their
agriculture, commerce, manufactures, and manners -- The lieutenant,
screwing up his features into a look of dissent and disgust,
commented on my remarks to this effect -- 'Those who reproach a
nation for its poverty, when it is not owing to the profligacy or
vice of the people, deserve no answer. The Lacedaemonians were
poorer than the Scots, when they took the lead among all the free
states of Greece, and were esteemed above them all for their
valour and their virtue. The most respectable heroes of ancient
Rome, such as Fabricius, Cincinnatus, and Regulus, were poorer
than the poorest freeholder in Scotland; and there are at this
day individuals in North-Britain, one of whom can produce more
gold and silver than the whole republic of Rome could raise at
those times when her public virtue shone with unrivalled lustre;
and poverty was so far from being a reproach, that it added fresh
laurels to her fame, because it indicated a noble contempt of
wealth, which was proof against all the arts of corruption -- If
poverty be a subject for reproach, it follows that wealth is the
object of esteem and veneration -- In that case, there are Jews and
others in Amsterdam and London, enriched by usury, peculation,
and different species of fraud and extortion, who are more
estimable than the most virtuous and illustrious members of the
community. An absurdity which no man in his senses will offer to
maintain. -- Riches are certainly no proof of merit: nay they are
often (if not most commonly) acquired by persons of sordid minds
and mean talents: nor do they give any intrinsic worth to the
possessor; but, on the contrary, tend to pervert his
understanding, and render his morals more depraved. But, granting
that poverty were really matter of reproach, it cannot be justly
imputed to Scotland. No country is poor that can supply its
inhabitants with the necessaries of life, and even afford
articles for exportation. Scotland is rich in natural advantages:
it produces every species of provision in abundance, vast herds
of cattle and flocks of sheep, with a great number of horses;
prodigious quantities of wool and flax, with plenty of copse
wood, and in some parts large forests of timber. The earth is
still more rich below than above the surface. It yields
inexhaustible stores of coal, free-stone, marble, lead, iron,
copper, and silver, with some gold. The sea abounds with
excellent fish, and salt to cure them for exportation; and there
are creeks and harbours round the whole kingdom, for the
convenience and security of navigation. The face of the country
displays a surprising number of cities, towns, villas, and
villages, swarming with people; and there seems to be no want of
art, industry, government, and police: such a kingdom can never
be called poor, in any sense of the word, though there may be
many others more powerful and opulent. But the proper use of
those advantages, and the present prosperity of the Scots, you
seem to derive from the union of the two kingdoms!'

I said, I supposed he would not deny that the appearance of the
country was much mended; that the people lived better, had more
trade, and a greater quantity of money circulating since the
union, than before. 'I may safely admit these premises (answered
the lieutenant), without subscribing to your inference. The
difference you mention, I should take to be the natural progress
of improvement -- Since that period, other nations, such as the
Swedes, the Danes, and in particular the French, have greatly
increased in commerce, without any such cause assigned. Before
the union, there was a remarkable spirit of trade among the
Scots, as appeared in the case of their Darien company, in which
they had embarked no less than four hundred thousand pounds
sterling; and in the flourishing state of the maritime towns in
Fife, and on the eastern coast, enriched by their trade with
France, which failed in consequence of the union. The only solid
commercial advantage reaped from that measure, was the privilege
of trading to the English plantations; yet, excepting Glasgow and
Dumfries, I don't know any other Scotch towns concerned in that
traffick. In other respects, I conceive the Scots were losers by
the union. -- They lost the independency of their state, the
greatest prop of national spirit; they lost their parliament, and
their courts of justice were subjected to the revision and
supremacy of an English tribunal.'

'Softly, captain (cried I), you cannot be said to have lost your
own parliament, while you are represented in that of Great-Britain.'
'True (said he, with a sarcastic grin), in debates of
national competition, the sixteen peers and forty-five commoners
of Scotland, must make a formidable figure in the scale, against
the whole English legislature.' 'Be that as it may (I observed)
while I had the honour to sit in the lower house, the Scotch
members had always the majority on their side.' 'I understand
you, Sir (said he), they generally side with the majority; so much
the worse for their constituents. But even this evil is not the
worst they have sustained by the union. Their trade has been saddled
with grievous impositions, and every article of living severely
taxed, to pay the interest of enormous debts, contracted by the
English, in support of measures and connections in which the
Scots had no interest nor concern.' I begged he would at least
allow, that by the union the Scots were admitted to all the
privileges and immunities of English subjects; by which means
multitudes of them were provided for in the army and navy, and
got fortunes in different parts of England, and its dominions.
'All these (said he) become English subjects to all intents and
purposes, and are in a great measure lost to their mother-country.
The spirit of rambling and adventure has been always
peculiar to the natives of Scotland. If they had not met with
encouragement in England, they would have served and settled, as
formerly, in other countries, such as Muscovy, Sweden, Denmark,
Poland, Germany, France, Piedmont, and Italy, in all which
nations their descendants continue to flourish even at this day.'

By this time my patience began to fail and I exclaimed, 'For
God's sake, what has England got by this union which, you say,
has been so productive of misfortune to the Scots.' ' Great and
manifold are the advantages which England derives from the union
(said Lismahago, in a solemn tone). First and foremost, the
settlement of the protestant succession, a point which the
English ministry drove with such eagerness, that no stone was
left unturned, to cajole and bribe a few leading men, to cram the
union down the throats of the Scottish nation, who were
surprisingly averse to the expedient. They gained by it a
considerable addition of territory, extending their dominion to
the sea on all sides of the island, thereby shutting up all back-doors
against the enterprizes of their enemies. They got an
accession of above a million of useful subjects, constituting a
never-failing nursery of seamen, soldiers, labourers, and
mechanics; a most valuable acquisition to a trading country,
exposed to foreign wars, and obliged to maintain a number of
settlements in all the four quarters of the globe. In the course
of seven years, during the last war, Scotland furnished the
English army and navy with seventy thousand men, over and above
those who migrated to their colonies, or mingled with them at
home in the civil departments of life. This was a very
considerable and seasonable supply to a nation, whose people had
been for many years decreasing in number, and whose lands and
manufactures were actually suffering for want of hands. I need
not remind you of the hackneyed maxim, that, to a nation in such
circumstances, a supply of industrious people is a supply of
wealth; nor repeat an observation, which is now received as an
eternal truth, even among the English themselves, that the Scots
who settle in South-Britain are remarkably sober, orderly, and
industrious.'

I allowed the truth of this remark, adding, that by their
industry, oeconomy, and circumspection, many of them in England,
as well as in her colonies, amassed large fortunes, with which
they returned to their own country, and this was so much lost to
South-Britain. -- 'Give me leave, sir (said he), to assure you,
that in your fact you are mistaken, and in your deduction
erroneous. Not one in two hundred that leave Scotland ever
returns to settle in his own country; and the few that do return,
carry thither nothing that can possibly diminish the stock of
South-Britain; for none of their treasure stagnates in Scotland --
There is a continual circulation, like that of the blood in the
human body, and England is the heart, to which all the streams
which it distributes are refunded and returned: nay, in
consequence of that luxury which our connexion with England hath
greatly encouraged, if not introduced, all the produce of our
lands, and all the profits of our trade, are engrossed by the
natives of South-Britain; for you will find that the exchange
between the two kingdoms is always against
Scotland; and that she retains neither gold nor silver sufficient
for her own circulation. -- The Scots, not content with their own
manufactures and produce, which would very well answer all
necessary occasions, seem to vie with each other in purchasing
superfluities from England; such as broad-cloth, velvets, stuffs,
silks, lace, furs, jewels, furniture of all sorts, sugar, rum,
tea, chocolate and coffee; in a word, not only every mode of the
most extravagant luxury, but even many articles of convenience,
which they might find as good, and much cheaper in their own
country. For all these particulars, I conceive, England may touch
about one million sterling a-year. -- I don't pretend to make an
exact calculation; perhaps, it may be something less, and
perhaps, a great deal more. The annual revenue arising from all
the private estates of Scotland cannot fall short of a million
sterling; and, I should imagine, their trade will amount to as
much more. -- I know the linen manufacture alone returns near half
a million, exclusive of the home-consumption of that article. --
If, therefore, North-Britain pays a ballance of a million
annually to England, I insist upon it, that country is more
valuable to her in the way of commerce, than any colony in her
possession, over and above the other advantages which I have
specified: therefore, they are no friends, either to England or
to truth, who affect to depreciate the northern part of the
united kingdom.'

I must own, I was at first a little nettled to find myself
schooled in so many particulars. -- Though I did not receive all
his assertions as gospel, I was not prepared to refute them; and
I cannot help now acquiescing in his remarks so far as to
think, that the contempt for Scotland, which prevails too much on
this side the Tweed, is founded on prejudice and error. -- After
some recollection, 'Well, captain (said I), you have argued
stoutly for the importance of your own country: for my part, I
have such a regard for our fellow-subjects of North-Britain, that
I shall be glad to see the day, when your peasants can afford to
give all their oats to their cattle, hogs, and poultry, and
indulge themselves with good wheaten loaves, instead of such
poor, unpalatable, and inflammatory diet.' Here again I brought
my self into a premunire with the disputative Caledonian. He said
he hoped he should never see the common people lifted out of that
sphere for which they were intended by nature and the course of
things; that they might have some reason to complain of their
bread, if it were mixed, like that of Norway, with saw dust and
fish-bones; but that oatmeal was, he apprehended, as nourishing
and salutary as wheat-flour, and the Scots in general thought it
at least as savoury. -- He affirmed, that a mouse, which, in the
article of self-preservation, might be supposed to act from
infallible instinct, would always prefer oats to wheat, as
appeared from experience; for, in a place where there was a
parcel of each, that animal has never begun to feed upon the
latter till all the oats were consumed: for their nutritive
quality, he appealed to the hale, robust constitutions of the
people who lived chiefly upon oatmeal; and, instead of being
inflammatory, he asserted, that it was a cooling sub-acid,
balsamic and mucilaginous; insomuch, that in all inflammatory
distempers, recourse was had to water-gruel, and flummery made of
oatmeal.

'At least (said I), give me leave to wish them such a degree of
commerce as may enable them to follow their own inclinations.' --
'Heaven forbid! (cried this philosopher). Woe be to that nation,
where the multitude is at liberty to follow their own
inclinations! Commerce is undoubtedly a blessing, while
restrained within its proper channels; but a glut of wealth
brings along with it a glut of evils: it brings false taste,
false appetite, false wants, profusion, venality, contempt of
order, engendering a spirit of licentiousness, insolence, and
faction, that keeps the community in continual ferment, and in
time destroys all the distinctions of civil society; so that
universal anarchy and uproar must ensue. Will any sensible man
affirm, that the national advantages of opulence are to be sought
on these terms?' 'No, sure; but I am one of those who think,
that, by proper regulations, commerce may produce every national
benefit, without the allay of such concomitant evils.'

So much for the dogmata of my friend Lismahago, whom I describe
the more circumstantially, as I firmly believe he will set up his
rest in Monmouthshire. Yesterday, while I was alone with him he
asked, in some confusion, if I should have any objection to the
success of a gentleman and a soldier, provided he should be so
fortunate as to engage my sister's affection. I answered without
hesitation, that my sister was old enough to judge for
herself; and that I should be very far from disapproving any
resolution she might take in his favour. -- His eyes sparkled at
this declaration. He declared, he should think himself the
happiest man on earth to be connected with my family; and that he
should never be weary of giving me proofs of his gratitude and
attachment. I suppose Tabby and he are already agreed; in which
case, we shall have a wedding at Brambleton-hall, and you shall
give away the bride. -- It is the least thing you can do, by way
of atonement for your former cruelty to that poor love-sick
maiden, who has been so long a thorn in the side of

Yours,
MATT. BRAMBLE
Sept. 20.

We have been at Buxton; but, as I did not much relish either the
company or the accommodations, and had no occasion for the water,
we stayed but two nights in the place.

To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS, Bart. of Jesus college, Oxon.

DEAR WAT,

Adventures begin to thicken as we advance to the southward.
Lismahago has now professed himself the admirer of our aunt, and
carries on his addresses under the sanction of her brother's
approbation; so that we shall certainly have a wedding by
Christmas. I should be glad you was present at the nuptials, to
help me throw the stocking, and perform other ceremonies peculiar
to that occasion. -- I am sure it will be productive of some
diversion; and, truly, it would be worth your while to come
across the country on purpose to see two such original figures in
bed together, with their laced night caps; he, the emblem of good
cheer, and she, the picture of good nature. All this agreeable
prospect was clouded, and had well nigh vanished entirely, in
consequence of a late misunderstanding between the future
brothers-in-law, which, however, is now happily removed.

Pages:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33