The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan

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Girls: Oh joy! our chief is sav'd
And by Hillarion's hand;
The torrent fierce he brav'd,
And brought her safe to land!
For his intrusion we must own
This doughty deed may well atone!

Princess: Stand forth ye three,
Who-e'er ye be,
And hearken to our stern decree!

Cyril, &
Florian: Have mercy, O Lady Hilarion:
Have
disregard your Mer--
oaths! cy!

Princess: I know no mercy, men in women's clothes!
The man whose sacrilegious eyes
Invade our strict seclusion, dies.
Arrest the coarse intruding spies!

(They are arrested by the "Daughters of
the Plough")

Girls: Have mercy, O lady -- disregard your oaths.

Princess: I know not mercy, men in women's clothes!

(Cyril & Florian
are bound)

SONG -- Hilarion

Hilarion: Whom thou has chain'd must wear his chain,
Thou canst not set him free,
He wrestles with his bonds in vain
Who lives by loving thee!
If heart of stone for heart of fire,
Be all thou hast to give,
If dead to my heart's desire,
Why should I wish to live?

Cyr & Flo: Have Girls: Have
mercy, O Mer-
lady! cy!

Hilarion: No word of thine -- no stern command
Can teach my heart to rove,
Then rather perish by thy hand,
Than live without they love!
A loveless life apart from thee
Were hopeless slavery,
Were hopeless slavery,
If kindly death will set me free,
Why should I fear to die?

Girls: Have mercy!

Hilarion: If kindly death

Girls: Have mercy!

Hilarion: will set me free,
If kindly death will set me free,
Why should I fear,
Why should I fear to die?

(He is bound by two of the attendants, the three gentlemen are
marched off.)

(Enter Melissa)

Melissa: Madam, without the castle walls
An armed band
Demand admittance to our halls
For Hildebrand!

All: Oh, horror!

Princess: Defy them!
We will defy them!

All: Too late -- too late!
The castle gate
Is battered by them!

(The gate yields. Soldiers rush in. Arac, Guron, and Scynthius are
with them, but with their hands handcuffed.

Men: Walls and fences scaling,
Promptly we appear;
Walls are unavailing,
We have enter'd here.
Female exaceration.
Stifle if you're wise.
Stop your lamentations,
Dry your pretty, pretty

Girls: Rend the air with wailing. Men: eyes!
Shed the shameful tear!
Man has enter'd here.
Walls are unavailing.

Girls: Rend the Men: Walls and
air fences
with scaling,
wail------ Promptly we appear;
---------- Walls are unavailing.
ing. We have enter'd here.
Shed Female exe-
the cration.
shame- Stifle if
ful tear! you're wise.
Man Stop your lament-
has ation,
en- Dry your pret-
ter'd ty
here! eyes. O
Walls are stop your
un- lament-
a- ation,
vail- Dry your pretty pretty
ing. eyes! Female exe-
Man cration. Stifle
has if you're
en- wise. Stop your lament-
ter'd ation, Dry your pretty
here! eyes.

(Enter Hildebrand)

RECITATIVE

Princess: Audacious tyrant, do you dare
To beard a maiden in her lair?

Hildebd: Since you inquire,
We've no desire
To beard a maiden here, or anywhere!

Soldiers: No, no. We've no desire
To beard a maiden here or anywhere!

SOLO -- Hildebrand

Hildebd: Some years ago,
No doubt you know
(And if you don't I'll tell you so)
You gave your troth
Upon your oath
To Hilarion my son.
A vow you make
You must not break,
(If you think you may, it's a great mistake),
For a bride's a bride
Though the knot were tied
At the early age of one!
And I'm a peppery kind of King,
Whose indisposed for parleying
To fit the wit of a bit of chit,
And that's the long and the short of
it!

Soldiers: For he's a peppery kind of King,
Whose indisposed for parleying
To fit the wit of a bit of chit,
And that's the long and the short of it!

Hildebd: If you decide
To pocket your pride
And let Hilarion claim his bride,
Why, well and good,
It's understood
We'll let bygones go by--
But if you choose
To sulk in the blues
I'll make the whole of you shake in your shoes.
I'll storm your walls,
And level your halls,
In the winking of an eye!
For I'm a peppery Potentate,
Who's little inclined his claim to
bate,
To fit the wit of a bit of a chit,
And thats the long and the short of
it!

Soldiers: For he's a peppery Potentate,
Whose indisposed for parleying,
To fit the wit of a bit of chit,
And that's the long and the short of it!

TRIO -- Arac, Guron & Scynthius

All 3: We may remark, though nothing can
Dismay us,
That if you thwart this gentleman,
He'll slay us.
We don't fear death, of course -- we're taught
To shame it;
But still upon the whole we thought
We'd name it.
(To each other)
Scynthius: Yes!

Guron: Yes!

Arac: Yes!

All 3: Better p'r'aps to name it.

Our interests we would not press
With chatter,
Three hulking brothers more or less
Don't matter;
If you'd pooh-pooh this monarch's plan
Pooh-pooh it,
But when he says he'll hang a man,
He'll do it.
(To each other)
Scynthius: Yes!

Guron: Yes!

Arac: Yes!

All 3: Devil doubt he'll do it.

Princess: Be reassured, nor fear his anger blind,
His menaces are idle as the wind.
He dares not kill you -- vengeance lurks behind!

3 Knights: We rather think he dares, but never mind!

Hildebd: I 3 Knights:
rather No!
think I No!
dare, but No!
never, never mind! never never mind!
Enough of
No,
parley no,
never nev-
as a er
spe- mind!
cial
No!
boon. no! never, never mind!
We give you till tomorrow
afternoon;

Hildebd: Release Hilarion, then,
And be his bride
Or you'll incur the guilt of fratricide!

Princess: To yield at once to such a foe
With shame we're rife;
So quick! away with him, although
He sav'd my life!
That he is fair, and strong, and tall
Is very evident to all,
Yet I will die,
Yet I will die, before I call myself his

Princess: All Others:
wife! - --- Oh, yield at once, 'twere better
so,
- - - --- Than risk a strife!
And let the Prince Hilarion go.
He Saved thy life!
That Hi-
he is la-rion's
fair and fair,
strong and and
tall, strong and tall,
tall,
Is - - - - -
- - - - - - A
very worse mis-
evi- for-
dent to tune
all, might befall.
Yet
I will It's
die, will die before I call not so dreadful after all,
Myself his wife! To be his wife!
Though I am but a girl
Defiance thus I hurl
Our banners all
On outer wall
We fearlessly unfurl

(The Princess stands, surrounded by girls kneeling. Hildebrand and
soldiers stand on built rocks at back and sides of stage.
Picture.)

END OF ACT II ACT III

SCENE -- Outer Walls and Courtyard of Castle Adamant. Melissa,
SachaRissa, and ladies discovered, armed with
battleaxes.

CHORUS
"Death to the Invader!"

Chorus: Death to the invader!
Strike a deadly blow,
As an old Crusader
Struck his Paynim foe!
Let our martial thunder
Fill his soul with wonder,
Tear his ranks asunder,
Lay the tyrant low!
Death to the invader!
Strike a deadly blow,
As an old Crusader
Struck his Paynim foe!

Melissa: Thus our courage, all untarnish'd,
We're instructed to display;
But to tell the truth unvarnish'd,
We are more inclined to say,
"Please you, do not hurt us,"

All: "Do not hurt us, if it please you!"

Melissa: "Please you let us be."

All: "Let us be -- let us be!"

Melissa: "Soldiers disconcert us."

All: "Disconcert us, if it please you!"

Melissa: "Frighten'd maids are we!"

All: "Maids are we, maids are we!"

Melissa: Please you,

All: Do not hurt us;

Melissa: Please you,

All: Let us be.

Mel & Cho: Frighten'd maids are we, frighten'd maids are we!

Melissa: But 'twould be an error
To confess our terror,
So in Ida's name,
Boldly we exclaim:

Mel & Cho: Death to the invader!
Strike a deadly blow,
As an old Crusader
Struck his Paynim foe!

(Flourish. Enter Princess, armed, attended by Blanche and Psyche.)

Princess: I like your spirit, girls! We have to meet
Stern bearded warriors in fight to-day;
Wear naught but what is necessary to
Preserve your dignity before their eyes,
And give your limbs full play.

Blanche: One moment, ma'am,
Here is a paradox we should not pass
Without inquiry. We are prone to say
"This thing is Needful -- that, Superfluous"--
Yet they invariably co-exist!
We find the Needful comprehended in
The circle of the grand Superfluous,
Yet the Superfluous cannot be brought
Unless you're amply furnished with the Needful.
These singular considerations are--

Princess: Superfluous, yet not Needful -- so you see
The terms may independently exist.
(To Ladies) Women of Adamant, we have to show
That women, educated to the task,
Can meet Man, face to face, on his own ground,
And beat him there. Now, let us set to work;
Where is our lady surgeon?

Sach.: Madam, here!

Princess: We shall require your skill to heal the wounds
Of those that fall.

Sach.: (Alarmed) What, heal the wounded?

Princess: Yes!

Sach.: And cut off real live legs and arms?

Princess: Of course!

Sach.: I wouldn't do it for a thousand pounds!

Princess: Why, how is this? Are you faint-hearted, girl?
You've often cut them off in theory!

Sach.: In theory I'll cut them off again
With pleasure, and as often as you like,
But not in practice.

Princess: Coward! Get you hence,
I've craft enough for that, and courage too,
I'll do your work! My fusiliers, advance!,
Why, you are armed with axes! Gilded toys!
Where are your rifles, pray?

Chloe: Why, please you, ma'am,
We left them in the armoury, for fear
That in the heat and turmoil of the fight,
They might go off!

Princess: "They might!" Oh, craven souls!
Go off yourselves! Thank heaven I have a heart
That quails not at the thought of meeting men;
I will discharge your rifles! Off with you!

(Exit Chloe)
Where's my bandmistress?

Ada: Please you, ma'am, the band
Do not feel well, and can't come out today!

Princess: Why, this is flat rebellion! I've no time
To talk to them just now. But, happily,
I can play several instruments at once,
And I will drown the shrieks of those that fall
With trumpet music, such as soldiers love!
How stand we with respect to gunpowder?
My Lady Psyche -- you who superintend
Our lab'ratory -- are you well prepared
To blow these bearded rascals into shreds?

Psyche: Why, madam--

Princess: Well?

Psyche: Let us try gentler means.
We can dispense with fulminating grains
While we have eyes with which to flash our rage!
We can dispense with villainous saltpetre
While we have tongues with which to blow them up!
We can dispense, in short, with all the arts
That brutalize the practical polemist!

Princess: (Contemptuously) I never knew a more dispensing
chemist!
Away, away -- I'll meet these men alone
Since all my women have deserted me!

(Exeunt all but Princess, singing
refrain of
"Please you, do not hurt us",
pianissimo.)

Princess: So fail my cherished plans -- so fails my faith--
And with it hope, and all that comes of hope!

Song - Princess
"I Built upon a Rock"

Princess: I built upon a rock,
But ere Destruction's hand
Dealt equal lot
To Court and cot,
My rock had turn'd to sand!
I leant upon an oak,
But in the hour of need,
Alack-a-day,
My trusted stay
Was but a bruis-ed reed!
A bruis-ed reed!
Ah faithless rock,
My simple faith to mock!
Ah trait'rous oak,
Thy worthlessness to cloak,
Thy worthlessness to cloak!

I drew a sword of steel
But when to home and hearth
The battle's breath
Bore fire and death,
My sword was but a lath!
I lit a beacon fire,
But on a stormy day
Of frost and rime,
In wintertime,
My fire had died away,
Had died away!
Ah, coward steel,
That fear can un-anneal!
False fire indeed,
To fail me in my need,
To fail me in my need!

(Princess Sinks upon a rock. Enter Chloe and all the Ladies)

Chloe: Madam, your father and your brothers claim
An audience!

Princess: What do they do here?

Chloe: They come
To fight for you!

Princess: Admit them!

Blanche: Infamous!
One's brothers, ma'am, are men!

Princess: So I have heard.
But all my women seem to fail me when
I need them most. In this emergency,
Even one's brothers may be turned to use.

Gama: (Entering, pale and unnerved) My daughter!

Princess: Father! Thou art free!

Gama: Aye, free!
Free as a tethered ass! I come to thee
With words from Hildebrand. Those duly given
I must return to blank captivity.
I'm free so far.

Princess: Your message.

Gama: Hildebrand
Is loth to war with women. Pit my sons,
My three brave sons, against these popinjays,
These tufted jack-a-dandy featherheads,
And on the issue let thy hand depend!

Princess: Insult on insult's head! Are we a stake
For fighting men? What fiend possesses thee,
That thou has come with offers such as these
From such as he to such an one as I?

Gama: I am possessed
By the pale devil of a shaking heart!
My stubborn will is bent. I dare not face
That devilish monarch's black malignity!
He tortures me with torments worse than death,
I haven't anything to grumble at!
He finds out what particular meats I love,
And gives me them. The very choicest wines,
The costliest robes -- the richest rooms are mine.
He suffers none to thwart my simplest plan,
And gives strict orders none should contradict me!
He's made my life a curse! (Weeps)

Princess: My tortured father!

SONG (King GAMA with CHORUS of GIRLS)
"Whene'er I Spoke"

Gama: Whene'er I poke
Sarcastic joke
Replete with malice spiteful,
This people mild
Politely smil'd,
And voted me delightful!

Now, when a wight
Sits up all night
Ill-natur'd jokes devising,
And all his wiles
Are met with smiles
It's hard, there's no disguising!

Ah! Oh, don't the days seem lank and long
When all goes right and nothing goes wrong,
And isn't your life extremely flat
With nothing whatever to grumble at!

Chorus: Oh, isn't your life extremely flat
With nothing whatever to grumble at!

Gama: When German bands
From music stands
Play'd Wagner imperfectly --
I bade them go--
They didn't say no,
But off they went directly!
The organ boys
They stopp'd their noise,
With readiness surprising,
And grinning herds
Of hurdy-gurds
Retired apologising!
Ah! Oh, don't the days seem lank and long
When all goes right and nothing goes wrong,
And isn't your life extremely flat
With nothing whatever to grumble at!

Chorus: Oh, isn't your life extremely flat
With nothing whatever to grumble at!

Gama: I offer'd gold
In sums untold
To all who'd contradict me--
I said I'd pay
A pound a day
To any one who kick'd me--
I've brib'd with toys
Great vulgar boys
To utter something spiteful,
But, bless you, no!
They would be so
Confoundedly politeful!

Ah! In short, these aggravating lads,
They tickle my tastes, they feed my fads,
They give me this and they give me that,
And I've nothing whatever to grumble at!

Chorus: Oh, isn't your life extremely flat
With nothing whatever to grumble at!

(Gama Bursts into tears and falls sobbing
on a seat.)

Princess: My poor old father! How he must have suffered!
Well, well, I yield!

Gama: (Hysterically) She yields! I'm saved, I'm saved!
(Exit)

Princess: Open the gates -- admit these warriors,
Then get you all within the castle walls.
(Exit)

(The gates are opened and the Girls mount the
battlements as the
Soldiers enter. Arac, Guron and Scynthius
also enter.)

Chorus of Soldiers
"When anger spreads his wing"

Chorus: When anger spread his wing,
And all seems dark as night for it,
There's nothing but to fight for it,
But ere you pitch your ring,
Select a pretty site for it,
(This spot is suited quite for it,)
And then you gaily sing,
And then you gaily sing: