The Memorabilia
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[1] Or, "the cry of a friend for careful tending falls on deaf ears."
Or to take (said he) a crowning instance:[2] with regard to ordinary
possessions, however multifarious these may be, most people are at
least acquainted with their number, but if you ask a man to enumerate
his friends, who are not so very many after all perhaps, he cannot; or
if, to oblige the inquirer, he essays to make a list, he will
presently retract the names of some whom he had previously
included.[3] Such is the amount of thought which people bestow upon
their friends.
[2] Or, "Nor had he failed to observe another striking contrast." Cf.
Cic. "Lael." 17; Diog. Laert. ii. 30.
[3] i.e. "like a chess-player recalling a move."
And yet what thing else may a man call his own is comparable to this
one best possession! what rather will not serve by contrast to enhance
the value of an honest friend! Think of a horse or a yoke of oxen;
they have their worth; but who shall gauge the worth of a worthy
friend? Kindlier and more constant than the faithfullest of slaves--
this is that possession best named all-serviceable.[4] Consider what
the post is that he assigns himself! to meet and supplement what is
lacking to the welfare of his friends, to promote their private and
their public interests, is his concern. Is there need of kindly action
in any quarter? he will throw in the full weight of his support. Does
some terror confound? he is at hand to help and defend by expenditure
of money and of energy,[5] by appeals to reason or resort to force.
His the privilege alike to gladden the prosperous in the hour of
success and to sustain their footing who have well-nigh slipped. All
that the hands of a man may minister, all that the eyes of each are
swift to see, the ears to hear, and the feet to compass, he with his
helpful arts will not fall short of. Nay, not seldom that which a man
has failed to accomplish for himself, has missed seeing or hearing or
attaining, a friend acting in behalf of friend will achieve
vicariously. And yet, albeit to try and tend a tree for the sake of
its fruit is not uncommon, this copious mine of wealth--this friend--
attracts only a lazy and listless attention on the part of more than
half the world.
[4] "A vessel fit for all work indeed is this friend." Cf. Ar. "Ach."
936, {pagkhreston aggos estai}, like the "leather bottel."
[5] Or, "by dint of his diplomacy."
V
I remember listening to another argument of his, the effect of which
would be to promote self-examination. The listener must needs be
brought to ask himself, "Of what worth am I to my friends?" It
happened thus. One of those who were with him was neglectful, as he
noted, of a friend who was at the pinch of poverty (Antisthenes).[1]
Accordingly, in the presence of the negligent person and of several
others, he proceeded to question the sufferer.
[1] Antisthenes, "cynicorum et stoicorum parens." Cic. "de Or." iii.
17; "ad Att." xii. 38. See below, III. iii. 17; "Symp." passim;
Diog. Laert. II. v.; VI. i.
Soc. What say you, Antisthenes?--have friends their values like
domestic slaves? One of these latter may be worth perhaps two
minae,[2] another only half a mina, a third five, and a fourth as much
as ten; while they do say that Nicias,[3] the son of Niceratus, paid a
whole talent for a superintendent of his silver mines. And so I
propound the question to myself as follows: "Have friends, like
slaves, their market values?"
[2] A mina = L4 circ.
[3] For Nicias see Thuc. vii. 77 foll.; "Revenues," iv. 14; Plut.
"Nic." IV. v.; Lys. "de bon. Aristoph." 648.
Not a doubt of it (replied Antisthenes). At any rate, I know that I
would rather have such a one as my friend than be paid two minae, and
there is such another whose worth I would not estimate at half a mina,
and a third with whom I would not part for ten, and then again a
fourth whose friendship would be cheap if it cost me all the wealth
and pains in the world to purchase it.
Well then (continued Socrates), if that be so, would it not be well if
every one were to examine himself: "What after all may I chance to be
worth to my friends?" Should he not try to become as dear as possible,
so that his friends will not care to give him up? How often do I hear
the complaint: "My friend So-and-so has given me up"; or "Such an one,
whom I looked upon as a friend, has sacrificed me for a mina." And
every time I hear these remarks, the question arises in my mind: If
the vendor of a worthless slave is ready to part with him to a
purchaser for what he will fetch--is there not at least a strong
temptation to part with a base friend when you have a chance of making
something on the exchange? Good slaves, as far as I can see, are not
so knocked down to the hammer; no, nor good friends so lightly parted
with.
VI
Again, in reference to the test to be applied, if we would gauge the
qualifications of a friend worth the winning, the following remarks of
Socrates could not fail, I think, to prove instructive.[1]
[1] Or, "Again, as to establishing a test of character, since a friend
worth having must be of a particular type, I cannot but think that
the following remarks would prove instructive."
Tell me (said Socrates, addressing Critobulus), supposing we stood in
need of a good friend, how should we set about his discovery? We must,
in the first place, I suppose, seek out one who is master of his
appetites, not under the dominion, that is, of his belly, not addicted
to the wine-cup or to lechery or sleep or idleness, since no one
enslaved to such tyrants could hope to do his duty either by himself
or by his friends, could he?
Certainly not (Critobulus answered).
Soc. Do you agree, then, that we must hold aloof from every one so
dominated?
Cri. Most assuredly.
Well then (proceeded Socrates), what shall we say of the spendthrift
who has lost his independence and is for ever begging of his
neighbours; if he gets anything out of them he cannot repay, but if he
fails to get anything, he hates you for not giving--do you not think
that this man too would prove but a disagreeable friend?
Cri. Certainly.
Soc. Then we must keep away from him too?
Cri. That we must.
Soc. Well! and what of the man whose strength lies in monetary
transactions?[2] His one craving is to amass money; and for that
reason he is an adept at driving a hard bargain[3]--glad enough to
take in, but loath to pay out.
[2] Or, "the money-lender? He has a passion for big money-bags."
[3] Or, "hard in all his dealings."
Cri. In my opinion he will prove even a worse fellow than the last.
Soc. Well! and what of that other whose passion for money-making is so
absorbing that he has no leisure for anything else, save how he may
add to his gains?
Cri. Hold aloof from him, say I, since there is no good to be got out
of him or his society.
Soc. Well! what of the quarrelsome and factious person[4] whose main
object is to saddle his friends with a host of enemies?
[4] "The partisan."
Cri. For God's sake let us avoid him also.
Soc. But now we will imagine a man exempt indeed from all the above
defects--a man who has no objection to receive kindnesses, but it
never enters into his head to do a kindness in return.
Cri. There will be no good in him either. But, Socrates, what kind of
man shall we endeavour to make our friend? what is he like?
Soc. I should say he must be just the converse of the above: he has
control over the pleasures of the body, he is kindly disposed,[5]
upright in all his dealings,[6] very zealous is he not to be outdone
in kindness by his benefactors, if only his friends may derive some
profit from his acquaintance.
[5] Reading {eunous}, or if {euorkos}, transl. "a man of his word."
[6] Or, "easy to deal with."
Cri. But how are we to test these qualities, Socrates, before
acquaintance?
Soc. How do we test the merits of a sculptor?--not by inferences drawn
from the talk of the artist merely. No, we look to what he has already
achieved. These former statues of his were nobly executed, and we
trust he will do equally well with the rest.
Cri. You mean that if we find a man whose kindness to older friends is
established, we may take it as proved that he will treat his newer
friends as amiably?
Soc. Why, certainly, if I see a man who has shown skill in the
handling of horses previously, I argue that he will handle others no
less skilfully again.
Cri. Good! and when we have discovered a man whose friendship is worth
having, how ought we to make him our friend?
Soc. First we ought to ascertain the will of Heaven whether it be
advisable to make him our friend.
Cri. Well! and how are we to effect the capture of this friend of our
choice, whom the gods approve? will you tell me that?
Not, in good sooth (replied Socrates), by running him down like a
hare, nor by decoying him like a bird, or by force like a wild
boar.[7] To capture a friend against his will is a toilsome business,
and to bind him in fetters like a slave by no means easy. Those who
are so treated are apt to become foes instead of friends.[8]
[7] Reading {kaproi}, al. {ekhthroi}, "an enemy."
[8] Or, "Hate rather than friendship is the outcome of these methods."
Cri. But how convert them into friends?
Soc. There are certain incantations, we are told, which those who know
them have only to utter, and they can make friends of whom they list;
and there are certain philtres also which those who have the secret of
them may administer to whom they like and win their love.
Cri. From what source shall we learn them?
Soc. You need not go farther than Homer to learn that which the Sirens
sang to Odysseus,[9] the first words of which run, I think, as
follows:
Hither, come hither, thou famous man, Odysseus, great glory of the
Achaeans!
[9] "Od." xii. 184.
Cri. And did the magic words of this spell serve for all men alike?
Had the Sirens only to utter this one incantation, and was every
listener constrained to stay?
Soc. No; this was the incantation reserved for souls athirst for fame,
of virtue emulous.
Cri. Which is as much as to say, we must suit the incantation to the
listener, so that when he hears the words he shall not think that the
enchanter is laughing at him in his sleeve. I cannot certainly
conceive a method better calculated to excite hatred and repulsion
than to go to some one who knows that he is small and ugly and a
weakling, and to breathe in his ears the flattering tale that he is
beautiful and tall and stalwart. But do you know any other love-
charms, Socrates?
Soc. I cannot say that I do; but I have heard that Pericles[10] was
skilled in not a few, which he poured into the ear of our city and won
her love.
[10] See above, I. ii. 40; "Symp." viii. 39.
Cri. And how did Themistocles[11] win our city's love?
[11] See below, III. vi. 2; IV. ii. 2.
Soc. Ah, that was not by incantation at all. What he did was to
encircle our city with an amulet of saving virtue.[12]
[12] See Herod. vii. 143, "the wooden wall"; Thuc. i. 93, "'the walls'
of Athens."
Cri. You would imply, Socrates, would you not, that if we want to win
the love of any good man we need to be good ourselves in speech and
action?
And did you imagine (replied Socrates) that it was possible for a bad
man to make good friends?
Cri. Why, I could fancy I had seen some sorry speech-monger who was
fast friends with a great and noble statesman; or again, some born
commander and general who was boon companion with fellows quite
incapable of generalship.[13]
[13] Or, "Why, yes, when I see some base orator fast friends with a
great leader of the people; or, again, some fellow incapable of
generalship a comrade to the greatest captains of his age."
Soc. But in reference to the point we were discussing, may I ask
whether you know of any one who can attach a useful friend to himself
without being of use in return?[14] Can service ally in friendship
with disservice?
[14] Add, "Can service ally in friendship with disservice? Must there
not be a reciprocity of service to make friendship lasting?"
Cri. In good sooth no. But now, granted it is impossible for a base
man to be friends with the beautiful and noble,[14] I am concerned at
once to discover if one who is himself of a beautiful and noble
character can, with a wave of the hand, as it were, attach himself in
friendship to every other beautiful and noble nature.
[14] {kalous kagathous}.
Soc. What perplexes and confounds you, Critobulus, is the fact that so
often men of noble conduct, with souls aloof from baseness, are not
friends but rather at strife and discord with one another, and deal
more harshly by one another than they would by the most good-for-
nothing of mankind.
Cri. Yes, and this holds true not of private persons only, but states,
the most eager to pursue a noble policy and to repudiate a base one,
are frequently in hostile relation to one another. As I reason on
these things my heart fails me, and the question, how friends are to
be acquired, fills me with despondency. The bad, as I see, cannot be
friends with one another. For how can such people, the ungrateful, or
reckless, or covetous, or faithless, or incontinent, adhere together
as friends? Without hesitation I set down the bad as born to be foes
not friends, and as bearing the birthmark of internecine hate. But
then again, as you suggest, no more can these same people harmonise in
friendship with the good. For how should they who do evil be friends
with those who hate all evil-doing? And if, last of all, they that
cultivate virtue are torn by party strife in their struggle for the
headship of the states, envying one another, hating one another, who
are left to be friends? where shall goodwill and faithfulness be found
among men?
Soc. The fact is there is some subtlety in the texture of these
things.[15] Seeds of love are implanted in man by nature. Men have
need of one another, feel pity, help each other by united efforts, and
in recognition of the fact show mutual gratitude. But there are seeds
of war implanted also. The same objects being regarded as beautiful or
agreeable by all alike, they do battle for their possession; a spirit
of disunion[16] enters, and the parties range themselves in adverse
camps. Discord and anger sound a note of war: the passion of more-
having, staunchless avarice, threatens hostility; and envy is a
hateful fiend.[17]
[15] i.e. a cunning intertwining of the threads of warp and woof.
[16] Cf. Shelley, "The devil of disunion in their souls."
[17] The diction is poetical.
But nevertheless, through all opposing barriers friendship steals her
way and binds together the beautiful and good among mankind.[18] Such
is their virtue that they would rather possess scant means painlessly
than wield an empire won by war. In spite of hunger and thirst they
will share their meat and drink without a pang. Not bloom of lusty
youth, nor love's delights can warp their self-control; nor will they
be tempted to cause pain where pain should be unknown. It is theirs
not merely to eschew all greed of riches, not merely to make a just
and lawful distribution of wealth, but to supply what is lacking to
the needs of one another. Theirs it is to compose strife and discord
not in painless oblivion simply, but to the general advantage. Theirs
also to hinder such extravagance of anger as shall entail remorse
hereafter. And as to envy they will make a clean sweep and clearance
of it: the good things which a man possesses shall be also the
property of his friends, and the goods which they possess are to be
looked upon as his. Where then is the improbability that the beautiful
and noble should be sharers in the honours[19] of the state not only
without injury, but even to their mutual advantage?
[18] Or, as we say, "the elite of human kind."
[19] "And the offices."
They indeed who covet and desire the honours and offices in a state
for the sake of the liberty thereby given them to embezzle the public
moneys, to deal violently by their fellow-creatures, and to batten in
luxury themselves, may well be regarded as unjust and villainous
persons incapable of harmony with one another. But if a man desire to
obtain these selfsame honours in order that, being himself secure
against wrong-doing, he may be able to assist his friends in what is
right, and, raised to a high position,[20] may essay to confer some
blessing on the land of his fathers, what is there to hinder him from
working in harmony with some other of a like spirit? Will he, with the
"beautiful and noble" at his side, be less able to aid his friends? or
will his power to benfit the community be shortened because the flower
of that community are fellow-workers in that work? Why, even in the
contests of the games it is obvious that if it were possible for the
stoutest combatants to combine against the weakest, the chosen band
would come off victors in every bout, and would carry off all the
prizes. This indeed is against the rules of the actual arena; but in
the field of politics, where the beautiful and good hold empery, and
there is nought to hinder any from combining with whomsoever a man may
choose to benefit the state, it will be a clear gain, will it not, for
any one engaged in state affairs to make the best men his friends,
whereby he will find partners and co-operators in his aims instead of
rivals and antagonists? And this at least is obvious: in case of
foreign war a man will need allies, but all the more if in the ranks
opposed to him should stand the flower of the enemy.[21] Moreover,
those who are willing to fight your battles must be kindly dealt with,
that goodwill may quicken to enthusiasm; and one good man[22] is
better worth your benefiting that a dozen knaves, since a little
kindness goes a long way with the good, but with the base the more you
give them the more they ask for.
[20] "As archon," or "raised to rule."
[21] Lit. "the beautiful and good."
[22] Or, "the best, though few, are better worth your benefiting than
the many base."
So keep a good heart, Critobulus; only try to become good yourself,
and when you have attained, set to your hand to capture the beautiful
and good. Perhaps I may be able to give you some help in this quest,
being myself an adept in Love's lore.[23] No matter who it is for whom
my heart is aflame; in an instant my whole soul is eager to leap
forth. With vehemence I speed to the mark. I, who love, demand to be
loved again; this desire in me must be met by counter desire in him;
this thirst for his society by thirst reciprocal for mine. And these
will be your needs also, I foresee, whenever you are seized with
longing to contract a friendship. Do not hide from me, therefore, whom
you would choose as a friend, since, owing to the pains I take to
please him who pleases me, I am not altogether unversed, I fancy, in
the art of catching men.[24]
[23] "An authority in matters of love." Cf. Plat. "Symp." 177 D; Xen.
"Symp." viii. 2.
[24] See below, III. xi. 7; cf. Plat. "Soph." 222; N. T. Matt. iv. 19,
{alieis anthropon}.
Critobulus replied: Why, these are the very lessons of instruction,
Socrates, for which I have been long athirst, and the more
particularly if this same love's lore will enable me to capture those
who are good of soul and those who are beautiful of person.
Soc. Nay, now I warn you, Critobulus, it is not within the province of
my science to make the beautiful endure him who would lay hands upon
them. And that is why men fled from Scylla, I am persuaded, because
she laid hands upon them; but the Sirens were different--they laid
hands on nobody, but sat afar off and chanted their spells in the ears
of all; and therefore, it is said, all men endured to listen, and were
charmed.
Cri. I promise I will not lay violent hands on any; therefore, if you
have any good device for winning friends, instruct your pupil.
Soc. And if there is to be no laying on of the hands, there must be no
application either of the lips; is it agreed?
Cri. No, nor application of the lips to any one--not beautiful.
Soc. See now! you cannot open your mouth without some luckless
utterence. Beauty suffers no such liberty, however eagerly the ugly
may invite it, making believe some quality of soul must rank them with
the beautiful.
Cri. Be of good cheer then; let the compact stand thus: "Kisses for
the beautiful, and for the good a rain of kisses." So now teach us the
art of catching friends.
Soc. Well then, when you wish to win some one's affection, you will
allow me to lodge information against you to the effect that you
admire him and desire to be his friend?
Cri. Lodge the indictment, with all my heart. I never heard of any one
who hated his admirers.
Soc. And if I add to the indictment the further charge that through
your admiration you are kindly disposed towards him, you will not feel
I am taking away your character?
Cri. Why, no; for myself I know a kindly feeling springs up in my
heart towards any one whom I conceive to be kindly disposed to me.
Soc. All this I shall feel empowered to say about you to those whose
friendship you seek, and I can promise further help; only there is a
comprehensive "if" to be considered: if you will further authorise me
to say that you are devoted to your friends; that nothing gives you so
much joy as a good friend; that you pride yourself no less on the fine
deeds of those you love than on your own; and on their good things
equally with your own; that you never weary of plotting and planning
to procure them a rich harvest of the same; and lastly, that you have
discovered a man's virtue is to excel his friends in kindness and his
foes in hostility. If I am authorised thus to report of you, I think
you will find me a serviceable fellow-hunter in the quest of friends,
which is the conquest of the good.
Cri. Why this appeal to me?--as if you had not free permission to say
exactly what you like about me.
Soc. No; that I deny, on the authority of Aspasia.[25] I have it from
her own lips. "Good matchmakers," she said tome, "were clever hands at
cementing alliances between people, provided the good qualities they
vouched for were truthfully reported; but when it came to their
telling lies, for her part she could not compliment them.[26] Their
poor deluded dupes ended by hating each other and the go-betweens as
well." Now I myself am so fully persuaded of the truth of this that I
feel it is not in my power to say aught in your praise which I cannot
say with truth.
[25] Aspasia, daughter of Axiochus, of Miletus. See "Econ." iii. 14;
Plat. "Menex." 235 E; Aesch. Socrat. ap. Cic. "de Invent." I.
xxxi. 51. See Grote, "H. G." vi. 132 foll.; Cobet, "Pros. Xen."
[26] Reading {ouk ethelein epainein}, or if {ouk ophelein epainousas}
with Kuhner transl. "Good matchmakers, she told me, have to
consult truth when reporting favourably of any one: then indeed
they are terribly clever at bringing people together: whereas
false flatterers do no good; their dupes," etc.
Cri. Really, Socrates, you are a wonderfully good friend to me--in so
far as I have any merit which will entitle me to win a friend, you
will lend me a helping hand, it seems; otherwise you would rather not
forge any petty fiction for my benefit.
Soc. But tell me, how shall I assist you best, think you? By praising
you falsely or by persuading you to try to be a good man? Or if it is
not plain to you thus, look at the matter by the light of some
examples. I wish to introduce you to a shipowner, or to make him your
friend: I begin by singing your praises to him falsely thus, "You will
find him a good pilot"; he catches at the phrase, and entrusts his
ship to you, who have no notion of guiding a vessel. What can you
expect but to make shipwreck of the craft and yourself together? or
suppose by similar false assertions I can persuade the state at large
to entrust her destinies to you--"a man with a fine genius for
command," I say, "a practised lawyer," "a politician born," and so
forth. The odds are, the state and you may come to grief through you.
Or to take an instance from everyday life. By my falsehoods I persuade
some private person to entrust his affairs to you as "a really careful
and business-like person with a head for economy." When put to the
test would not your administration prove ruinous, and the figure you
cut ridiculous? No, my dear friend, there is but one road, the
shortest, safest, best, and it is simply this: In whatsoever you
desire to be deemed good, endeavour to be good. For of all the virtues
namable among men, consider, and you will find there is not one but
may be increased by learning and practice. For my part then,
Critobulus, these are the principles on which we ought to go a-
hunting; but if you take a different view, I am all attention, please
instruct me.
Then Critobulus: Nay, Socrates, I should be ashamed to gainsay what
you have said; if I did, it would neither be a noble statement nor a
true.[27]
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